Introducing Myself

I’m just a girl …

Wait! Damn. I’m 49 years old! I’m a full, grown ass woman who is confused as fuck!

When did this happen? It certainly doesn’t feel like I blinked and the years flew by. Yeah, I blinked. Blinked back tears. Blinked from dust in my eyes each time I fell to the ground after getting my ass kicked by the Universe. Okay. So yeah. I‘m being a little dramatic. Okay. A lot dramatic.

Man. I mean, woman. I mean, person. Phew. Boy. The world has changed since I was a little girl. But you know what? Who cares? Who cares about the world, when I, I have changed so much. Most times, I don’t hardly recognize me.

Can’t believe I’m cussing in this introduction. How many curse words was that? I stopped counting at two. How many did you see? And actually, does “damn” really count?

So, let me take it back a little now for real. Who am I? I can start by telling you I’m not who I want to be. Not who I thought I’d be. "Who did I think I’d be?", you ask. Well, I’m just a woman, a 49 year old woman, with low ambition (actually took an ambition test not too long ago), big dreams and a mental health struggle that makes living, thinking, breathing all seem like Olympic events, but who makes jokes constantly and so it almost seems like I could be a comedienne, but refer back to ambition. What a mouthful, er, em, eyeful.

I am a homebody. An introvert (although my daughters insist that I must be an ambivert as a starting point. Oh, that was me mentioning that I am a mother. Again, how did that happen …twice? The science does not escape me, but, all that is beyond the science is a mystgerly to me!). Mystgerly, if you must know, is a misspelling of “mystery” that I found to be quite cute when my fingers just went crazy on me.

Socializing. Not my favorite thing. I remember when I used to refer to “networking” as both “the n word” and “the f word”. Networking is the evil, steroid taking, next level bad twin of socializing. I used to say that 3 people is preferred, 5 unknown people is too much and 8 loved ones is the max.

I could not possibly succeed in an industry where interacting constantly with people and traveling much-much is required.

So, here I am, trying to sleep at 2:00 AM, after 20 years of trying to develop good-sleep-habits, thinking to myself, maybe I could just write comedy. Never have to leave my home. Never have to stand-up in front of a crowd. And yet, I could reach millions of people! I’d be happy with thousands. Hundreds? Nah. No. Tens of thousands. Yeah!

Ambition Test / Quiz | Psychology Today

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/tests/career/work-style-test

The above link is provided without permission or benefit. Should there be a request to remove it, that shall be done immediately.

I dare you to take the test. Either you will discover something about yourself that you didn't know or it will confirm something that you already know. In my case, it confirmed that I have low ambition, which I am 100% okay with. What troubles me is that most people in my close circle are mildly to highly ambitious. And the world loves ambitious people.

Now one thing about me (well another thing, since I've already told you many things) is that I like to share information. More accurately, I love to share information. When I take quizzes like this - and I often do - I'll try to get other people to take the quiz also. It usually doesn't take much persuading, which brings joy to my soul.

The first quiz I ever remember taking that I shared quite regularly was for the five love languages. If you don't already know about this, Google it! A high recommendation.

But back to the ambition test. I encouraged 5 people to take it and 4 confirmed what they already knew (he/adult/high, she/young adult/middle, she/adult/high, she/adult/very high). The last of the 5 (he/adult) thought he had low ambition, but tested for high. He is still processing what that means for him.

Speaking of processing ...

Let me tell you something I don't like. I don't like when I take a quiz and it gives me a partial report, then asks for my email address to get the full report. Or then asks for a fee to get the report. I know that everything in life isn't free, but boy (man, girl, woman, person -- I really, have to make a decision on the gender and age of this exclamation. Habit vs. new era) do I love free times three!