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Letter Of Complaint To The Restaurateur - An Indignant Poem

Updated on June 7, 2019
Gloriousconfusion profile image

I started writing poetry as a child. I write performance poetry, observational, sometimes humorous, sometimes serious human rights issues

Do You Ever Feel You've Been Caught By A Restaurant?


Here's The Background Story:

The year was 2009 when I went to a pizza restaurant

Because Pizza Puttanesca was not on the menu, I ordered a standard cheese and tomato pizza (Margherita) and asked for "extras" - capers and anchovies - to build it up into my own Puttanesca, which I love for its strong flavour.

They were a bit mean with the extras but not with their pricing.

The cost of the Pizza was about £4.50 and they charged me a further £3.50 for a very few capers and even fewer anchovies - virtually doubling the price for the meagre toppings.

I paid but flew into a hissy fit!

I Got It Out Of My System By Writing The Poem Below

.......but I never actually wrote the letter

This is one of a series of letters I never wrote

You know the sort of letter -

it would be sent to a newspaper

and be signed

"yours disgustedly"


Letter Of Complaint To The Restaurateur

We ate in your very ordinary restaurant

In unexceptional Muswell Hill

Just a normal Margherita,

The service run-of-the-mill.

The only extravaganza

Four capers and three anchovies

Scattered on the top -

An extra which cost

Just less than the pizza.

How crass to fleece the public

In a recession;

Don't you make any concession

Like going the extra mile -

Service with a smile and not

A grasping fist?

You won't see me for gold dust

.....Ever again

© Diana Grant 13 September 2009

This is What A Saucer Of 3 Mashed Anchovies And 10 Capers Looks Like - Not Very Much, Is It?


A Few Anchovies and Capers Costing £3.50? Don't Make Me Laugh!

I call that "Daylight Robbery"

They couldn't cost more than 35p so if a restaurateur were to charge 3 times the cost, or even 4 times (£1 - £1.35), I would consider that reasonable, as it includes overheads, but £3.50? - that's a profit of 100-fold, or 1,000%.

Am I The Only One To Make A Stand And Complain?

Do you think it's reasonable for a restaurant to charge almost as much for a small dish of extra anchovies as the whole pizza - what do you think?

It might be only a small amount of money in the scheme of life, but is the principle worth at least a complaint or a disapproving comment, maybe even a refusal to pay more than £1.50 (that's about $2.50)? Do you cough up and go quietly, or would you make a fuss?

If You Felt Cheated By Having To Pay An Excessive Amount For Extras, Would You Complain To The Management?

See results

Luncheon of the Boating Party By Pierre-Auguste Renoir


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