Letter of Complaint to the Restaurateur - an Indignant Poem
Do you ever feel you've been caught by a restaurant?
Here's the background story:
I went to a pizza restaurant. Because Pizza Puttanesca was not on the menu, I ordered a standard cheese and tomato pizza (Margherita) and asked for "Extras" - capers and anchovies - to build it up into my own Puttanesca, which I love for its strong flavour.
They were a bit mean with the Extras but not with their pricing.
The cost of the Pizza was about £4.50 and they charged me a further £3.50 for a very few capers and even fewer anchovies - virtually doubling the price for the meagre toppings.
I paid but flew into a hissy fit!
I got it out of my system by writing the poem below.
This is one of a series of letters I never wrote
You know the sort of letter -
it would be sent to a newspaper
and be signed
Letter of Complaint to the Restaurateur - my poem
Luncheon of the Boating Party - Pierre-Auguste ...
To the Restaurateur
We ate in your very ordinary restaurant
In unexceptional Muswell Hill
Just a normal Margherita,
The service run-of-the-mill
The only extravaganza
Four capers and three anchovies
Over the top - an extra which cost
Just less than the pizza
How crass to fleece the public
In a recession
Don't you make any concession
Like going the extra mile -
Service with a smile and not
A grasping fist?
You won't see me for gold dust
© Diana Grant 13 September 2009
A Few Anchovies and Capers Costing £3.50? Don't Make Me Laugh!
I call that "Daylight Robbery"
They couldn't cost more than 35p so if a restaurateur were to charge 3 times the cost, or even 4 times (£1 - £1.35), I would consider that reasonable, as it includes overheads, but £3.50? - that's a profit of 100-fold, or 1,000%.
Am I the only one to make a stand and complain?
The book had 60 five-star Amazon reviews.
Lots of information and mouthwatering recipes for pizza dough, toppings and everything you could ever wish to know about pizza from a great writer who knows his stuff
Forget Eating Out - Make Your Own Pizza and Stay Home - American Pie: My Search for the Perfect Pizza, by Peter Reinhart
Learn how to make delicious pizzas and save yourself a fortune - it's not hard
Do you think it's reasonable for a restaurant to charge almost as much for a small dish of extra anchovies as the whole pizza - What do you think?
It might be only a small amount of money in the scheme of life, but is the principle worth at least a complaint or a disapproving comment, maybe even a refusal to pay more than £1.50 (that's about $2.50)? Do you cough up and go quietly, or would you make a fuss?
If you felt cheated by having to pay an excessive amount for extras, would you complain to the management?
When you need to cut your Pizza into slices - here's just the tool to help you
Useful Pizza Equipment for Home Made Pizza - You can buy all sorts of Pizza-related products from Amazon
First you find your recipe from the book. Then you can make your pizzas from scratch, using the oven pictured, or just use the baking tray for a partially made pizza base, finishing it off with your own ingredients. There is even a special pizza slicer, to stop you tearing the pizza roughly when you try to cut it.
See Some of My Zazzle Designs - great Christmas presents:
On Zazzle you can choose a product with my design, or you can create your own designs and wording
See more of my designs in my Zazzle Store: Glorious Confusion
Go on, Louder -
We Want to Hear!