The Funeral : Recalling a Day of Tremendous Loss

Through the years, my family and I have had to say good-bye to a lot of loved ones; some elderly, some not that old, and some just too young to die.

I admit, after we laid my cousin Garth to rest in 1984 when he was merely 14 years of age, I,myself, only a year behind him in age that year, the funeral processions started taking a toll on me. There have been more than a few that I mustered up the courage to attend just the wake but not the funeral, the only exception being my loving young niece's funeral back in December 2013.

I always feel guilty about this, today is no exception as my family is now at another Uncle's memorial service as I write this. I would have liked to have gone to support my Aunt. However, this poem, I hope, will shine the light on my apprehensions when it comes to funerals. I think those who have lost loved ones may relate to my poem.

I want to acknowledge my niece Jessica, as it was her funeral that I replayed these memories from. I love you Jessie! Be waiting for me...

Please take the time and listen to the music videos as well. All three are beautiful songs with meaningful lyrics. Peace and Love. ~Missy

Two white doors open up

and in an instant, my blood

starts to rush.

The colors outside fast turn

to gray, sorrowful stares are

looking my way.

Death is here; it fills this space,

and the smell of condolences I

can hardly take.

In slow motion I walk the church

aisle, not looking up can I be in

denial...

I need someone quickly to

hold me steady. I feel as if

my legs may turn to jelly.

I now stand by a marble

box, that holds a body of

a loved one lost.

The shell of a person who

used to be here; a beautiful

song of hope and cheer.

I tell myself they are just asleep,

I nervously stroke their pale

stiffened cheek.

Backing up I fall in my seat

the preacher begins the

eulogy.

What happened? I feel such

delusion. I'm now standing at

the grave site with complete

confusion.

I watch as they lower her in

the ground, a bevy of blood-red

roses falling behind.

Today, I woke up; I felt numb

but alive. Although, it seems

another part of me too

has died.