Forgetting You Again
It should come easier and quicker since repeated so many times. Tuck the memories back into the crevices, fold up poems written, letters penned and never sent. Take out my present life and look hard in the mirror. Touch the memories and find some are more yellowed and brittle than the paper that holds their story. Come fully into reality and live with gratitude and love forgetting what I’ve made into a fairy tale.
I will, I promise, but, just for now …
Walk down the lane with me one more time, hold my hand and lead me into the day so perfect there is no temperature to notice and even the sky can not compete with your eyes. Stay with me in the moment, so fragile the sound of a dragonfly’s wing could shatter, but so strong it is still here after uncountable other memories have crowded in, vying for their own place in my heart. Share with me, as only you can, the flood of emotion that drew us along into a fabricated wonderland of timeless bliss that required nothing of us but just to be present.
I knew then I could love you forever but there wasn’t time to measure what forever really meant. I knew I could lie in your arms never needing to leave, always feeling your breath on my neck and your lips on my shoulders. My hands trailed through your hair holding your head in my grasp as I brought life to your body with slow lingering kisses wherever my lips carried me.
Passion? The word does little justice. Why not say there are many grains of sand on the beach and the ocean is deep? Yes, we had passion for each other. It would spark and arc across a room full of people like lightening striking in a sudden summer storm.
Need? I know the only time I felt fully alive was when we were there, in our world. I know from the smile that would creep across your face and into your eyes when you saw me and from your laughter that came up deep from a place, almost dried up, that you felt it too. Yes, we needed each other.
Love? Now that is subjective I suppose to the time and circumstance. It felt like love though it never had to stand the test of time. It warmed like love but was not challenged by cold reality, not then anyway, not when we were in our haven of us.
So, I must get about the business of forgetting you again. Do you forget me too, as often ... or did you do it once and then it was finished, mixed with other memories and other times of pleasure that floated away from you, simply a passing cloud in a brilliant sky?