ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Would You Like Flies With That?

Updated on April 15, 2016

Twenty years ago Albert McCoy was a typical basement fly living out of his mother's basement at the prime of his life with no responsibilities. He was always in between jobs, most times unemployed, but he didn't care for he had way too much fun with his buddies while staying out all night drinking and getting laid. And of course sleeping all day.

But now Albert McCoy was a forty-three year old, hopeless, housefly, and according to his seventeen year old son, Eric, an uncool old bald crow, who worked twelve hours a day at the Nose Factory.

Now Albert may have thought he had it worse but he never stopped to think about his wife, Priscilla, or did he? Unlike her husband, Priscilla hardly ever got the joy to leave the house for anything other than chauffeuring or running to the store for she had way too much housework that needed tended and three children to maintain.

Priscilla was a fly who was always on the go. Twenty years ago she was a law intern, with Buzz & Associates Law Firm, with the intentions of making partner but things didn't go as she planned.

She started out as an apartment fly with the intentions of owning a house someday but this was not how she pictured it.

When she first got married, to Albert, she thought to herself how easy it all seemed. She had planned to keep her job and goal plans but when her eldest son, Eric, came along it started to go down hill. And then when Sarah and Andrew popped out everything just went down the drain and she was forced to quit her job.

It was just another ordinary morning in the McCoy household. Priscilla awoke before everyone else to make breakfast. Albert took his breakfast to go and left for work while his son, Eric, ate a hurried some breakfast and flew the coop to school.

Priscilla hurried the younger two along with their breakfast and out toward the waiting bus.

"But why can't we fly to?" demanded a fifteen year old Sarah.

"Because you are too young," answered an impatient Priscilla.

"But dad and Eric flies," whined Sarah.

"Just Go!" cried Priscilla as she threw the fifteen and ten year old on the bus. Man she hated her life. Sometimes she thought about running away.

 Johnny the BoxFly

Meanwhile Albert McCoy's cousin, Johnny the BoxFly has been living in a cardboard box every since his parents, the houseflies, kicked him out when he turned eighteen. Which was exactly seven years ago. Johnny has always been a lousy, clumsy, typical drunk. He has been evicted from fifty-six apartments and fired from seventy-two jobs.

And that was how he ended up living out of a cardboard box in an alley behind Beatle Joe's Tavern, also referred to as BJ's.

This particular night Johnny was to be found crawling back to his box after being tossed out of BJ's for not having any money to pay his tab.

Johnny stumbled over to an empty beer can and tried to stuck out any drops of beer left. Upon not finding one single drop he then tried to inhale the aroma.

He then went through another garbage can for more beer cans.

"Hey! What are you doing?" called a voice from the ground.

Flying on to the rim of the garbage can he saw Benny the Orange Tabby cat.

"Ge-Get out o-of he-here you d-d-dumb k-k-kitty," stuttered Johnny.

"Stuttering drunk," mumbled Benny the tabby.

"C-come an-and f-fight me like a t-tom," challenged Johnny.

"It's wrong to fight a drunk fly," said Benny the tabby. "So go sober up and come back and challenge me again."

"He-here k-k-kitty," cried Johnny, balling up his fists and stumbling toward the cat.

Gulp! Johnny go bye bye!

Which character did you like best?

See results
5 out of 5 stars from 3 ratings of Would You Like Flies With That?

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)