My Special Escape~ A Poem

My Special Escape

Maybe there’s a reason it hadn’t happened before

I try not to wonder why I never had much more

Dreadful memories run me over in my head

I took lonely times, examined them and look at where it led

All I ever wanted was to feel that special escape

I challenged the understanding then realized sometimes it’s too late

Loves me still, forever will, this I am sure

But the love is so different, for me I need much more

I may have made a huge mistake wanting my satisfaction

It hurts to watch hearts that break, more than one with this reaction

It took seeing it from afar to know that it exist

All the findings, strangely enough are the necessities that I’ve missed

I can want to be touched, I can want to be held, I can feel those things too

Now that I know it’s not all a myth, fantasy is all brand new

I ran through the wrong trap door but knowingly I didn’t halt

I see a life before me though the damage done is my fault

I think I’m falling in the wrong place, I need to trip again

No one can ever understand the mind set I’m trapped in

Evilness bares an unsightly core when temptation is at hand

The beauty that is within will not prepare me for the land

Afraid of my intentions to self, not sure when this will end

Please just don’t give up on me, for now I need a friend.

©COPYRIGHT DECEMBER 2012 BY lifesparadox