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Grief

Updated on August 15, 2009

I've lost a daughter.

She walked away

one day

without ever looking back.

This was inevitable,

its inception countless years ago.

And while she waited

for the perfect time

to carry out her plan,

the perfect moment to be free,

she sat and hoped

the unacceptable,

the intolerable word or phrase

would one day appear

and sweep her

away,

relieving her

of having to invent or

find a way.

And so it happened.

I ventured way too far into the truth

and spoke the unacceptable,

the intolerable.

It hovered in the air and then

exploded in a sudden

burst of tears.

It pushed against my heart

as sudden fear began

to travel cross

the room,

enveloping our beings 'til

we sat in utter silence

knowing

this was it,

the time when unacceptable,

the time when the intolerable was here.

Copyright © 2009 All rights reserved

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    • alekhouse profile image
      Author

      Nancy Hinchliff 7 years ago from Essex Junction, Vermont

      @ralwus: Charlie, I wrote this poem ten months ago. It was the first thing I published on HP. John was still here. Went to read some of your stuff and saw you had only two poems there. They're both really good. You ought to write more now, especially in the mood you're in. And thanks for the nice comment.

    • profile image

      ralwus 7 years ago

      You have come far my friend.

    • Nan Mynatt profile image

      Nan Mynatt 7 years ago from Illinois

      I enjoyed reading your poem. You are gifted and should persue writing poetry. I am a poet myself.

    • alekhouse profile image
      Author

      Nancy Hinchliff 8 years ago from Essex Junction, Vermont

      Yeah, I do feel a connection with you, Rose. And you're right about this site. it's a great place to be. To be able to express ourselves in any form we want and have honest feedback is awesome.

    • rosecobra profile image

      rosecobra 8 years ago

      I found it so touching. We all come together when it is right and not before,it's in the masterplan. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be here among all these wonderful people. Thank you for all the encouragement.

    • alekhouse profile image
      Author

      Nancy Hinchliff 8 years ago from Essex Junction, Vermont

      Thank you, Cris for the kind words. Yes, it was painful, but it was also a catharsis. Actually I have been letting go for a while, but writing this made it seem more real, and took me steps closer to acceptance.

    • Cris A profile image

      Cris A 8 years ago from Manila, Philippines

      alek

      some good things never last no matter how much we hold on to them. i know this is painful to write but i know too that it had to be let out. so thanks for sharing this journey

    • alekhouse profile image
      Author

      Nancy Hinchliff 8 years ago from Essex Junction, Vermont

      Oh CS,  what a lovely thing to say. Thank you.You actually brought me to tears. I believe it's true; that it will happen one day. Just don't want to force it.

    • C.S.Alexis profile image

      C.S.Alexis 8 years ago from NW Indiana

      This is the kind of pain that stops us in our tracks and you did the perfect job of expressing it...maybe someday the time and distance will make the amends just as perfect. You might not be able to regain what has past but with hope and faith and love you may be able to make a present and future that is as perfect as this poem. Best Regards

    • alekhouse profile image
      Author

      Nancy Hinchliff 8 years ago from Essex Junction, Vermont

      Yes, and it seems we never let go of the hope that we will regain whatever was lost, at some time or another. Thanks for the nice comment.

    • Mighty Mom profile image

      Susan Reid 8 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

      This is beautiful. Can be read on at least two distinct levels -- as parents, losing our children is always the scariest fear at every age.

    • alekhouse profile image
      Author

      Nancy Hinchliff 8 years ago from Essex Junction, Vermont

      Thanks, Brenda, appreciate the support. Glad you stopped by.

    • profile image

      \Brenda Scully 8 years ago

      Really enjoyed reading this poem, well done, and keep writing

    • alekhouse profile image
      Author

      Nancy Hinchliff 8 years ago from Essex Junction, Vermont

      Thanks, Benji for the kind words.

    • Benjimester profile image

      Benji Mester 8 years ago from San Diego, California

      Very vivid description. You tell a good story. Very engaging, especially considering the subject matter. Thanks for sharing things so close to your heart.

    • alekhouse profile image
      Author

      Nancy Hinchliff 8 years ago from Essex Junction, Vermont

      I take that as a compliment. Thanks for the words of encouragement. Guess you have deepness too, despite all the joking and sarcasm (which I love, BTW). Takes one to know one.

    • alekhouse profile image
      Author

      Nancy Hinchliff 8 years ago from Essex Junction, Vermont

      Thanks, Robyn for your comments. I can see you really relate to the situation. I appreciate your honesty. Good that you look to the future and still have hope.

    • profile image

      O'Brien 8 years ago

      As a youth, I found myself in the daughter's position. There was always conflict and harsh words. In the end, it was not her words, but her violence that set me free.

      We have since come together again, in a strained, uneasy way. She never apologized. I never forgave, not completely. Today, I focus on the good in her. I look forward to the future, rather than the past, and hope.

    • Dink96 profile image

      Dink96 8 years ago from Phoenix, AZ

      He's on a bodybuilding competition trip... ;-)

    • alekhouse profile image
      Author

      Nancy Hinchliff 8 years ago from Essex Junction, Vermont

      Trooper, Thanks so much for your heartfelt and insightful comments. I finally learned, over the years, to back off. But for the most part I've let it go, not that my arms are not still open; they're just guarded. Writing the poem was very theraputic.

    • trooper22 profile image

      trooper22 8 years ago from Chicago

      The rift between parent and child is tough when things are said that cause pain. We to often know our family members so well that we use our knowledge to inflict pain on one another. I was the one who walked away, more like ran actually. Some Days I regret that, other days I think it was necessary. But I am a man, and my mother was very young when she had me. All I can say is thank you for sharing this. The mother's perspective is wonderful, and I sincerely hope that there will come a time when you and your daughter come to a peaceful accord as my mother and I have.

    • alekhouse profile image
      Author

      Nancy Hinchliff 8 years ago from Essex Junction, Vermont

      Dink: Have missed you. Try writing some poetry while your muse is gone. Hey! wait a minute...went on a Euro holiday without you? What's that all about? ...and thanks for the comment

      Lisa:  Thanks for stopping by.

       

    • Lisa HW profile image

      Lisa HW 8 years ago from Massachusetts

      Very moving.

    • Dink96 profile image

      Dink96 8 years ago from Phoenix, AZ

      Mothers, daughters, catharsis, poetry.

      Sometimes it's what brings me to write and I believe you as well. I've tried the poetry route, but I either got no comments or rave comments along with dissection from an English teacher. Haven't written much since. That and my muse has gone on a Euro holiday--ha-ha!!

    • alekhouse profile image
      Author

      Nancy Hinchliff 8 years ago from Essex Junction, Vermont

      Thanks for your very kind comments. I do want to try more. This one was rather a catharsis. Not sure if I want to do that again soon. This is my very first attempt at prose poetry and I have to get used to it. Being a singer, I'm used to everything rhyming.

    • RooBee profile image

      RooBee 8 years ago from Here

      Thank you for sharing this deep and painful - and also incredibly beautiful - poem with us. I hope you will feel comfortable in sharing more as you certainly have a gift. I can't pick out my favorite bit because I think it all is just so perfect together. Great work.

    • alekhouse profile image
      Author

      Nancy Hinchliff 8 years ago from Essex Junction, Vermont

      Thanks GT. Appreciate your comment. Hope to do more. But it scares me a little

    • goldentoad profile image

      goldentoad 8 years ago from Free and running....

      I suppose most parents and children have this passage. I never had a moment like this. I was sent here and there alot.

      Good poem. Hope to see more.