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YES_NO_MAYBE

Updated on August 5, 2013
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YES, NO, MAYBE

Alternating through love and hatred in a state of emotional confusion. All the while wading through the mud of reality and fantasy.

Dizzy, swaying on the edge of enlightenment and total insanity. Staggering at the edge of the great abyss. Desiring to fall, afraid to fall. Will I fall down or will I fall up?

Darkness. Light. Voices encouraging me, whispers threatening me.

Is my dream state reality or am I awake, experiencing a grand illusion? Why do I sometimes enjoy the nightmares and yet dread contentment during awareness?

Am I really here or am I the result of a program designed for the entertainment of another? Am I the dream of someone else? Am I really here or am I the imagination of myself while sitting in a padded room?

Is there a god? Should I pray to god? Am I god?

I think I am just a brain, wounded by society, forced to dwell within this body.

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    • wayne barrett profile image
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      Wayne Barrett 4 years ago from Clearwater Florida

      Thank you Marcei. I am glad you enjoyed it.

    • Marsei profile image

      Sue Pratt 4 years ago from New Orleans

      All your questions have also come to mind as we wind down our visit here at the cabin in Arkansas. This work brings to mind Bach's "Illusions." I believe this life is a dream and not reality, a dream created through our thinking and feeling. I believe reality is so very, very, very much more. Thank you for your questions. I have answers, finally, to all but one.

      marsei

    • wayne barrett profile image
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      Wayne Barrett 4 years ago from Clearwater Florida

      Hello, Victoria. Thank you very much for the kind words and the support. Maybe we will run into each other at the beach one day. Out is a small world.

    • baygirl33 profile image

      victoria 4 years ago from Hamilton On.

      Lovely Wayne! voted you awesome.

      But scary! Is it possible we are all one mind,here trying to figure out what we are,why we are.

      If we're God,I'm afraid.I was depending on a higher power to save me somehow.

      Will come back to read more.

      BTY I vacation on the Gulf of Mexico every year,at Redington Shores.

    • wayne barrett profile image
      Author

      Wayne Barrett 4 years ago from Clearwater Florida

      Thank you, Alex. I have heard that sentiment from a lot of people concerning this one. I guess we all have questions.

    • sweetandsassy profile image

      Alex Scott 4 years ago

      I can totally identify with this! Great poem!

    • wayne barrett profile image
      Author

      Wayne Barrett 4 years ago from Clearwater Florida

      And hope is what keeps us going!

    • cam8510 profile image

      Chris Mills 4 years ago from Missoula, Montana at least until March 2018

      Wayne, I believe that as long as we can still ask the questions, there is hope.

    • wayne barrett profile image
      Author

      Wayne Barrett 4 years ago from Clearwater Florida

      Thank you Janelle. This is one of my favorites also.

    • janell93 profile image

      janell93 4 years ago

      This is AWESOME! Your words are so intense and very deep. Great poem.

    • wayne barrett profile image
      Author

      Wayne Barrett 4 years ago from Clearwater Florida

      Thank you bravewarrior

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 4 years ago from Central Florida

      Wayne, this is an amazing poem. Deep, dark and full of trapped questions. Bravo!

    • wayne barrett profile image
      Author

      Wayne Barrett 4 years ago from Clearwater Florida

      Thank you Dana. And no need to apologize about the rambling...It's what we writers do, either verbally or with the quill.

    • wayne barrett profile image
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      Wayne Barrett 4 years ago from Clearwater Florida

      I appreciate your kind words, and yes..if we are allowed to still run around we must be okay : )

    • wayne barrett profile image
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      Wayne Barrett 4 years ago from Clearwater Florida

      Thank you CrisSp for your vote and the wonderful compliment.

    • DanaTeresa profile image

      Dana Strang 4 years ago from Ohio

      HOW DID YOU GET INSIDE MY HEAD! This is fantastic. You really do a beautiful job of laying out those questions so many of us struggle with wanting answers to.... I have stopped worrying about if there is a God. It doesn't change how I live my life - it would take me far to long to explain that....

      "Why do I sometimes enjoy the nightmares and yet dread contentment during awareness?"--- no kidding! Why is it that the bad things, even if just a nightmare, are so real and believable. Yet I have a hard time enjoying the good things in front of me. I struggle with that. Getting better. "wounded by society" is right! Whenever things look up, or I let my guard down, or think I have found a friend, I get kicked in the teeth.... I still get up though. No other choice.

      Sorry for the ramble! I tend to do that.

      GREAT HUB! Thanks for the mental/spiritual workout.

    • D.Juris Stetser profile image

      D.Juris Stetser 4 years ago from South Dakota

      I love this, and not just because you seem to be inside my mind, but its reassuring to realize two of us (at least!) can have such 'out there' ideas, self-analyzing, self fearing(?) thoughts and we're still allowed to run around loose so we must be 'okay'.. lol I hope! Really, isn't it astonishing what our minds can give us when we start really questioning reality itself? If there IS such a thing, of course. Really awesome poem, beautifully stated, and sooo interesting...thanks

    • CrisSp profile image

      CrisSp 4 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      One thought provoking piece with a lovely picture. Wish we have the answers... but then again, life is a mystery.

      Beautifully written. Voted up, pinning and sharing!

    • wayne barrett profile image
      Author

      Wayne Barrett 4 years ago from Clearwater Florida

      Thank you B.Leekly. Just reading your analogy on the piece gives me a desire to pick up where I left off and continue. Its such a mysterious thought process toward an idea that is probably beyond human comprehension that no matter how long the questioning diatribe I don't think we could ever reach a decisive opinion on the subject. But because of the hunger for answers...we delve on. Its a wonderful but frustrating thing.

    • B. Leekley profile image

      Brian Leekley 4 years ago from Kalamazoo, Michigan, USA

      Up and Interesting. Yes, it's all a wonder. According to A COURSE IN MIRACLES, human souls jointly are imagining the whole manifest universe, which has no reality. Does consciousness create matter or do our material brains create consciousness? According to the book I AM THAT by Nisargadatta Maharaj, whatever has a beginning has an end, so at death, our bodies rot and our minds and personalities are gone but that something that is aware of having a body, a mind, a personality, one's I am, continues. What is that?

    • bizarrett81 profile image

      bizarrett81 4 years ago from Maine

      That's how I feel all the time

    • profile image

      tsmog 4 years ago

      Amen! I concur . . .

      tim

    • wayne barrett profile image
      Author

      Wayne Barrett 4 years ago from Clearwater Florida

      Thank you for your compliment and your thoughts on the piece. It is definitely a subject to make one dizzy. As a writer, it's something that I could ramble on about continuously without ever reaching a conclusion until I have to stop and ask myself,"did anything I just wrote make a lick of sense?" But's it's my high!

    • wayne barrett profile image
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      Wayne Barrett 4 years ago from Clearwater Florida

      Your compliments are much appreciated. It's just nice to be able to share thoughts like these with fellow writers who "get it".

    • wayne barrett profile image
      Author

      Wayne Barrett 4 years ago from Clearwater Florida

      Thank you Beth...let's keep inspiring each other.

    • tsmog profile image

      Tim Mitchell 4 years ago from Escondido, CA

      Like Epi a notch above, I agree that these sentiments knock upon doors. Yet, I have learned many times it is the window near to that the offers a solution. A profound article prompting thoughts as a Dearest Best Friend would say causes one to be 'dizzy.' If work not ahead and near, then a hub I see seeking while not answering.

      I end with only a thought of that door knocked upon - think the 'Wizard of Oz.' Seems as Dorothy knocked she discovered a curtain, a bit later, oddly the same, yet he was leaning through a window, only as a visitor . . .

      tim

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 4 years ago

      Well Wayne , I love your deep, soulful profound mind - more questions here than we could ever hopefully answer in a lifetime but you are opening up a field of debate here which is always encouraging and inspirational to lucky readers like me who get to read your poetic, emotional and intellectual thoughts.

      Sending you warm wishes and good energy from lake erie time ontario canada 2:12pm and thank you for your royal endoresement of my humble little hubspace - coming from someone special like you - really means alot.

    • profile image

      ERIKA 4 years ago

      Dad, this is amazing, and it sounds so much like something I have written once a few years ago. Yours is far better written then mine though :)

    • bizarrett81 profile image

      bizarrett81 4 years ago from Maine

      So many thoughts that I have had myself!! I love this and I can't wait for you to post more! Going to share = )