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gabriel blow your horn
Poor Magdelena... that is what her family always referred to the beautiful gentle angel full of love who now was forced to marry and procreate with the demon spawned, Lucifer himself, and now was busy with two little demons. Not just a description of their character, but in truth, actual demons. And the kind, gentle never had a bad word to say about anybody woman was ready to pull out every strand of her beautiful blond hair. Her gorgeous nails had been chewed down to the bone. Her beautiful teeth ground almost even from clenching her jaw, her tongue bloody and bruised from biting it, to hold in her angst, Her.....Well, you get the picture. She would always say, "At least they are healthy."
But to the world around the boys, they were DEMONS!!!!! and no help for it.
You see, the oldest, Damien, was the eternal, gloom and doom, somebody had spit in his cornflake, boxers in a bind, eyor from winnie the pooh had nothing on him, kind of guy. Yeah... he was the eternal pessimist. If there was a rainbow, Damien would be the first to say the pot of gold had to be fake. Yup... and he was the oldest, to boot.
Now, the younger child, Gabriel, was the exact opposite, Yes. Silver lining to everything, if it rained, he would smile, if it was sunny, he would smile, if it hailed, he would smile, if a flood came, he smiled.... I mean after all, now he would have an opportunity to swim. Yes, Young Gabriel was always smiling...And when he was not smiling? He was blowing his horn. Happy little tunes. Night or day, rain or shine, Garbriel would blow his horn.
One day, as Magdelena was hanging her laundry out on the line, her kindly, elder sister came up to her.
"Ah, Magdelena, How are you holding up to your two demons?"
Magdelena stiffened. "You mean my children?"
"Yes. Look we worry about you. Why don't you send them back to hell, instead of slaving away here in purgatory. You would be much happier."
Magdelena tried once again to see her sister in a good light, but the boys had fought over everything and anything this moning and she had had enough.
"You want me to abandon my children?"
"In a few words, Yes."
"Go to h..e.. double hockey sticks, Megan."
"And with that attitude of yours, Magdelena, that is why you are here...." her sister paused. "Look, this is a card for a psychiatrist. Maybe he can help you since we, apparently, can't." And left.
Magdelena, with the laundry folded and put away, heard for the fourth time in the last five minutes from Damien.
"Mom, you know I hate stiff clothes and when you line dry them, they just are stiff." Unfolding half of the put away clothes, to demonstrate to her, but leaving the clean clothes all over the place.
"Mom, I just love the smell of line dried clothes. They smell so fresh." Gabriel was so happy, he belted out a chorus of three blind mice with his horn, after he had spread his fresh smelling clothes all over the room so it could smell nice too.
Magdelena did not think twice, she grabbed the cell phone and called the psychiatrist. She told him of her woes and he said, "no problem, bring them over tomorrow around ten am."
Now she and the boys arrived at the psychiatrist's office and were ushered in.
"Leave Damien and Gabriel to me. go take a seat in the balcony so you may observe."
With that, Magdelena excused herself.
"Come with me, Damien."
Damien looked doubtful, but his mom had promise something good would happen if he cooperated and although he knew nothing good would ever come of this, he complied.
Damien was led into a room with every toy known to man, angel or demon. Trains, video games, board games, stuffed animals, etc, etc... You get the picture.
The psychiatrist said, "You have an hour."
He then left and took Gabriel, still playing his horn to another room.
It was filled with horse poop. If i could spell the other word I would but let's just go to the vernacular, shall we? The room was filled almost to the ceiling with horse doo doo..
He left the child there, telling Gabriel, "I will return in an hour."
An hour passed and the psychiatrist had Magdelena in hand, they headed into the toy room first.
There sat Damien in the middle of room crying.
"Why are you crying?" asked the psychiatrist.
"Ah, this one will break if I touch it. I really hate stuffed animals. I mean, who could love lifeless stupid stuffed animals, Animals don't look like this." Pointing to a stuffed teddy bear, then he continued..
"Board games require more than one person to play them. The batteries will just run down if I play with the video games" the tirade just kept going. So the pychiatrist just shook his head and took the mother to the other room.
Gabriel had dissappeared, BUT horse poop was flying around the room.
Magdelena was worried, "Gabriel, where are you?"
"Right here Mommy."
With that, they followed the voice and found said son.
"What in the world are you doing?"
Gabriel smiled. "I am digging."
"I can see that... but what for?"
"With all this horse poo, there has to be a pony here somewhere."
The psychiatrist looked appalled and pulled the mother back out of the room, saying, "You poor woman," he paused, "One is completely Yang and the other completely Ying." then continued, "One is completely bad and the other completely good. One is an absolute pessimist and the other an absolute optimist." He took a breath to continue.
"ENOUGH." Magdelena said, "Tell me something I don't know. i am taking them home." Both boys in hand Magdelena smiled to herself all the way home. Her children were hers. that was all that mattered.
(This was based on an old joke I heard somewhere back in the seventies, hope you like it.)