Maximize Your Time - Be A Clone!

No, no, no! What I mean, is not what you are thinking. Please - don't bombard me with the downsides of cloning. Basically, I do not think it should be done. I believe we are tinkering around with our Creator's handiwork - but, just think about it. Have you ever considered how much more productive you could be, if there were two of you...or three...or more? I never seem to have enough time to accomplish all that I would like to in 24 hours.

Lord, help my husband, but - I want to be a clone!

Wouldn't it be nice to devote ONE of you to simply loving and interacting with your family? What a pleasure! Just imagine what you could do!

No, I don't think God made a mistake. Being a unique individual is an incredible experience. But, can't you see how much more each one of us might accomplish?

One of me to spend time with my husband and our family. What bliss! Oh, this Family Clone is essential. There never seems to be enough time, to spend with our loved ones, and the urgent frequently crowds out the important, doesn't it?

What an absolute joy it would be, to have the time to visit with each and every member of our huge family - to catch up on what is going on in their lives, and dawdle the youngest grandchildren on my knees. To go fishing, and hiking, and swimming, and bowling - or just to watch a movie together, and roast marshmallows over the fire.

How quickly they grow, how rapidly they are out on their own - and we are left puzzled as to how it all happened so fast. There "oughta" be a law, to prohibit so many distractions from controlling our limited time and energy. I think I'll get on that, right away!

Oh, yes! One clone to handle the phone - I have to opt for that one. At my businesses, it seems that everyone wants to talk to the boss. The "boss" - that's me, is busy most of the time. The Phone Clone will be a tremendous asset, and will free me up, immensely!

Often, I find myself with a phone at each ear, pen in my mouth, typing, and trying to handle the phones while I am working. I must look ridiculous! If I had a Phone Clone, she would be able to converse intelligently with the callers, while I attend to other matters.

I might even be able to have a normal conversation with some of the members of my family - there's a novel thought! My third son, Matthew, keeps telling me - "Mom, your last name is not 'busy', you know! Every time I call, you say - 'Busy!' You are always busy". My daughter, Natalie, says that I don't have TIME to be busy.

They're both right...I DO say that, and - I am!

Well, it's about time! I don't have to make all of the decisions anymore. The Boss Clone will do it all for me. Yea!

I shall "disconnect" every part of the Boss Clone's brain, that has the ability to be distracted. I will simply install a little "circuit breaker", technically called a "distraction disconnection". Other than that function, everything else can remain in place.

No more decisions - on what to buy, what to design, what to grow, or what to promote. I'll have the Boss Clone answer all of the emails, and open the mail, and pay the bills - from money that the Boss Clone generates, and plant the seeds, and generate the advertising, and...this list could go on for a long, long, time!

My Home Clone will clean in every corner, every nook,

Every cranny will be scrubbed out, and she'll dust off every book.

Her work will not be finished, 'til my home is neat and clean.

My home will frankly scream with shine, the look will be "pristine".

And then, when she has finished, I'll have her start again -

My home will be in tip-top shape - as it has NEVER been!

I NEED this Clone, and I really could have used her when my tribe was young. Why didn't I think of it, then? Oh, that's right - no one was cloning anything, then!

I just LOVE to travel! Oh, for just one of me, to do only that! I could see my daughter, who goes back and forth to the Middle East. I could see my son, in Alaska, too! Whoever asked them to move out of the area, anyway?

How wonderful, to see the Nile, and the castles in Austria, England, Germany, Switzerland - and the Grand Canyon. I would love to see "Old Faithful", the geyser, and New York City again, covered with snow. I would go back to Costa Rica, and see Niagara Falls, and the Petrified Forest.

If I only had a Travel Clone - I could do all of that, and more!

Oh, the "gangstermobiles"! I just LOVE them, and greatly desire to own one, someday. I just drool over my monthly Hemmings magazine, and have enjoyed it, for years!

To have a Vintage Car Clone to check out all of the big old cars for sale - to quote Audrey Hepburn - oh, wouldn't that be "loverly"? I happen to like the look portrayed here, but a Duesenberg or an old Rolls Royce would suit me just fine. Shoot, I'd even take an old Pierce Arrow --- if I had the time to look around.

I would want to have a "hot-rod", in tones of black and gray - and take it on the interstate, and drive, and drive - all day! As it is, I'm grateful if I get the time to drive HOME!

All right! I admit it. What I really am, deep down inside...is a researcher. The Research Clone can spend it's every waking hour, in libraries, all over the country - to read and research every single thing I'd like to know. Oh, to be free to read! My clone will find places I'd like to discover, fill its brain with secrets I'd like to uncover, find out how to do a plethora of things, it would read about chemistry, nature and kings.

A speed-reading researching clone she would be. Her first task? Our unabridged dictionary...

She'd read thousands of books, in my own library; cross-reference, and check them, for accuracy.

Then, digest them completely; report back to me - what a way to get knowledge! Don't you agree?

Think about that - what bliss it would be! Would it free up my time? INDUBITABLY!

I need to have a Granny Clone to be with all of my dearly beloved grandchildren - the multitudinous offspring of some of this bunch of mine. Actually, two of them are not even in the photo. Oh, I just have to be cloned for exclusive interaction with my children's children! Most of them live close by, but I hardly get a chance to see them. That ought to be a crime punishable by death.

To work so hard, for so many years, to support a family - and THEN, to have them grow up, go out on their own and have families of their own - that I don't seem to have time to enjoy...

What a revolting development! With the Granny Clone, my grandchildren will get a chance to see their "Granny", as I am affectionately known.

How about a Worship Clone? One of me who does nothing else but praise and worship God, our Creator - for the magnificent things He has done; oh, the Worship Clone is a must!

When my eyes behold the heavens,

When I hear the thunder roar.

When I witness birth, or see the Earth,

I thrill to praise Him more!

Oh, to have the time, to properly return thanks, for the splendor of His handiwork...

One of me, just to write...yes, I definitely need to have an Author Clone. Instead of hastily scribbling notes down on anything that will allow me to write on it, my Author Clone can be available 24 hours a day, to write down whatever pops into my head, and publish it!

I've already decided - this clone is a must! My fingers can take a break from the keyboard, my pens will last, my pencils will stay sharp, my brain will be clear, and the Author Clone can take up the slack.

Photo credit: Public Domain Photo - City of Yuma, AZ website.

Or...IS it?

At last, all of my clones are in place! Now, I can FINALLY find the time to do the things that I enjoy. I'll have plenty of time to spend with my family, and read, and research, and run the businesses, and plant my trees, and converse on the phone, and travel the world...

~~~ NOW - WAIT - JUST A DOGGONE MINUTE! ~~~

I have just talked myself out of a job, haven't I? If my clones take over all of my obligations - every task I have set myself to do - every conversation I might like to have - visiting every place I'd like to travel - seeing all of the people I'd like to see - and doing whatever else I can exploit my clones to do --- I will become perfectly useless and unnecessary!

My sons used to love Steve Taylor's songs, back in the late 1980s, and my entire family really enjoys his work. His song - "I Want To Be A Clone" made me think, a great deal, about how "clonish" different cultures, religions, and societies can be. Rather than think for themselves, they prefer to act like those around them. Refusing to do their own research or take responsibility for their own actions; they literally act like "clones" of those around them. You are certain to enjoy his music, all of it. Some of his work is very intense, and will cause you to reflect, as I did in this article, on what is really important in life!

On Amazon, you can get "I Want To Be A Clone" as a cassette tape, CD, or MP3 download.

Photo credits: Unless otherwise specified, all images here were photographed or created by the author - E. Tack.