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Words From An Addict

Updated on February 5, 2020
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By: Toni Whisenant

Addiction.

What a cruel word.

So taunting and crude,

Yet so very true.

A singular reason

To stay out of the public eye.

Weakness of the worst kind.

The pain of love

And the love of pain.

A never-ending vicious cycle.

Always putting me under

And drowning me in the waters

Of misery and grief.

To deny it

Makes it that much bigger.

To betray it

Makes it that much harder to kick.

Words from an addict

Too weak to hold her own.

To travel back down that road again

Would be my utter demise.

So why not give in

To its torturous calls?

Because to do so

Would destroy my only sense

Of perseverance and livlihood.

Yet it beckons me

Like a mermaid to the

Sailors of old.

Like a succubus to the

Weak-willed.

Can it be cured?

Or will this disease

Haunt me for the

Rest of my days?

Nothing is for sure,

Except that as I write this,

I damn and curse my addiction

To the fullest extent

Of what is left

Of my spirit.

Happiness is no more

With an illness

Such as this.

So treacherous the need

And so torturous the want.

The addiction overrules,

Yet I run from that need

And from that want.

I try not to look back

But every time I do,

I see it just over my shoulder.

Peering dauntingly.

Whispering to me

"I am here forever."

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    • MattyLeeP profile image

      MattyLeeP 

      9 years ago from Tucson, AZ

      Love it! I was a heroin junkie myself, not too long ago either.... I started with pills, opiate addiction is tough. Good luck! It's a long road. Anyways, keep it up, I'll keep looking for new stuff.

    • Phoenixx profile imageAUTHOR

      Toni Whisenant 

      9 years ago from Portland, OR

      @mariefontaine: Thank you. You are very lucky not to go through life with an addiction to drugs. Cigarettes are a completely different story for me. I like smoking cigarettes, but I know I need to stop at some point in my life before it gets to me. Thank you for your comment. :)

      @PoeticFool: Again, you are lucky, very lucky, to go through life without an addiction of any kind. I was hoping to give insight to the people who don't know how it feels to be addicted to anything and to let people know who do go on with an addiction that they are not alone. There will always be points in time that addiction will run my life. Thank you for your advice. I try to find that run every day of my life. I have been sober from popping pills for almost a year, but it still grabs a hold of me and pulls me under.

    • profile image

      Poetic Fool 

      9 years ago

      I've never had any form of addiction, alcohol, drugs or otherwise but your poem gave me a bit of insight. You did a wonderful job expressing the relentlessness of addiction. Voted it up and awesome.

      One thing I have learned in life is that it is easier to run away from something, like addiction, if you are running toward something you want even more. Try to find that and run! Best wishes to you.

    • mariefontaine profile image

      mariefontaine 

      9 years ago from Indianapolis, Indiana

      Have mercy. This is SO realistic....so well written... my favorite line is the succubus line.... I have been lucky enough to come through life with no addictions to any drugs per se... but as I sit here viciously fiending for the pull of a cigarette and the rush of nicotiene and all the other toxins contained within... I understand even if only to a fraction...

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