Screaming Myself Back To Life

The greatest thing I have found by writing poetry is that it helps me bare my soul. It releases all thoughts in my mind that is hard to express otherwise. It beautifully shows the world my vulnerabilities.

However, sometimes my mind seems to drift off more than stay focused. I'm not sure this is a bad thing. Although, it can become a little annoying when daily life needs my attention, and I can't seem to get that rhyme about death or sunset out of my head.

When I know I should relax and turn off my inner creativity; ideas come to me. They come to me at times when that is exactly what I am trying to do; clear my mind.

Yesterday, while taking a hot bath after a long day, wouldn't you know it, an idea popped up in my head. Laying there, my mind started thinking about my favorite poets from the past and what I have in common with them. Mostly, I thought about Sylvia Plath, who I believe I may have the most in common with. Just because I know life tortured her thoughts. She, like I, found it difficult to detach from her emotions past and present. I remember her most famous quote: "If I didn't think, I would be much happier."

I, too, sympathize with Sylvia in that thought. Sometimes, I feel like I can't escape all the things I've dealt with in life, making me a little depressed and sad sometimes.

As I kept thinking, I also thought of Ernest Hemingway. I think, or I hope, I have a bit of his writing technique. He has been a straightforward writer who didn't dally with those long, drawn-out lines; instead, he was straight to the point with his short sentences. I wouldn't say I like to linger. I try to make a point and then continue to the next.

Like many other writers, including Sylvia Plath, Ernest had his inner demons he could not seem to get rid of, and as I kept thinking of others, I realized this seems to be some theme with writers, including myself.

No, I'm not saying that all writers become hopelessly lost and depressed in life, but I would be willing to bet our mental state may be what carries us to the paper and pen often.

I thought about all these things while having what should have been just a bath of meditation, and ideas started coming to me, like how I deal with my internal demons and my inner struggles with life. I couldn't help but wonder if these other famous poets could have possibly fought them out as I do. I asked myself, Would I, too, become so tired of fighting that I give in one day? Would my thoughts override my ability to live sanely?

Channeling all these thoughts and my own emotions, I put this poetry piece together. I wrote as I thought them. I "shouted" the words in my head; they were an awakening. They were a fight. Explaining that, these poems do have a lot of exclamation points and probably a harsh line or two. It is continuing poetry about rallying through my own negative thoughts to stay balanced. As much as I respect every word of the writers I've mentioned and believe I have some similarities. This is my Journey! I do not want to have the same final fate.

You cry it all out

then let it go! Listen to

your inner voice when

it tells you so!

Stop giving into

loneliness, she Is not

your friend! She will

keep you wanting that

stupid love thing

to the bitter end!

Unshackle your mind

and especially your heart,

stop making excuses

for those who tear

your world apart!

You know the game;

you've played it

before. Bitch, wake

back up, and

Start keeping score!

Return to your reality

of common sense, it isn’t

worth all this fear and

Doubt that linger within!

Clinging and choking

from what little life is left!

Get up, wake up, rebirth

yourself!

You look so silly

and really quite meek,

Stop playing the fool

for the whole

world to see!

Hear me when I

scream at you, that you

are better than this!

Pick up your pride

And kiss weakness

good-bye!

Seek your truth

within your soul, you

know it’s there find

it and don’t let go!

Let it guide you out

of self-destruction,

and renew your senses

with fight and Intent,

never let another man

make you resent!

Remember your spirit

is not mixed with Colors

of pink and green!

These colors only consist of

weak and feeble things!

You keep drowning

yourself in grey waters

of self-pity and suppression!

Good Grief, just find your

existence!

Stop letting yourself get

beat black and blue!

You are not this fake

person; you are truest of true!

You are, in fact,

a poet in motion!

You put down on paper

your tortured emotions!

I understand most writers

seem to be givers of love in

such a way that they

get used up!

However, you must

grasp this one true

fact; you are not

like Virginia Woolf

or Sylvia Plath!

They may be your

heroes in the writing

world, but remember

you're stronger than them!

You were born to show

this world you will not just

give up and disappear!!!