Writing 101: How to Write a Dynamic First Paragraph
This Begins with a Question
From time to time I’ll receive a question in the Writer’s Mailbag that really deserves a more detailed response than I can give in the Mailbag. This is one of those times.
From Linda: “Perhaps this will find its way into your Monday writer's mailbox. How does one create the perfect first paragraph, or perhaps even the perfect first sentence in a novel. You need to grab your reader's attention at the very start.
Perhaps I have a short attention span, but I know that if I'm not hooked by the end of page 1 I give up and go on to another book. Life is too short to spend time reading something that doesn't rev your engine. “
Linda, your wish is my command!
The Ten Second Rule
Linda is absolutely correct in her statement that “life is too short to spend time reading something that doesn’t rev your engine.” I suspect most readers feel the same. I call it the Ten Second Rule.
If a writer does not capture the attention of his/her readers in the first ten seconds, chances are those readers will go elsewhere. You know this to be true. Simply look at your own habits when choosing a book to read. You either read the summation on the jacket flap, or you open to page one and read the first couple of paragraphs. When you’ve done either of those two things, you make a decision whether to read that book or put it back on the shelf.
So to say that the first paragraph is important would be a gross understatement.
I was reading my daily allotment of articles on HubPages the other day, and I came across an article on how to make meatloaf. The article began with this sentence:
“This article will explain how to make a delicious meatloaf.”
Well duh!
I’m told that in the title. Why did I need to read it again in the first sentence? Now I’m sure most of you are laughing right now, but I’m also sure that most of you read articles with introductions like that one almost daily.
It would be kinder if the author simply gave me some valium and let me sleep peacefully.
Which brings us to Linda’s question: how do we create the perfect first paragraph?
A Few Suggestions
Creative writing should be….well….creative. It should not be tranquilizing.
I’m going to toss a few suggestions at you and hopefully you’ll read something that helps when you start with your next essay/short story/ novel.
The first thing I want you to consider is that almost all of us share the five senses of sight, hearing, touch, taste, and smell. Use that fact to your advantage. Call on commonalities we all share to capture the attention of your readers. In the example I mentioned earlier about a meatloaf article, I would have started by describing the smell of meatloaf as it bakes in the oven, or the heavenly taste of it as it rests on your tongue. Describe walking into the kitchen while the meatloaf is baking. If you do it properly, your readers will be able to experience it without being there and when that happens, you’ve got a winner.
The Shock Treatment
My recently-published novel, “Resurrecting Tobias,” begins with this line:
“I once witnessed a stoning.”
I then go on, in the first three paragraphs, to describe the horrific scene my main character witnessed when he was a reporter in the Middle East.
I call that the Shock Treatment.
I wanted an introduction that grabbed my readers by their throats and would not let them go, and I think I succeeded. Just in case the first sentence didn’t do that, my main character followed up with this paragraph:
. “I was in Iran covering a political story and had just left the Shah’s palace. On my way to the hotel, I noticed a crowd forming in the public square. A woman, dressed in traditional Islamic hijab, was buried to her shoulders, and ten men stood about twenty feet away throwing stones at her. The stones were about the size of a football, or maybe slightly smaller, all with sharp edges. The woman had several cuts on her face by the time I arrived, and the pain was obvious, but she did not cry out. Stone after stone hit her head, and the cuts increased, and as time passed, her skull appeared, and then brain-matter, and her blood flowed down to the dust, turning it red under the scorching sun.”
The Shock Treatment!
Thanks for the Memories
Remember when I mentioned earlier that we all share commonalities? Keep that in mind as you prepare to write an introduction. Is there a memory from your childhood that you can tell that will lead into your article? Is there a humorous event in your life that relates to the subject matter that you can share with your readers?
I truly believe that we are all unique, but I also believe we have experienced many of the same things. Writers should strive to call upon those shared experiences. Form a bond with your readers. Hit them on an emotional level that they can relate to. Once that bond is formed, I guarantee they will continue to read whatever it is you are writing.
Related to the Subject Matter but Slightly Removed
Now there is a confusing subtitle if I’ve ever seen one.
When I was teaching my students in creative writing classes, I would always tell them to find a way to introduce a topic without mentioning the topic. Let me give you an example to help you understand.
If I was going to write an essay on the horrors of war, what I definitely would not do is start off by telling you what the essay is about. I most likely wouldn’t start out with statistics or other facts because, quite frankly, statistics are usually boring. I would, though, start off something like this:
“Kinetic energy it is, a nice, tidy little name for a whole bunch of hurt. Take the bullet’s weight, factor in velocity, and toss in a pinch of gravitational trajectory, and we have some serious damage. As the bullet enters the human body, laceration and crushing wounds occur. Tissue and bone are punctured, anything in its path is crushed or pushed aside, and a cavity is formed, possibly thirty times wider than the bullet size. In less than a second after the bullet has entered, the cavity closes, but by then the damage to tissue, organs, and bones has been done, and we aren’t even talking about the shock waves that follow.
A 240-grain bullet (0.016 kg) travels 1,180 feet per second.
And then hits a body.”
Do you see how nicely that works as an attention-getter? Much better than statistics, don’t you think?
Join me on my writing blog
- William Holland | Helping Writers to Spread Their Wings and Fly
Tips, suggestions, and ideas for writers of any genre
That’s the End of Today’s Lesson
What do all of these suggestions have in common?
Well, first of all, they are not boring. Secondly, they succeed in grabbing the attention of the readers, thus satisfying the Ten Second Rule.
Is this difficult to do? I’m not sure I would describe it as difficult, but it does take some work and practice, and it also takes a desire to rise to a new level in your writing. Writing is a craft, and like all crafts, it requires that hours be spent on improving.
I hope you found this helpful, and I look forward to seeing the results in your articles in the future.
2014 William D. Holland (aka billybuc)
“Helping writers to spread their wings and fly.”
Comments
AUTHORThank you kalinin! I appreciate you stopping by.
Thank you for sharing your experience and your own first sentences/paragraphs - they're definitely attention grabbers, in the right way!
- AUTHOR
Deb, if you want to get the reader's attention, a difference of opinion or controversial statement will do it every time. :) Thanks for the visit. Now go visit your birds.
Hot sentences, and perhaps even a bit of the good old suggestion at differences of opinion to spur the thought processes, eh?
- AUTHOR
I hope I always do, DDE! Thank you!
Hi billybuc you always surprise with a helpful hub
- AUTHOR
Glimmer, I like that you have some sort of plan to draw people in...a photo works fine. Thanks for sharing that idea.
Well as you know I'm not writing a novel, but I am always trying to come up with a clever opening paragraph. It's not always easy with recipes and crafts. I try to draw folks in with my opening photo instead. Useful article Bill and Happy New Year to you and your family!
- AUTHOR
Thank you Dianna. I was just at the library and picked up a mystery by an unknown author because of the first sentence. He sold me in five seconds.
I like the challenge you gave your students. It is an excellent way to teach creative writing. The first paragraph is so important in keeping a reader's interest for the rest of the article. Thanks for the lessons.
- AUTHOR
vkwok, you excel at this. No need for you to listen to me. :) Merry Christmas my friend.
Thanks for the tips, Bill. Sometimes, beginnings can be really difficult to weave.
- AUTHOR
Denise, that's all it takes to grab attention. To keep it, however, takes a whole lot more. :) Thank you!
- AUTHOR
Thank you Manatita! Wishing you a dynamic weekend. :)
Ten seconds, huh? That's all it takes? Love it!
Thanks Bill.
All the good writers say this. It is essential to grab the reader almost straight away. Excellent Hub.
- AUTHOR
Thank you Pawpa...I always appreciate you stopping by.
Very helpful information as usual. Capturing a person's attention in today's world is especially difficult. I'll keep this in mind.
- AUTHOR
Zulma, I think starting with dialogue is an effective way to begin, as long as it is interesting dialogue. :) Thanks as always and Happy Friday to you.
- AUTHOR
I'm glad you found this helpful, Nadine, and thank you for sharing it with your writing friends and authors. I appreciate it.
I like this hub. It's given me some good ideas for writing the intro. I tend to start with dialogue because, well, who doesn't eavesdrop now and then. lol.
Again a great article to share amongst my writing friends and our authors.you have given me an idea about writing a marketing post using the first paragraph of my five novels . What the lessen for me was to start an article with a great paragraph. I will go over all my posts to see if i can do better and edit them. Thank you.
- AUTHOR
Mary, based on that brief review, I don't see myself reading about Giles Goat Boy. LOL Thanks for the warning.
- AUTHOR
Thank you Doc! It's always nice having you stop by. Blessings to you during the holiday season.
- AUTHOR
Thank you Alicia! I hope they prove useful to you and others.
- AUTHOR
Michael my friend, it is a pleasure to read your comments. You brought a smile to my face this morning. Thank you for that gift.
Blessings to you, this day and always
bill
- AUTHOR
You are very welcome, m abdullah javed
Smell, touch, taste....great way to start any sentence but especially a story or novel.
Your perception spills over and we learn. There was actually only one book I couldn't read but I made myself read it anyway, "Giles Goat Boy" I swear that was the title but I can't tell you anything else about it.
Voted up, useful, awesome, and interersting.
Thanks for sharing these helpful tips. I agree that the first paragraph is very important. Readers will often decide whether they want to keep reading a story or not. Your opening paragraphs always hook me in and makes me want to keep reading. vote up useful! Happy Holidays Bill.
Thanks for sharing the useful examples, Bill. They are certainly attention-grabbers!
Good evening Bill.
Willing not to leave you disappointed by endless , waiting while you are “ Looking forward to seeing results in your articles…” - let me practice as a disciplined pupil what you taught me in this extraordinary lesson for the beginners : “ Friends like us do always speak candidly . Imagine yourself knowing what your words meant to my hungry soul.
Immediately as I was reaching for the dictionary searching right direction way out from this convoluted HP mysterious voyage the winds of presence compelling me not looking back… (Huh)
See my friend all previous comment-ors have said more compliments to your helping us, leaving me without words to say more except to add my vote,
Useful and Interesting.
Blessings upon you and Good Night.
Thanks Bill Sir for the kind clarifications.
- AUTHOR
Rachael, it's just you!
I couldn't resist. :)
I can see how that would be a problem, and judging from many articles I have read on HP, it obviously is a problem for many writers. I think once a writer commits to adding factual information and, say, statistics, there is a very real danger of becoming "boring."
I don't have a solution for you, but I do have empathy. That and four bucks will buy you a mocha, right?
Thank you and best wishes.
- AUTHOR
Sandra, that is high praise and I thank you. I love that kind of response from someone of your experience.
- AUTHOR
Ahh, Bill, now you have it. Remember and do...a double whammy. :) Thank you!
- AUTHOR
m abdullah javed, you raised valid questions. I think in the case of online articles, where views are all-important to many writers, the first ten seconds is crucial. I think in the case of novels, or non-fiction books, the first few chapters are crucial.
Thank you for the holiday wishes, and the same to you, my friend.
Because the title comes first before I start working on a HubPages article, their format has groomed me into putting serious thought to decide a title. It never used to be that way, but now it is, since I've been hanging out here more than anyplace else. I am not one of those writers who can write everything out in Word first before publishing it on this site because the Word screen remains blank for a very long time. I think better with the format in front of me, moving text capsules hither and yon.
After deciding on my title, I probably spend too much time perfecting my opening sentences ... to the point of obsession. OK, you already know I have those kind of issues, so let's move on. lol
What happens to my "stuff" is that it gets boring in the middle. Either I totally drop the ball, or I get bogged down in factual nonsense, or I have more than one tangent or sub-plot vying to overtake the work. I wonder if other writers run into that?? ...and please don't say - Rache, it is just you!
Your hubs are always unique and that is an under-statement. I've been writing for years yet continue to learn new things and tighten my writing by reading your material. Another home run for you. Thanks
Always good advice. The real challenge it to both remember to do it, and, do it well. Thanks, as always! ;-)
- AUTHOR
Thank you, Ruby. I'll have something that you can actually enjoy tomorrow.
I read your comment on Frank's hub about the first line and saw the effect too. Great info. Bill.
The ten second rule make us concerned about our approach towards writing something constructive and effective. Since the attention span is deemed as a shorter one what if it exceeds? Is it possible to alter the duration of rule? And how far, in case if someone leaves halfway because of lack of dynamic first para, the ten second rule succeeds in justifying if the overall message is good and a creative one?
However the general idea what we get out of it is quite effective and helpful. Thank you so much for the inspiration Bill Sir. Wishing you and your family a Marry Christmas and a Happy New Year in advance.
- AUTHOR
I really appreciate that, Iris. Thank you so much.
- AUTHOR
My pleasure, Brad. Just consider me Cheerleader Bill! :)
billybuc
Thanks for the pep talk, I appreciate it.
The shock treatment is what got me to buy "Resurrecting Tobius". Great hook. Great book.
- AUTHOR
Thank you very much, Deb. Either I'm full of b.s. or I still remember how to be a teacher. :)
- AUTHOR
Thank you Marlene. Your words are music to my ears, because that is exactly what I try to do...so evidently I'm doing it. :)
- AUTHOR
Ann, I do love adjective for sure. I don't use nearly the number of adverbs as I once did since I read an interesting article by a well-known author who said adverbs are the tools of the lazy. LOL I am so impressionable. :)
I don't know how you do it. Your advice keeps getting better and better.
- AUTHOR
Brad, let me answer your question this way: I have yet to be bored to the point of not reading one of your articles, so you must be doing something correct. I have a very low tolerance for boredom and poor writing, and you've managed to keep me interested.
- AUTHOR
Linda, that is so kind of you. Thank you, and I hope to feel the air move soon as you start flapping your wings. :)
- AUTHOR
Keep flapping, Ann, and prepare for liftoff!
bill
Bill, this is such a good lesson. I have to say that you are true to everything you say. When I read your novels, every word and every sentence is compelling and propelling. It's hard to put the book down because one sentence leads me to wanting to read the next. I know we're talking about beginnings here, but your endings... well, they are unpredictable, yet climactically satisfying.
This is a great reminder for all of us, Bill. I had an English Composition teacher tell us one time that a good way to start an opening sentence is with an adverb and you should avoid starting with "the," because, well, it's boring.
The red horse galloped through the pasture.
Suddenly, the red horse started at a gallop through the pasture.
I love adverbs and adjectives, don't you?
billybuc
Mentioning the light at the other end of the tunnel gave rise to reader speculation as to the origin of the light. Some speculated that it was the sunlight bursting through from the other end of the tunnel. Yet, others thought that it was the light on the front of an approaching locomotive. I could have dispelled all of these incorrect guesses, if I had only mentioned that this tunnel was an old no longer functioning mine tunnel. In which case, the reader might have correctly speculated that it was a spotlight held by a curious prospector.
Where did that paragraph hit in respect to the message contained in this hub? I believe that my hubs have been started by mentioning that White was the color of George Washington's White Charger. I have been starting with the intended Eureka of the Destination in my latest hubs so that the reader wouldn't get lost in the serpentine trail, as I wind the story to that destination.
??
Thanks
I wish you could have been my Creative Writing teacher (but it would have been quite odd for a middle-aged women to be sitting amidst all of those teenagers).
You've done more than simply answer my question. I'm really thinking (and I'll bet a great many in your audience are as well). I believe that all of us have a story that wants, NEEDS to come out. With your guidance I believe that we can spread our wings and fly.
Oh, bill, and there's me thinking I was beginning to fly! :)
- AUTHOR
I agree, Michelle. Life is hectic for us all, so instant gratification is a must for writers. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and Happy Wednesday to you.
- AUTHOR
Ann, I saw it, but decided that you are, after all, only human. :)
bill
- AUTHOR
Good suggestion, russinserra. Opening with a comment or conversation can be very useful and effective. Thanks for sharing that.
- AUTHOR
I love it, Dora! I can see that little warning above the screen, reminding us that we only have ten seconds. Thanks for being here always.
- AUTHOR
Mari, you are so right. Life is too short, so dazzle me quickly or get out of my way. :) Thank you!
- AUTHOR
Thank you Venkatachari M. I'm a teacher, and I love to pass on what I know. I'm glad it is well-received.
Great tips Bill. If you don't catch the attention of your reader quick then you are wasting your time. I have found like Linda my attention span is really short and that is likely due to our fast pace world nowadays. Have a great week.
Of course we aren't! However, I've just noticed an unforgivable mistake in the second line of my comment which should of course read, 'many out there who don't understand'. Ooops!
Ann :)
I often try to start with a short conversation or comment form someone.
"That's a good look for you." I would hope someone would wan to find out what that was about.
And don't forget the title. Especially on a site such as tgis one, I find myself choosing which hub to read by the title.
Another great lesson. I can remember several first lines of stories I have read. I guess that's also confirmation that they were good. I'm pinning Annart's warning.
I'm the same way. I read the first few pages and if I'm not engulfed, then I'm gone! I have things to do!
Very awesome and wonderful coaching by you, Bill! It is quite pretty damn useful. That's why I like you so much, my friend. Have a nice day.
- AUTHOR
Ann, I'm convinced there are some who would ignore that warning pinned on top of the screens. Some people, I'm afraid, are unteachable.
But we aren't, are we? :)
Thank you and Happy Wednesday to you, Ann.
bill
Great intro to the intro! Yes, we do have to spend hours on improving our craft and there are many out there that don't understand that concept.
Lots of useful suggestions here; now no one has an excuse not to come up with an outstanding first para. We should all have a warning pinned at the top of our screens, 'Watch that first sentence!'
Happy Wednesday, bill!
Ann
- AUTHOR
Thank you Pop...only one is for sale right now, and you can find it on Amazon http://www.amazon.com/Resurrecting-Tobias-William-... appreciate it, my friend.
You are a fabulous teacher, my friend. I have been very re-miss, I must confess. I want to buy your novels and I want them NOW! How do I go about that?
- AUTHOR
LOL...Bill, now if I could get paid for this, I would have the best of both worlds. :) Thanks my friend.
- AUTHOR
That's interesting, Sha. I've never been big on King but I do like Koontz....the only exception is "Storm of the Century" which I loved.
Anyway, carry on and have a great day.
- AUTHOR
Eric, I think that is true for many writers. I know i learn best by reading the work of others.
Thanks, buddy, and Happy Wednesday to you.
Thanks, Bill. I wonder why people sometimes take writing courses when you're just a click away. You're also much more practical.Thanks again, teacher!
It's so true; the first paragraph will make or break a book, article, or any form of literature.
I have one of Stephen King's Dark Tower books. I've never finished it. Even when I run out of things to read and try to pick it back up, I just can't get into it. It doesn't grab my attention. He fell out of my graces after that and Dean Koontz has taken his place.
Well now I sure learned a whole bunch about writing from the words you used. I mean that both ways. Just reading your hubs helps me become a better writer. And of course the lesson is very helpful.
- AUTHOR
Thank you, Frank. Your article today is the perfect example of this lesson.
writing 101 is just that..writing 101 clear, and easy to take away what you need.. I love this line : Creative writing should be….well….creative. It should not be tranquilizing.... sometimes i feel the same way.. great little educational piece Professor BillyBuc....:) up and shared
- AUTHOR
Janine, considering the fact that you write a blog, I think you do a very good job of this. I always enjoy your thoughts about your family, even though I know you will eventually sell a product, and that means you are doing something very right. :) Thanks dear friend.
Bill, I totally took creative writing back in the day and I try so hard even when I write now to remember the first lesson I learned back then that the first topic sentence is truly crucial by reaching out pretty much grabbing your audience's attention from the get go. So, thank you for the reminder and a few more hints here on how to go about this. Definitely appreciate it. Hoping you are having a great morning so far now!
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