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Zombies Attack! What Comes Next?

Updated on June 3, 2012

In light of recent news reports of a so-called "Zombie Attack" in Miami, New Jersey and Maryland. It seems like its in the east coast then. Of course the media will do what they can to cover it up, and they already have. Don't be fooled, we all expected this day would come in some way or another. It'll come fast and you best have your wits about you, for if you don't then you may end up lifelessly walking the streets looking for your next walking happy meal. No need to fret as this article's soul purpose is to make you all aware of the danger that is coming, and teach you how to deal with it. I have put together a careful grouping of a certain set of rules to abide by in the time of a zombie apocalypse. Some of them, I'd say are obvious, but some people are not too quick when it comes to this content. Now, queue up your Queen soundtrack preferably to "Don't Stop Me Now" as the rules will be broken down starting now.

Rule #1: Cardio

Jesse Eisenberg said it perfectly in Zombieland, cardio should be rule number one. Those poor fat bastards will be easy first targets for the walking dead from the get-go. What can you do to combat this? Hit the gym, if you don't feel like it, start running. You'll need it as when the zombie outbreak comes it be chaotic in the beginning as everyone will be attempting to somewhere. In the midst of the anarchy, the zombie population will grow and grow. Hopefully, you would be staying low in some sort of secure shelter and if need be you can run. It is not ideal to be run, but it is a great skill to have in the zombie apocalypse. It is essential, while often overlooked as you will most certainly have to run a good amount while surviving the zombie apocalypse. I hope you have started running on a treadmill as you continue to read this. Yes, good job. There's hope for you after all.

Rule #2: Protection

Most would make a run for your local gun store when the zombies begin surfacing in large quantities, and where there is more people, there will always be more zombies. While it is a necessity to have some sort of weapon to be able to fend the undead off of you, a gun can provide great protection but if you run out of ammo then your in trouble. By no means am I saying don't take a gun when presented with one, just be mindful of your bullets and more importantly how you use them. The sound of a gun being fired can frequently attract the undead to your position. Ammunition will always be in short supply when the zombies attack, thus a good melee weapon or two will proof very handy. You can be creative with melee weapons as well, take a baseball bat and put some nails into it. Video games can come in handy here, as we all know some other helpful combinations for lethal weapons. To think that your parents told you when you were a child that video games wouldn't get you anywhere. Now we will show them!

Rule #3: Nutrition

For all those Hunger Game fans out there, your one step ahead of the game. You know how crucial food can be in a post-apocalyptic world. Case and point, Katniss Everdeen was presented with a burnt piece of bread that was then tossed into the mud and yet it didn't stop her from savoring every last piece of it. In a zombie apocalypse, it is no different sadly as food will become a difficult thing to come about. Most people are used to food being easily gathered for us via a grocery store or what have you. While a grocery store could be a good place to go to after some time has passed, you don't know if the food inside the place will still be good. This is where you would most likely have to become a bit more proactive in getting food, get your inner hunter skills wherever they may be intact as you'll have to in order to survive. The hardest part is that there may be days that you go without a meal in these troubling days. Of course, you would still be able to occasionally come across a house or a warehouse with plenty of food but then you would have to learn how to ration it and not eat it all at once. That, in itself can become the most difficult thing to do. If you go too long without a meal, then you most certainly will become a meal for the walking dead.

Rule #4: Strength in Numbers

In any kind of apocalyptic world you can expect this. If your alone, your obviously more inclined to blend into the shadows but loneliness could drive you insane and more importantly to your untimely death. With strength in numbers your sanity won't take as bad of a hit and of course it is nice to know other people have your back in such a horrible situation. The rules above become much easier with more friends fighting the undead by your side as they will also want the same things as you. Going out and finding food or supplies with others won't be as daunting of a task as it was by yourself. So when the dead start rising out of their graves, best find your buddies and load up.

Rule #5: Avoid Populated Areas

You may be laughing at how stupid this may sound, and if you are one of those people then go ahead and give yourself a pat on the back. Your one step ahead of the game and I'd welcome you to my group of zombie apocalypse survivors. Highly populated areas are an awful area to be in during a zombie apocalypse because they have a propensity to have the most undead in that area. I don't think anyone would want to be walking the desolate, abandoned streets of a major city and turn the corner to find yourself faced with a massive horde of zombies. it is a no bueno situation for everyone, just ask Rick Grimes. It is an illogical thought to even seek highly populated area, and the people that think it is a good idea will in short time become another member of the zombie population.

Rule #6: Adequate Shelter

Now, that picture to the right is an ideal setup, but good look getting to it in the midst of a zombie apocalypse. The other issue is say you run out of food and supplies, then you are in a whole other world of hurt. Shelter is an essential thing to surviving in the long run as it is security that can keep you away from the undead and being a new member of the undead. Spots to look out for as potential long term places of shelter would be housing on water and potentially underground. Your choices of shelter will obviously be narrowed down considering where you will be when the zombies attack in large numbers, so don't fret if you end up stuck in your attic. As long as you are in a secure position that is locked down fairly well, you should be okay. The other thing you should be mindful of is your noise level, if you are at all loud you better believe that zombies will hear you. That would be another no bueno situation that you would want no part of.

The Zombie Apocalypse isn't all that bad...this proves that theory


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    • Dominique L profile image

      Dominique L 5 years ago from Oregon

      Useful, yes. But I still say your best bet is to give in to the dark side and just get bit... ;)

      Loved the Hub. Nickalooch!

    • Lamar Johns profile image

      Lamar Johns 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Hmmmmmm.... perhaps I should start rethinking my zombie apocalypse survival plan. Good thing I live in a densely populated area. i guess the only downside is that I need to travel a great distance to get the necessities if I don't already have them.