poetry from a non-poet

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  1. apricot profile image74
    apricotposted 8 years ago

    Hello,
    I'm being a bit bold asking this but I'm a non-poet who has written a little poem on battery farming and wondered if anyone would be interested in reading it (I hope I'm allowed to ask - if not please forgive me). 
    Of course, it's of the quality you might expect from a novice but I was interested in anyone's thoughts and if there are any real poets out there I'd be interested in reading their work and seeing how it's really done. 
    Like I say, I hope I'm not breaking any rules here only I can't seem to track any poetry down on this site.  As I say, I'm not a poet myself though. 
    Sorry to go on...that's all.

    1. Paraglider profile image93
      Paragliderposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      It's fine. What you've done is choose an angle (the repentant hen) and followed it through. That's more effective than any straight telling of the evils of battery farming would be.

      1. apricot profile image74
        apricotposted 8 years agoin reply to this

        Thanks for taking the time!  I'm not sure on the title though - in fact it was a question I wanted to put forward - does anyone have any tips or picking good titles?  Maybe someone's written a hub on it?

  2. profile image0
    poetlorraineposted 8 years ago

    far from a real poet, i will go and take a look

  3. EYEAM4ANARCHY profile image82
    EYEAM4ANARCHYposted 8 years ago

    I'm no expert in poetry, but if I was going to give you one bit of advice it would be that it's okay not to rhyme. It seems a little forced and I think your poem would flow better without it.

    1. apricot profile image74
      apricotposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Yeah, I see what you mean.  You see, I wrote the original when I was nine and at the start I sort of wanted to recreate it- I might work on a non rhyming 2009 version but then again....I'm not a big one for writing poetry!  Thanks for everyone's help - very much appreciated!

  4. QuirkyPearl profile image57
    QuirkyPearlposted 8 years ago

    Left you a comment.

  5. profile image0
    poetlorraineposted 8 years ago

    poems that rhyme or o.k. just not modern.....  i think it matters more what you think about it...... If it is only a start, it is brilliant, you could use what you have written as a basis for writing a non rhyming one.   Your feelings may come through better.  I have to say i think you did a really good job, and if you like writing in tha style, keep doing it,  The good think about poetry is you can do whatever you like.  For ever 30 people who don't particularly like the style there will be 30 who do.   That is my opinion, it is brilliant for a first attempt.  Loved the subject matter too

    1. apricot profile image74
      apricotposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Oh thank you poetlorraine!  I feel so flattered and you're Irish as well!!! (you are, aren't you?)You've all got poetry running through your veins!!

      1. apricot profile image74
        apricotposted 8 years agoin reply to this

        Hang on!  I've just been looking through your profile - where on earth did I get the idea you were Irish?  Perhaps I just assumed it because you have 'poet' on your name..?  You mentioned you lived in Liverpool though but I gather you're not Liverpudlian or am I wrong?  (excuse all the questions - tell me to go away if I'm being invasive)

  6. profile image0
    poetlorraineposted 8 years ago

    I live in Ireland am originally from Manchester,married someone from Liverpool, and lived there for a while, i am a mix...... No Irish blood in me as far as i know......

    1. apricot profile image74
      apricotposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      ah, but you're a poet - so there must be!

  7. profile image0
    ralwusposted 8 years ago

    I hate poetry

    1. apricot profile image74
      apricotposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      !!!!  But you look like you might be poetic!!  (I did enjoy your profile by the way!!)

 
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