- Books, Literature, and Writing»
- Commercial & Creative Writing»
- Creative Writing»
- Humor Writing
30 Ways To Know You're In Montana...
I was not born in Montana, but lived there for a the majority of my youth. Montana is a beautiful place, but like anywhere else, there's always a joke to be made about where you're from. In my case, this can relate to any of the Midwest "Country" states.
1. The wind blows faster than your vehicle can go.
2. There are more bars than churches in you're town.
3. The elevation exceeds the population.
4. The rodeo popularity is the equivalent of the Grammy Awards.
5. You can still choose if you want your groceries in paper or plastic bags.
6. Everyone pronounces "creek" as "crick".
7. You talk about a combine and people don't wonder what your are building.
8. You still call it a "jockey box."
9. If you have a Dairy Queen anywhere nearby it is only open three months out of the year.
10. If you have had an actual phone conversation with someone who you got a hold of by dialing the wrong number.
11.If someone at Home Depot offers you help in the store and they aren't even an employee.
12. If while driving you have switched from A/C to High Heat in the same drive on the same day.
13. If you graduated top of your class only because your class had two students in it.
14. If both you and your wife carry jumper cables and both know how to use them.
15. If you know the four seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction.
16. If your measure distance in time rather than miles.
17. If you leave your keys in your car at night and your car is still there in the morning.
18. If you design your childrens Halloween costumes to fit over a snowcoat.
19. If you find twenty-five degrees in December a heat wave.
20. If you can't date anyone from the next town over because you guys are rivals in high school sports.
21. You know how to correctly pronounce "Butte".
22. If you have worn shorts and boots at the same time.
23. If driving in the winter is better because the pot holes are filled in.
24. If every bumper stick you see involves guns, hunting, fishing, or chewing tobacco.
25. If you can't find your golf ball among all the hail stones.
26. If you spend more money on your horse than on your car.
27. If you only know four spices: salt, pepper, ranch dressing, and ketchup
28. At least twice a year your kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.
29. If you have 12 favorite recipes for Elk meat.
30. You have to keep your windows up on your car at campgrounds so that the bears don't drive away in them.