How to Deal with inconsiderate neighbors

I have shifted homes eleven times and each time i have had neighbours who start off by being so good and friendly and then slowly start showing a totally different avatar. I have had neighbours who have showered me with goodies which i don't need and they don't need either , neighbours who have accused me of listening to all their conversations by installing a special devise installed in their home and of considering myself superior because I belong to a higher caste, I have very friendly neighbours who at any time of the day pop in to a. print a sheet, print a photograph, scan a document, take care of their dog, use the Internet, borrow some rice, milk, sugar, coconut etc. and even treat me to their leftover chicken curry, fruit dessert, etc. I have had neighbours who haven't spoken a word to me in an entire year of opening and closing doors together for the milkman, telephone man, the paper boy, the garbage guy and so on and getting in and ot of the house together. It is from this particular neighbour that I learnt how to live without being bothered by neighbours...

1. Find a house that is separate from the rest of the blocks so you are automatically away from the happenings of the neighboring home.

2. Make sure there are no pets, no families with noisy children or newborn ones, no quarreling couples, no musicians - music lovers - singers, no stray dogs, stray cats, no donkeys (we have a construction site nearby where donkeys work during the day and bray at night) in the neighbourhood.

3. Don't converse with any body - keep a stern look on your face always. You never know neighbours seem like fun - but when you have to 'help' them with some milk, coffee powder, sugar, etc when they run out of it - even print out sheets when they run out of ink, help with their child's project, scan a few documents, make telephone complaints then it certainly is not fun. Hence be absolutely unapproachable.

4. Now about the noise - sound proof your home - If you live in a hot place air-condition it centrally - otherwise you could have heaters. Any thing that requires the windows to be shut out tight and doesn't let the outside air along with the noise in!

5. If you cannot afford an air-conditioner you could have a ceiling fan - an old one preferably which makes a rattling humming noise which will camouflage any noise that escapes into your house. An old cooler might also work - It makes a whooshing noise when it lets out cool air.

6. Make friends with the computer and the Internet. Write a lot of hubs. Sit at work getting huge traffic into your site. Earn money through the net so you don't have to go out of your house and meet and thereby make friends with people who will start spelling trouble for you...

7. Tire yourself out by working out hard so that when you fall into bed you go into deep slumber and nothing in the neighbourhood can wake you up from your beauty sleep.

8. If none of this works call the police - Ask for a special cell that is away from the rest and enjoy your beauty sleep.... Hope this helps. Good luck...