from The Curvature of Certainty / Return Curve
Return Curve, Real Time
I first met you at that music festival in the Forest of Dean. I had that spoofy church stand up routine mixed with a sort of skanked up blues musical act. I never got very many groupies, but, always the optimist, I spotted you in the audience, drawn first by your long legs, then by your hypnotic eyes.
That night you and your friend came and stayed in my hippy van. You and I became friends but I was too stupid, too caught up in hurricanes, to appreciate what I had stumbled across.
I was trapped in other currents when your mum lay dying. I forsook you, and yet, we stayed connected. Postcards and phone calls here and there, and later, sporadic emails. We occasionally passed each other at the festivals, always mis-timed, always out of synch.
Then, much later, you dawned on me again like a new day, like a slow realisation, like the slow returning curve of a certainty.
You swept in with your total love. Wrapped in stresses and anxieties, you crept back into my life. I had no business deserving you.
Your love is unwavering. It's intensity is convinced and convincing. I'm engulfed and overwhelmed by it. I am cured by it, even though I'm sure you must be mistaken.
You brought luck into my life; beneficial coincidence, positive serendipity. You trigger happy events. You brought your sunshine child who keeps teaching me so much.
And, even though I was largely uncertain and it made no rational sense at all, you brought me another life....
"Il y a longtemps que je t’aime
Jamais je ne t’oublirais....."
- Robert Farnon