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Bullying is Creating Monsters? !| You Are Not A Monster: Do Not Let Them Make You One.
You are not a murderer...
I was a teenage monster, or I thought I was one. I honestly thought that I was the elephant man, and that people looked at me in horror whenever I walked by. In one year, I went from one of the popular kids (having lunch with twenty or thirty people) to being a nerd, geek, or an outsider (all three put downs are now compliments- in my eyes). Over one summer, my looks changed so much that when I said hello to my best friend at the beginning of a new school year, we did not see each during summer vacation, he asked me who I was. The little acne I had decided to erupt into mountain ranges of fiery cysts. Worse, I inherited my father’s eyes, and I had to wear glasses. For some unknown reason, I decided to rock big gold glasses with thick lenses. If being tormented at school was not enough, I had an alcoholic step dad, who delighted in calling me a geek or a nerd daily.
The pain became so unbearable, that one day I found myself with a loaded rifle in the garage contemplating life or death. I decided not to kill myself, and I forsook revenge. I sought help in my time of need, and I survived without becoming a real monster (or a murderer). The following is ten thoughts/or suggestions to keep one from becoming a monster.
1. I once had a professor tell a class that I was one of the angriest individual he has ever met, but that it was okay, because I used my anger for good. In fact, in many circles, my temper is legendary. Why am I so angry? Well, to be honest, mainly because life is not fair. Use that anger to do good and, to motivate you, to change your life. Remember, the monster that Dr. Frankenstein made was ,well, made. You decide who you are, not them.
2. I f you decide to kill someone-hell will await you, either in prison or after you die or both. Furthermore, you will cause pain to your victims families and yours. Do you really want to hurt other innocents…like you have been hurt?
3. I understand that there are more of them and, a lot of the time, they are stronger than you. It is not hard to understand the temptation to gain the upper hand by the use of firearms or other weapons; however,if you go that route, you ultimately lose . You become more of a monster than they are. The best revenge you can have is to survive and to be happy.
4. Church may be a good option for you. I have been an agnostic for a good part of my life, and I choked on this part of advice when it was given to me. I saw most Christians as hypocrites, but I soon learned that Christ hated hypocrites too. What is important is there is a support system for you in church and ,hopefully, soft hearts, and you need to believe in something greater than yourself.
5. Always remember, you are more developed, as a human being, than they are (yes, I went there, and I did it with a smile). You are smarter and have developed empathy. You realize that actions have consequences and effect others. Take pride in what you are and take the steps necessary to ensure your survival (non violent steps, of course).
6. The Internet can provide friends, and they may be better friends than the ones you have at school. It is easier to open up on the Internet, than it is talking to someone face to face( watch out for predators). I strongly suggest that you check out a Hub or website about online safety before you endeavor to do this.
7. Remember that seeking counseling is a sign of strength. Also keep in mind that if you hurt yourself or others, they win (and, you do not want them to win).
8. Things really will get better, and you need to have support systems in place for today. Realize the value of the friends and you do have to remember it is about quality, not quantity. Speaking about friends, the topic of boyfriends and girlfriends needs to be addressed.
A boyfriend or a girlfriend will happen, but it may not happen until after high school. Why? One reason is only a matter of numbers (there are more people in college). Another is that the girls or boys will be more mature in college (well, some of them). With their new found maturity, they will start looking for something different, more mature.
9. Puppies, and their mom, saved my life, and an animal might save yours . How can puppies save someone’s life? When I was a teenager, there was a terrible storm and a tornado warning in the state that I lived. I went out to the garage to check on my dog’s new puppies. The mom and the puppies were sleeping right through the storm. As soon as I walked in, they all woke up. The puppies got out of the box, they were sleeping in, and started playing with me. One grabbed my sock and did his best to rip it off. Another fur-face put its head on my lap and fell asleep. Two others started having a wrestling match. The point is, that memory brings a smile to my lips 27 years later. It helps to remember that good things happen and good things will happen again.
10. Talk to your school counselor, your preacher, or rabbi, a suicide help line 1-800-273-TALK (8255), your parents, or your friends about what you might be planning and what you are going through. The worst thing to do is to isolate yourself, or to continuely concentrate on your anger, or start plotting revenge.
In closing, I wish that I could say that someone will see your plight and save you. The truth is that you are going to have to save yourself…even if you do not feel like it. You can do it and it is more than worth your time. You too, can be a survivor in an absurd universe.