Being Pregnant ( Real Story )
This is not the story of me being pregnant, but of my girlfriend at the time.
I was friends with a a girl from school. We shared friends and became closer. We started dating when we were sixteen and seventeen, and we started to have sex a while later. We were very happy together. We were never so much in love - I do not think we intended to date forever. But we were happy that we were a couple.
One day, I got a call from her. So much crying. She said, “I am pregnant.”
I was shocked
I was shocked. I didn’t know how to react. I asked her, “Are you sure?”, again and again. She took more tests, which her older (married) sister bought for her, as she was too ashamed.
She did not want an abortion. I remember going to bed and my head spinning, thinking of my life with the baby. I was not a responsible teen, but I felt like everything in my life was falling. I know now she felt so, too..
It was horrible to tell my mother. I felt so angry, so ashamed, not for us, but for my mother. She was so cruel to my girlfriend - she called her a whore, and that she was trying to trap me. My girlfriend’s parents were more upset. They threatened to remove her from the house. She left willingly to live with her sister. She cried often to me about this.
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We learned she was pregnant quite early. From then, my head was always nervous. But at one point, something inside me has changed. As much as it scared me to think of a baby, I had so much nervous energy, some positive. I was not just terrified, I was excited to think of my child. I could see that her mind, too, changed.
At that time in my life, I smoked a lot of pot. I stopped that quite quickly. I had a job, and I took more and more hours. Eventually, my girlfriend could no longer stay with her sister, and so my brother let us live with him. He was kind, and said that when I had enough money to provide, he would move out. I graduated, she was still in school. I was eighteen now, I worked forty hours a week and then some more work for cash, painting houses. I saved every cent.
We waited. We grew closer, because of the pain from our families and the excitement of the child. She felt happier because I was more responsible, I didn’t smoke or drink and worked hard.
She felt happier
We bought things for the baby. We set up our room in my brother’s apartment as a nursery. We painted the walls, we bought a crib from a neighbor. We accepted the change that was to happen in our lives.
At work one day, when she was six months pregnant, I got another call. The baby was gone. My girlfriend would not speak to me. I ran to the hospital, and they said, it is sad, but you are lucky. Your girlfriend is still in school, you are so young. You are lucky.
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My mother felt lucky. Her parents as well. They accepted her back, but she did not let them give her love. I know her heart was broken, by her parents first and now the baby.
We broke up, soon after that. She finished school, graduated, went to university. She is now in a life that would maybe not have been possible with a young child. So am I. But never, ever did I consider us lucky, that we did not end up young parents. It has been some time, and I believe her heart has recovered, and so has mine, but never completely. I still mourn that baby, always.
I hope people will understand what I am saying - that when it feels as though your life is over, it will go on, you will grow, and you will be happy again.