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Why the Neighbours Don't Visit

Updated on April 26, 2013

‘Fssst.’

I looked up from my computer, narrowed my eyes and waited. Silence. I shook my head and returned to my typing.

‘Fssst.’

This time I rose from my seat and walked towards the source of the sound.

‘Fssst.’

My husband was standing at the doorway that led to our garden. The sound had apparently been emanating from him. Either he was trying to scare something off, or he had developed a slow leak. Had this been a normal household, I would have opted for the former. But ours was not a normal household so I couldn’t rule anything out. I thought it best to make enquiries first.

‘Whatcha doing,’ I asked brightly.

‘Those bloody cats from next door,’ he said peevishly, ‘are digging in our garden. I only just had that new turf laid down two weeks ago, and they’re ruining it. I didn’t spend all that money so they could use it as a toilet.’

Source

Our next-door neighbours had two adventurous cats who often visited us. My daughters and I may have encouraged their penchant for stopping over by playing with and fussing over them. But nothing’s definite. After all, who can truly say what goes on in the mind of the inscrutable feline.

I knew that their people kept a covered litter box in their garden, so I found it hard to believe they would be using our backyard for their business.

‘They’ve never done that before,’ I remarked. ‘Are you sure?’

‘I saw them myself digging by the fence there.’ He pointed towards the far corner of the yard where the fences formed a corner.

‘Strange.’ I replied. My husband looked at me, unsure if I was referring to his or the cats’ behaviour. I smiled and returned to my work.

Source

The following Sunday morning, I was pulled gently from my sleep by soft sunlight slowly illuminating our bedroom. I stretched luxuriously, rose and meandered towards the slightly-opened bedroom window where a light breeze blew in the heady, early dawn scent of farms and spring flowers. While delighting in the tranquillity, I noticed out of the corner of my eye movement in the garden. The kitties were in our yard again. They were clawing at the turf just like my husband had said. But something was amiss. The cats pawed at the ground, stopped, and gazed intently at the fresh earth, bodies coiled tightly, ready to pounce. The cats weren't relieving themselves. They were on the hunt. I woke my husband and explained what the cats were actually up to.

‘They’re after something in our yard. Maybe a mouse or a rat. Oh God, please don’t let it be a rat. I hate rats,’ I said, now uneasy at the thought of rats in our garden.

‘Fssst!’

My husband was at the window shooing the cats away. ‘Right then,’ he said,’ let’s see what so interesting.’ With that, he threw a bathrobe over his T-shirt and shorts and went downstairs. I followed in hot pursuit insisting, no, demanding that he leave the robe behind.

I suppose I should explain that my husband does not own a bathrobe. The robe he had so impetuously grabbed and threw on like a superhero’s cape belonged to me. He stands 5’10” while I barely reach 5’5” so you can imagine it wasn’t a good fit for him. In addition, the fuchsia and purple colour combination did absolutely nothing to bring out his baby-blue eyes.

My husband wasn’t giving up the bathrobe, so I returned to our room to change. I then went downstairs and found him in the garden investigating the scene of the crime. I left him to it, turned on the computer and began sorting through the emails. Ten minutes later, he delivered his verdict. We had been invaded by a mole.

‘So...not a rat then,’ I said relieved.

Had this been a normal household, pest control would have been called to remove the little squatter. But ours is not a normal household. My husband wanted the vermin gone NOW.

He poked around in my collection of garden tools and pulled out a small trowel. Suitably armed and still clad in my dressing gown, he sat cross-legged on the grass, trowel in hand, and waited for the mole to appear.

Source

Ever the supportive wife I said, ‘I’ll put the kettle on, shall I? Would you care for a cuppa?’ He nodded his assent and off I went.

With the emails taken care of, I made a second cup of coffee and sat at my desk observing my husband through the window as he attempted to dislodge the mole.

Twenty minutes later, the Great White Hunter left his post. He walked past me muttering, ‘I need to get the big guns,’ and walked out our front door.

‘Big guns,’ I wondered to myself. ‘What is that man on about?’

As my husband crossed the driveway towards the garage, a new neighbour spotted him and began waving a greeting. He stopped mid-way and just stared. I think the sight of a nearly six-foot tall man dressed in a too small woman’s dressing gown made him reconsider wanting to associate with us. (sigh) I told my husband those colours didn’t suit him. He’s more a Fall than a Winter palette.

Returning from the garage, shovel in hand, the Mighty Huntsman resumed his station and began digging in earnest with the shovel trying to flush out the invader. I continued my vigil indoors, marvelling at the fact that I was married to this man.

Without warning, he raised the shovel and brought it down upon the freshly-turned earth. He then rushed into the house and up the stairs and confiscated a shoebox from my closet. (My shoes!) Entering the garden once again, he scooped something into the box and approached me in triumph.

‘I got him,’ he exalted. He lifted the lid of the box and showed me his prize. I peeked in and nearly cried. Inside, lying, very still, was what looked like a little black sausage with glossy black fur.

‘Is that it?’ I asked. ‘Oh my God, what did you do to it?’ I asked my voice rising in alarm.

‘I hit it over the head with the shovel.’

‘You did what!? He’s just a little animal. Is he dead? Did you kill it? How could you?!’ By now I was near tears as I can’t bear to see any animal hurt.

‘No, he’s not dead. He’s just got a headache.’

I examined the creature closely and, to my relief, I could see his tiny sides rising up and down.

‘What are you going to do with him?’

I’m going to take him to the farmers’ fields and turn him loose there.’

He put the lid back on the box, placed it on the kitchen counter and returned to our room to change. In the meantime, I carefully cut some air holes into the lid of the box, all the while talking to the dazed creature in comforting tones.

After releasing the little critter, my husband remarked, ‘I’ll give the little guy his due, he can dig. I barely got him out of the box, and he disappeared in seconds into the ground.’

‘If I had just woken up,’ I said, ‘from having my head bashed in and saw the person responsible for said bashing hovering over me, I also would want to put as much distance between him and me as quickly as possible.’

My husband spent the remainder of the morning repairing his damaged turf. As he toiled away, I wondered if he realised that he had caused more destruction to the yard than the mole had.

‘You do realise,’ I said to him, ‘this is why the neighbours don’t visit.’



© 2013 Ms. Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon

Have You Ever Been Visited by Moles?

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    • phoenix2327 profile image
      Author

      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 9 months ago from United Kingdom

      Shyron, thank you for stopping by. Please do write about the Raccoon. I'd love to read it.

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 9 months ago from Texas

      Zulma, I love it, we have moles they drive me crazy, I give them chewing gum and we had a ground hog once that was very funny except it shredded the hood insulation in my car, then your story reminded me of the Raccoon, I should write about that.

      Blessings

    • phoenix2327 profile image
      Author

      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 10 months ago from United Kingdom

      Thank you, Nell. With all the positive feedback I've received, I wonder if I shouldn't do a complete rewrite and try to flog it to a women's magazine?

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 10 months ago from England

      lol! just imagining that gown! and poor little thing! being whacked on the head! great story! lol!

    • phoenix2327 profile image
      Author

      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 11 months ago from United Kingdom

      Thank you, norlawrence, for stopping in. I'm pleased you enjoyed it.

    • norlawrence profile image

      Norma Lawrence 11 months ago from California

      Fabulous story. I loved it. Glad you got him out of your yard and to a new home. Thanks.

    • phoenix2327 profile image
      Author

      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 16 months ago from United Kingdom

      Confident...sure, why not. I'll have to tell him that.

      Seriously, I think he was just so hell-bent on getting the critter he would have walked out there naked if nothing else was available.

      Thanks for the visit, PAINTDRIPS.

    • PAINTDRIPS profile image

      Denise McGill 16 months ago from Fresno CA

      Hysterical! I loved it. We had similar situations with gophers. They drive the dogs crazy. I loved the robe. Your husband must be a very confident person to pull off that ensemble.

    • phoenix2327 profile image
      Author

      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 17 months ago from United Kingdom

      Hilarious...yes, that sums it up pretty well. :D With a house full of free spirits, mornings like this are par for the course around here.

      Thank you so much, aesta1, for stopping by.

    • aesta1 profile image

      Mary Norton 18 months ago from Ontario, Canada

      What a morning that must have been for you. Seeing your husband in your robe must have been so hilarious.

    • phoenix2327 profile image
      Author

      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 19 months ago from United Kingdom

      Thank you, Brian. I'll look into that.

    • B. Leekley profile image

      Brian Leekley 19 months ago from Kalamazoo, Michigan, USA

      Zulma, Wodehouse (1881-1975) was an Englishman who moved to the USA. He wrote silly, light fiction about a wealthy young Englishman and his brainy butler Jeeves. Wodehouse was a master of style. To read some of his books online, Google on: wodehouse jeeves pdf

    • phoenix2327 profile image
      Author

      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 19 months ago from United Kingdom

      P.G. Wodehouse? I've heard the name but have never read anything by him. I'll have to check him out.

      Thanks for dropping in and I'm glad you enjoyed this.

    • B. Leekley profile image

      Brian Leekley 19 months ago from Kalamazoo, Michigan, USA

      Delightful writing. Reminds me of P. G. Wodehouse.

    • phoenix2327 profile image
      Author

      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 21 months ago from United Kingdom

      Thank you, Venkatachari M, I'm glad you like it. I also appreciate your taking the time to drop in.

    • Venkatachari M profile image

      Venkatachari M 21 months ago from Hyderabad, India

      Very much funny and interesting story. Enjoyed a lot. You have done it very well.

    • phoenix2327 profile image
      Author

      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 22 months ago from United Kingdom

      Thank you for stopping by Nell. I appreciate your visit and I'm glad you enjoyed it so. Sound like you and yours? I bet you've got some great stories to tell. lol. Thanks again and I'll see you on your next hub. :)

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 22 months ago from England

      LOL! 'He’s more a Fall than a Winter palette'! oh my.....LOLOLO! by that time I was laughing so hard! funny stuff, and oh my goodness you sound like me and mine!

    • phoenix2327 profile image
      Author

      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 2 years ago from United Kingdom

      Hello Stella. Thanks for stopping by and I'm glad you enjoyed your visit. I'm glad I could give you a laugh to get you through your day. :)

    • ladyguitarpicker profile image

      stella vadakin 2 years ago from 3460NW 50 St Bell, Fl32619

      Hi phoenix2327, I thought I would visit your hub and enjoyed it very much. Your story gave me a nice laugh and was interesting. Stella

    • phoenix2327 profile image
      Author

      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 2 years ago from United Kingdom

      Thank you, Jodah, I appreciate your visit. Glad you enjoyed the story. I suppose he might have appeared scary to someone else. To me...well, it was just another day in Paradise. lol

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Hi phoenix2327, this was a wonderful read...hilarious in fact. I felt sorry for the poor little mole. Your husband in your robe sounds rather scary, without being hit over the head by a shovel. Your writing is engaging. Voted up

    • phoenix2327 profile image
      Author

      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 2 years ago from United Kingdom

      I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I have been thoroughly negligent here. I'll go through some stories I started years ago and see if they are worth salvaging. I've also got to write a 1000-word 'shadows'-themed story and a 500-word composition (don't look back) for upcoming competitions for my writers' group. (I aim to get Writer of the Year) again. But you're right, I really need to get a move on.

      Glad you liked the story again, by the way.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      You've only written six hubs? I'm blown away by that fact. Get with it, lady!!!!!

      I read this for the second time and I howled again. I would have done the same thing. I would have destroyed half our yard to win that battle, and then kicked myself in the butt for years afterwards. LOL

    • phoenix2327 profile image
      Author

      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 2 years ago from United Kingdom

      Thanks for reading, MizBejabbers. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

      Yes the kitties did come back for the petting and fussing, but they never dug up the garden again.

    • MizBejabbers profile image

      MizBejabbers 2 years ago

      That was howlin' good. I laughed all the way through it except for when your husband clobbered the poor little mole. I'm glad he didn't kill it because I'm an animal lover, too. Now I'm wondering, did the cats come back?

    • phoenix2327 profile image
      Author

      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 2 years ago from United Kingdom

      Thanks for stopping, Lady Guinevere. We live near quite a few farms so maybe the little critter got lost on the way home.

    • Lady Guinevere profile image

      Debra Allen 2 years ago from West By God

      Poor little mole, he meant no harm. LOL I have lots of them in my yard as we live in the forest. I do not take care of them, My cats do.

    • phoenix2327 profile image
      Author

      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 2 years ago from United Kingdom

      Thank you, monia saad, for stopping by. I'm glad you liked my effort at humour.

    • monia saad profile image

      monia ben saad 2 years ago from In my Dream

      that's my first visit to your hubs so great one contain Awesome informations

      thank you for sharing

    • phoenix2327 profile image
      Author

      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 2 years ago from United Kingdom

      Thank you, Stephanie. Yes, my husband's cross-dressing antics has certainly brought a smile to a lot of people. After 25 years, he still brings a smile to mine. Bless him.

      Thanks for reading. I do appreciate it.

    • Stephanie Henkel profile image

      Stephanie Henkel 2 years ago from USA

      I did enjoy your tale of the invasion of a mole in your garden, and especially enjoyed envisioning your hubby in your dressing gown sitting there waiting for the mole to appear! Funny story! :)

    • phoenix2327 profile image
      Author

      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 2 years ago from United Kingdom

      Yes, Barbara Kay, I'm starting to believe I should have kept my mouth shut and let the kitties do their thing. Of course, then there would have been no story!

      Thanks for stopping by.

    • phoenix2327 profile image
      Author

      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 2 years ago from United Kingdom

      Believe me that mole didn't want to come out of his tunnel; the choice was made for him. lol

      I'm pleased you enjoyed the story and thanks for visiting, Mary615.

    • Barbara Kay profile image

      Barbara Badder 2 years ago from USA

      It sounds like it would have been better if he had the cats deal with the mole. Funny story!

    • mary615 profile image

      Mary Hyatt 2 years ago from Florida

      First, thanks so much for reading my Hub about my dog's spider bite. I think I would rather deal with moles than spiders, cause I could see the mole! We have moles here in Florida, too. They dig underground and tear up our sod, but I've never seen one come out of his tunnel.

      You told a great story, I enjoyed the read very much!

      Voted up, etc. and shared.

    • phoenix2327 profile image
      Author

      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 2 years ago from United Kingdom

      The cheeky thing. Makes me thankful we only had one mole to deal with instead of an entire family of gophers. Take care, MsLizzy.

    • DzyMsLizzy profile image

      Liz Elias 2 years ago from Oakley, CA

      LOL--No, he did not move on, and instead invited all his friends and relatives!! ;-) You have to really watch where you walk out in the back 40, lest you twist your ankle in a gopher hole!

    • phoenix2327 profile image
      Author

      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 2 years ago from United Kingdom

      Sorry about the almond tree, MsLizzy. I take it the gopher wasn't convinced to move on.

      Thanks for stopping. Enjoy your day.

    • phoenix2327 profile image
      Author

      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 2 years ago from United Kingdom

      I sure the little critters do, Adventuretravels, but I still hated to see him get walloped. Thanks for commenting.

    • phoenix2327 profile image
      Author

      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 2 years ago from United Kingdom

      Ha-ha. I think city folk would be more likely to overlook borderline demented behaviour than country folk. Such is life.

      Our house is now home to three grown children, a prospective son-in-law and three cats so yes, dull moments are few and far between.

      Thanks so much, JamaGenee, for stopping by. Much appreciated.

    • DzyMsLizzy profile image

      Liz Elias 2 years ago from Oakley, CA

      Had to chuckle. Glad the little fellow was okay in the end. We haven't had moles, but we do have "robo-gophers."

      We've tried everything short of traps and poison, because neither my husband or I like or believe in harming animals. Of any kind. They were here first.

      But, we did drown an almond tree trying to convince a gopher to relocate.

    • Adventuretravels profile image

      Giovanna Sanguinetti 2 years ago from London UK

      Moles cause a lot of damage to beautiful lawns! Great story!!

    • JamaGenee profile image

      Joanna McKenna 2 years ago from Central Oklahoma

      Zulma, I heartily agree with a previous comment about your writing style, that you have a talent for comedy! Your timing IS impeccable!

      That said, since England is well-known as the Land of Eccentrics, I can't imagine why the neighbors would be put off by a man in a two-small dressing gown whose colors don't bring out his blue-eyes! Oh right. As long as one dresses "properly" and maintains the Brit rules of decorum, neighbors will overlook "borderline demented" behavior!

      Clearly, life is never dull at your house, so to quote "David Copperfield": "More, please"!

      Upped and shared! ;D

    • phoenix2327 profile image
      Author

      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 3 years ago from United Kingdom

      @nighthag - Glad you enjoyed this. I never thought of that before but you're right; husbands really are more delightful. lol

      Thanks for stopping by. Love the comment.

    • nighthag profile image

      K.A.E Grove 3 years ago from Australia

      Such a fun read:) husbands really are more delightful then children at times

      I loved this, thanks for sharing this it brightened up my morning immensely

    • phoenix2327 profile image
      Author

      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 4 years ago from United Kingdom

      Indeed I am, Miss Elliott. It's been 23 years now. He's a sweetheart and he can still make me laugh. Thank you for stopping by and your lovely comment.

    • mylindaelliott profile image

      mylindaelliott 4 years ago from Louisiana

      Oh my, hilarious. And you're still married to the great white hunter? I'm so proud of you. lol

    • phoenix2327 profile image
      Author

      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 4 years ago from United Kingdom

      Hello, radhikasree. I'm so pleased you enjoyed my little tale. Thank you for stopping by and commenting. Have a lovely day.

    • radhikasree profile image

      Radhika Sreekanth 4 years ago from Mumbai,India

      The story had a nice moral to unveil. I read it completely with excitement at all points of climax it had.

    • Geniusknight profile image

      Nell 4 years ago from Netherlands

      Yes indeed ! :D

    • phoenix2327 profile image
      Author

      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 4 years ago from United Kingdom

      Hi, GK. Well, thank you again for stopping by. I hope you enjoyed as much the second time around. :)

    • Geniusknight profile image

      Nell 4 years ago from Netherlands

      Wow ! Now I have read your this hub twice ! :D

    • phoenix2327 profile image
      Author

      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 4 years ago from United Kingdom

      Thank you, JD. I appreciate your taking the time to read and comment.

    • JD Barlow profile image

      JD Barlow 4 years ago from Southeast US

      Wonderful hub!

    • phoenix2327 profile image
      Author

      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 4 years ago from United Kingdom

      @AudreyHowitt - Hello, Audrey, and welcome to my hub. lol

      Thank you so much for stopping by. I'm glad you enjoyed my little tale. I appreciate you taking to time to comment.

    • AudreyHowitt profile image

      Audrey Howitt 4 years ago from California

      This is a delightful hub!

    • phoenix2327 profile image
      Author

      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 4 years ago from United Kingdom

      @faythef - Hee-hee. Spiders seem to like my daughter; and she hates them. When she spots one and Dad isn't around, she'll put a cup over it with a note saying 'Spider' attached to it. (sigh) We're not a normal household.

      Thank you for taking the time to read and comment.

    • phoenix2327 profile image
      Author

      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 4 years ago from United Kingdom

      @FlourishAnyway - The poor creature was out cold for a few minutes. It must have hurt.

      Thanks for stopping by. I appreciate it.

    • phoenix2327 profile image
      Author

      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 4 years ago from United Kingdom

      @Suzie HQ - Hedgehogs? How did she avoid getting stuck by the quills? I would have thought that would've been a hint that hedgehogs are meant to be left alone. lol How bewildering it must be for the prickly, little critter.

      Thanks for visiting and commenting. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

    • faythef profile image

      Faythe F. 4 years ago from USA

      This was a really fun read....It reminds me much of my house , only its a spider web my husband is attacking as he goes for the newspaper.....

    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 4 years ago from USA

      Headache indeed! Dramatic and funny. I can picture it all.

    • Suzie HQ profile image

      Suzanne Ridgeway 4 years ago from Dublin, Ireland

      Hi phoenix,

      Great story, you have a gift for hooking us in right until the end. I have never been blessed with these little creatures to my knowledge even though I am now in the countryside but our dog has brought back hedgehogs on numerous night time walks! We have to keep telling her no, they are not her playmates, kids or for adopting and bring them back down the road! Enjoyed thoroughly and the vision of your hubby in your dressing gown sounds hilarious! voted up, funny, interesting!

    • phoenix2327 profile image
      Author

      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 4 years ago from United Kingdom

      Hello, Walter. So nice to see you.

      Thank you for stopping by and leaving such kind and amusing comments. I'm flattered that you think this good enough to 'appropriate' for use in your future writing. lol

    • WalterPoon profile image

      Poon Poi Ming 4 years ago from Malaysia

      Phoenix2327, I see a novelist writing a hub! Very interesting writing style you have. Gotta bookmark this to copy your style, LOL. Don't worry. I am not going to plagiarize it for another hub but it may well find its way into my first novel... that is if I manage to pull it through.

    • phoenix2327 profile image
      Author

      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 4 years ago from United Kingdom

      &Alexander Mark - Thanks for dropping by. Lovely to have you.

      I think it was cruel too. But you have a fair point: things need to be dealt with. I just wish my husband hadn't been so heavy-handed about.

      Thanks again for stopping in.

    • Alexander Mark profile image

      Alexander Silvius 4 years ago from beautiful, rainy, green Portland, Oregon

      I like how you kept us in suspense about what it was and what was going to happen. I too think it's a bit cruel to hurt an animal, but on the other hand, things do need to be dealt with. But if it was me, I would have let the cats take care of the little earth mover for sure. Great story and still a happy ending.

    • phoenix2327 profile image
      Author

      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 4 years ago from United Kingdom

      @phdast7 - Oh, thank you. That is really sweet.

      Commenting on your hubs is easy. They make me think so I respond to them.

      Thanks again for re-visiting.

    • phdast7 profile image

      Theresa Ast 4 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

      Came back for a second read. Enjoyed it again. :) Theresa

      And thank you for the nice comments you left on several of my hubs. :)

    • phoenix2327 profile image
      Author

      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 4 years ago from United Kingdom

      Thank you so much for taking the time, Bill. I do so appreciate it your comments.

      How serendipitous that I should email you on the day you published a hub on how to get published in a magazine. :)

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Where was I when this was published? How odd that I missed it. Anyway, I'm sending my critique in the email you requested. :)

    • phoenix2327 profile image
      Author

      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 4 years ago from United Kingdom

      @Elias Zanetti - Welcome to my hub. It's a pleasure to meet you.

      Good point about those movies. I remember those as well.

      Thank you for stopping in and appreciate your comments.

    • Elias Zanetti profile image

      Elias Zanetti 4 years ago from Athens, Greece

      Funny, well-written hub. I really enjoyed the imagery of your husband wearing your bathrobe :) I think, though, you should be happy with the outcome. Your story brought in mind, those kind of movies where a small, cunning creature wrecks havoc to the life of anyone who tries to capture it.

    • phoenix2327 profile image
      Author

      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 4 years ago from United Kingdom

      @Becky Katz - OMG, he so did not. :D

      I'm glad your dog was saved and I'm sure, with therapy, your neighbour will get past this. Oh, this is too funny. You should write about this.

      I appreciate your taking the time to visit and comment.

    • phoenix2327 profile image
      Author

      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 4 years ago from United Kingdom

      @wayne barrett - I'm so pleased you enjoyed my little piece. It's my first foray into humour. Thank you for your kind comments and for sharing. So appreciated.

    • Becky Katz profile image

      Becky Katz 4 years ago from Hereford, AZ

      At least your husband had his shorts and t-shirt on. My husband ran out in his birthday suit. OK, it WAS the middle of the night, and it WAS a coyote after my 12 year old dog. Dog escaped, the neighbor got mooned, and the coyote went hunting elsewhere that night. My neighbors don't come visit either. At least they don't come when he is here.

    • wayne barrett profile image

      Wayne Barrett 4 years ago from Clearwater Florida

      Oh, this was so refreshing to read. Very funny stuff, and very well written. I'm going to share this one my dear.

    • phoenix2327 profile image
      Author

      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 4 years ago from United Kingdom

      @Brett.Tesol - Good Morning, Brett. It's nice to see you again.

      I appreciate your critique and I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for the share and for stopping in.

    • Brett.Tesol profile image

      Brett Caulton 4 years ago from Thailand

      Up, funny and Awesome. This was a very fun read, I like the way you set the scene and describe the dynamic between you and your husband.

      Sharing to brighten some other members day

    • phoenix2327 profile image
      Author

      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 4 years ago from United Kingdom

      Hello, Hummingbird. Nice to meet you.

      I never thought of it that way but yes, I supposed he did overreact just a tad. lol

      Thanks for dropping by.

    • Hummingbird5356 profile image

      Hummingbird5356 4 years ago

      This is funny. I suppose it is people like your husband who "created the original mountain out of the molehill."

    • phoenix2327 profile image
      Author

      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 4 years ago from United Kingdom

      @RonElFran - Nice to see you, Sir. Yes, the kitties returned for their hugs and playtime. Just not when my husband was home. lol

      Thanks for taking the time to read this hub. It's my first attempt and humour and I'glad you enjoyed it.

    • RonElFran profile image

      Ronald E. Franklin 4 years ago from Mechanicsburg, PA

      Very engaging writing. I enjoyed reading. Did the neighbor's cats ever come back?

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      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 4 years ago from United Kingdom

      @moonlake - They actually come indoors? How cheeky. I can just picture your pup bouncing. I suppose that's why they're called Springer Spaniels. lol

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your story; very amusing. On, and, thanks for the vote.

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      moonlake 4 years ago from America

      We not only get visited by them in the garden but they make their way into the house sometimes. They don't last long in the house. In the winter they're under the snow and like to eat the trees trunks. Our Springer hears them and catches them if he can. He looks like a fool jumping up and down trying to catch moles. This Springer is not to smart about catching the moles but our other Springers had no problem and worked with the cats to catch moles outside. Funny story. Voted up.

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      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 4 years ago from United Kingdom

      @girishpuri - I appreciate your stopping by to read my story. I glad you enjoyed it and God bless you as well.

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      Girish puri 4 years ago from NCR , INDIA

      very interesting and fun read, God bless.

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      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 4 years ago from United Kingdom

      @SidKemp - Hi, Sid. Thanks for stopping. I just relayed your request for a photo or re-enactment to my husband. As soon as he stops staring at me as if I've lost my mind, I'm sure he'll reply.

      This could take awhile.

      Anyway, thanks again for reading and I'm pleased you enjoyed it. Enjoy your day.

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      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 4 years ago from United Kingdom

      @devisree - Nice to meet you and thank you for stopping in. I'm glad you liked my little offering.

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      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 4 years ago from United Kingdom

      @Lesleysherwood - I felt awful for that poor little mite. And yes, he is a typical bloke but I'm grateful he didn't kill it. Thank you for stopping by.

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      Sid Kemp 4 years ago from Boca Raton, Florida (near Miami and Palm Beach)

      Not sure how much of this is fact or fiction, but either way, highly amusing - in the very best sense. Thank you! I don't suppose you could add a photo of your husband in your dressing gown, or maybe a video re-enactment? :)

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      devisree 4 years ago from India

      Hi phoenix2327

      Interesting hub. Well written. Thanks for sharing .

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      Lesleysherwood 4 years ago

      This was awesome. Also, your husband is a typical bloke. I think if I were the poor little mite I would rather have been killed outright. All the trauma and pain and not knowing what was going to happen to me next. I would surely have ended up with panic attacks..

      ps.. I could hear a British accent in your writing. Weird that, esp if you're not British.

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      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 4 years ago from United Kingdom

      @Theater girl - Nice to meet you, Jennifer. Thank you for the kind comment and I'm glad you liked it.

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      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 4 years ago from United Kingdom

      @phdast7 - Thank you so much, Theresa. It's my first attempt at a humourous piece. It was a nice break from what I normally do.

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      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 4 years ago from United Kingdom

      @wetnosedogs - So am I. He really was quite cute.

      Thanks for reading.

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      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 4 years ago from United Kingdom

      @shiningirisheyes - Nature's creatures and I have an unwritten agreement. They stay on their side of the garden, I stay on mine and everybody gets along. Works for me.

      Thanks for the vote and share, SIE. It's most appreciated.

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      Jennifer 4 years ago from New Jersey

      This hooked me right away and had me chuckling out loud! Great!

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      Theresa Ast 4 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

      This was quite wonderful. You are a good writer and you have great comedic timing. Please write more. :) Sharing.

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      wetnosedogs 4 years ago from Alabama

      Glad the mole survived the bang on the head.

      Very funny and well written.