How You Can Be a Professional Shower Singer
Are You A Secret Singer . . .
I am. And proud of it. I have always dreamed of singing since I first heard "Hound Dog," by Elvis Presley. Singing is fun. Singing is great entertainment for you and those who listen to you, that is, if you know how to sing. That is the catch to this pipe-dream I keep having. But I keep trying. And with each attempt to sing like the singers who I idolized when I was growing up, I keep bringing embarrassment to me, my family and what friends I have left. No one ever said that singing was easy. Even Frank Sinatra had a few bad days.
The Real Reason I Chose To Sing In The Shower Was . . .
not my family threatening to walk out of my life. Not because the neighborhood dogs barked in harmony when I would sing, but singing in the shower, for me, is wonderful training for me in my dream to become a real, true-blue singer. I guess you think that I am foolish, but that is okay. I know that I must endure some hardships along the way to stardom. All the singers I listed in photos on this hub endured hardships, paid harsh dues, and climbed their way to the top. I plan on doing the same thing, but because I am not a selfish man, I am sharing with you, how "You Can Be A Professional Shower Singer".
Why The Shower?
- it's FREE. Well, except the water bill, but other than that one bill, you have no hefty charges for some singing teacher who used to be a singer somewhere teach you how to carry a tune while charging you out the nose for her time.
- it SOUNDS GREAT to hear your voice bounce off the shower enclosure or wall as you belt out your favorite tunes from whatever generation you choose.
- it MAKES SENSE to practice alone in the shower for this prevents people from leaving your life and making you friendless.
- it WORKS when I get just the right pitch and tune, I think I sound great. And you can too if you just continue reading this story. I can tell that you are excited.
But why singing, you ask. Well, my good friend, who yearns to be the one who is invited to all the parties just because he (or she) can sing like a canary, have you ever tried to tap dance while taking a shower? I didn't think so. So you see, singing in the shower can lead to you building self-confidence, more self-esteem and character. Yes, I said character. Singing in the shower is an humbling experience. And singing in the shower is a common act familiar with most human beings. There is just something magical about a shower that makes one what to sing. And sing loudly out of happiness or just celebrating the fact that you can make a musical sound come from your voice box and that, my friend, is reason enough to want to sing in the shower.
Making A List Of Mostly-Easy Songs To Sing In The Shower . . .
is the first thing to do. Organization is everything to a shower singer. Did you think that you could just waltz-into the shower and as if by magic, you would instantly become a professional shower singer? Not hardly. Nothing (but taxes) come that easy, friend. You must do as I did, compile a list of your favorite singers, not necessarily those on this hub, and choose two or three songs by your favorite artists and practice them over and over in the shower. I must give you a friendly warning: If you are awkward about singing when your wife or children are around, tone-down your voice and the sound of the running water should keep your family from saying, "Hoo-n-eee, is that a wild animal suffering outside our house?"
Another thing I suggest is wait until the wife and kids are gone shopping before you start your career as a professional shower singer. This tip worked better for me because I have a huge ego and can perform many hit songs by the people on this hub better alone in my shower than when my family is home. But it's your choice. Use whatever method works for you.
Before I list the songs from the artists I have listed and why, I will tell you why it's important for you to become, even with hard work, a professional shower singer.
POPULARITY. Everyone loves to be popular. Come on. Be honest. Yes, that is right. It is not a sin to be popular. By becoming a professional shower singer, no telling at the neighbors who will invite YOU to their house for a get-together and all of your friends will gather in the living room or the room nearest the bathroom and listen to you croon out the songs that made your friends fall in love or even find love in the first place. See? There is an upside to being a professional shower singer.
JOB OPPORTUNITIES. Everyone who hears you sing in their shower will tell someone at their office and soon, you will be able to charge for your one-man (or woman)-shower concerts. No one will think hard of you for charging. It took you sacrificing, paying dues, and suffering to get where you are now, a professional shower singer, which, honestly, is a few pegs above a wedding or funeral singer.
PERSONAL ENJOYMENT. I ask you. What other activity can give you this much enjoyment and personal satisfaction? None. I knew I was right. And look at it this way. You will always be the cleanest man (or girl) in town because you spend all of your free time in someone's shower.
The Songs I Have Chosen By My Favorite Singers And Why . . .
- Nat King Cole - I chose "Unforgettable," for this is a slow song. Easy to follow. And memorize. This song might be a good warmer-upper for you. I started with "Unforgettable," one Saturday night a few months back, and before I could say Ivory soap, I sounded great. No as good as Nat King Cole, but who does?
- Bobby Darrin - talk about smooth, popular, cool. Darrin was the man. He always looked good. Everywhere he went. I would bet that he looked good mowing his lawn. I chose "You Musta Been a Beautiful Baby," and his monster-hit, "Mac, The Knife," to cut my shower singing teeth with. And frankly, I love to get deep into "Mac, The Knife," and you can too. And you can snap your fingers just like Bobby did. No one is looking. Go on. Snap your fingers.
- Herman's Hermits - "Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Daughter," and "Henry The VIII," are the songs that are easily-sung in the shower. They are cute and fun to sing as well. Unless you have a head full of hair, do not try and bop your head around as you sing for this might lead to some embarrassment.
- Beatles - "Hey, Jude," and "Yesterday," are nostalgic ballads. Both are slow songs and not difficult to remember the words or tempo. When singing these tunes, I pretend that I am Paul McCartney, in concert at Carnegie Hall, New York. Imagining you are in a big concert hall helps.
- Sam The Sham's - "Wooly Bully," and "Little Red Riding Hood," are so much fun that you will never want to leave the shower. These songs rock, my friend. Never age. And you should at least consider one of these as your warm-up song for your next shower concert.
- Jimi Hendrix - guitar master, writer, superstar. "Purple Haze," and his soulful, "Voodoo Chile," are the easiest to learn. "Crosstown Traffic," is much-harder and too fast when you are just beginning to be a shower singer.
- The Ink Spots - like Nat King Cole, cannot be duplicated. Ever. These guys, I believe, were sent from God to sing on earth to teach us humans how angels sound in Heaven. I really believe that. "If I Didn't Care," is so slow and rich, that you will get lost almost instantaneously. This song is that good. But do not try, at first, to hit all the high notes, but it is hard work. Just be patient and soon you will be singing (almost) like the Ink Spots.
- Bobbie Gentry - and her hit, "Ode To Billy Joe," made me want to be a shower singer. Her sandy-edged voice is so delightful to hear, unlike mine, I just chose "Ode To Billy Joe," because it's easy, man, easy to sing. And sometimes, your wife or kids might eavesdrop on you to hear this song. You, one day, will be this good.
Things You Won't Need While Singing In Your Shower . . .
- Instruments---especially an electric guitar. Do not be foolish, just sing. Not play.
- Pets--they are only distractions. Sing alone. You can measure how good or bad you really are.
- Sheet Music--face it. If you are like me, you cannot read a note of music, and it would get soaked anyway. Leave frivolous things like sheet music to the singers who love to be seen and heard on stage.
- Megaphone--not yet. You are just starting out. Be patient. Your day will come.
- Tape Recorder--are you nuts? It will get wet and your tape will be destroyed. Leave the taping to when you are alone in your basement if you want to stretch your faith and try singing somewhere besides a shower.
Okay, my friend. There you have it. A 'musical toolbox' of tips and advice on how you, yes, you, with some hard work, sacrifice and practice, can be like me, a "Professional Shower Singer," and here and now, in front of God and everyone, I make you this promise . . .
If and when you become a professional shower singer, I will be the first to invite you over to my house while I sit in my living room with my family drinking coffee, munching Cheez-its and listening to my pupil, who I helped to mold into the shower singer he (or she) is today.