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Disdained

Updated on July 1, 2017

I am wasting more time since my last bottle of Gin

I’ve been counting stars wrong as my vision’s still bleak.

I trigger my emotions, I console myself,

Little by little, it makes no sense.

I’ve been drowning too much, in the salt water I’ve trusted

And it feels like I’m losing myself as hardship converges.


I used to like the blue hat that my father once bought me

But the storm took it away and there’s no memory.

My grandmothers promise ring was mine to give out

But I chose the wrong finger and it quivered my trust.

My mother’s last meal was shrimp on a grill

But I anguished my anger and she calmly went to sleep.

My grandfather told me never to hide my feelings,

Once I opened up, there were no words that consoled me.

My uncle would buy me video games and I played like a kid

But small packs of intoxication, put him to sleep.

The one person whom I loved I can never see,

Is the man as a father who loved no one more than me.

I was taught to give love and I loved wholeheartedly

In return I was abandoned by love and lived with misery.


I mourned the day my best friend died,

She was young and full of life.

I still recall her; remembering our last fight

She wouldn’t talk, and I didn’t try.

Never will I ever be able to ask for forgiveness

But I’ll write her a letter,

To the sky where she resides,

In the hope that she gets it, and accepts my respite.


Dear heathens, sing me a lullaby,

The loudest of them all,

My dry lungs are filled with disgust,

And I want to rest for a while.

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