Words From An Addict
By: Toni Whisenant
Addiction.
What a cruel word.
So taunting and crude,
Yet so very true.
A singular reason
To stay out of the public eye.
Weakness of the worst kind.
The pain of love
And the love of pain.
A never-ending vicious cycle.
Always putting me under
And drowning me in the waters
Of misery and grief.
To deny it
Makes it that much bigger.
To betray it
Makes it that much harder to kick.
Words from an addict
Too weak to hold her own.
To travel back down that road again
Would be my utter demise.
So why not give in
To its torturous calls?
Because to do so
Would destroy my only sense
Of perseverance and livlihood.
Yet it beckons me
Like a mermaid to the
Sailors of old.
Like a succubus to the
Weak-willed.
Can it be cured?
Or will this disease
Haunt me for the
Rest of my days?
Nothing is for sure,
Except that as I write this,
I damn and curse my addiction
To the fullest extent
Of what is left
Of my spirit.
Happiness is no more
With an illness
Such as this.
So treacherous the need
And so torturous the want.
The addiction overrules,
Yet I run from that need
And from that want.
I try not to look back
But every time I do,
I see it just over my shoulder.
Peering dauntingly.
Whispering to me
"I am here forever."
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Comments
Love it! I was a heroin junkie myself, not too long ago either.... I started with pills, opiate addiction is tough. Good luck! It's a long road. Anyways, keep it up, I'll keep looking for new stuff.
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@mariefontaine: Thank you. You are very lucky not to go through life with an addiction to drugs. Cigarettes are a completely different story for me. I like smoking cigarettes, but I know I need to stop at some point in my life before it gets to me. Thank you for your comment. :)
@PoeticFool: Again, you are lucky, very lucky, to go through life without an addiction of any kind. I was hoping to give insight to the people who don't know how it feels to be addicted to anything and to let people know who do go on with an addiction that they are not alone. There will always be points in time that addiction will run my life. Thank you for your advice. I try to find that run every day of my life. I have been sober from popping pills for almost a year, but it still grabs a hold of me and pulls me under.
I've never had any form of addiction, alcohol, drugs or otherwise but your poem gave me a bit of insight. You did a wonderful job expressing the relentlessness of addiction. Voted it up and awesome.
One thing I have learned in life is that it is easier to run away from something, like addiction, if you are running toward something you want even more. Try to find that and run! Best wishes to you.
Have mercy. This is SO realistic....so well written... my favorite line is the succubus line.... I have been lucky enough to come through life with no addictions to any drugs per se... but as I sit here viciously fiending for the pull of a cigarette and the rush of nicotiene and all the other toxins contained within... I understand even if only to a fraction...
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