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Poems That Tickle My Feet -XVII --Why I Hate Plastic

Updated on November 5, 2011

Why I Hate Plastic - By Pat Gillem

Why do I hate plastic, there are countless ways,
why do I hate plastic, I could rant and rave for days.
First they use plastic, to seal everything up tight,
so anything that I am opening, is going to put up a fight.
It happened one December, while getting ready for work,
when it comes to dealing with plastic, I nearly go berserk.
I was trying to open a ketchup bottle, a plastic tie around the neck,
trying to break the seal, my nerves were just a wreck.
I grabbed a knife off the table, and tried to cut that plastic tie,
all of a sudden I pierced the bottle, and was squirted in the eye.
That's when I yelled, and threw the sharp knife,
it stuck in the wall next to a fly, and nearly took his life.
My wife came running to the scene, of the awful fight,
when she saw the ketchup on my face, she nearly fainted from fright.
'' What is that blood on your face?'' then the bottle she did spy,
she said '' I thought you stabbed yourself, and I was about to cry!''
To this day I remember that fight, and a squirt in the eye you see,
my wife and I laugh about it, while we decorate our plastic Christmas tree.


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    • PADDYBOY60 profile image
      Author

      PADDYBOY60 6 years ago from Centreville Michigan

      Hi Carlon Michelle - Thank you so much. I appreciate you stopping by.

    • Carlon Michelle profile image

      Carlon Michelle 6 years ago from USA

      Adorable!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • PADDYBOY60 profile image
      Author

      PADDYBOY60 6 years ago from Centreville Michigan

      Thelyricwriter- Thanks for stopping in and reading my poem. You may have paper sir.

    • thelyricwriter profile image

      Richard Ricky Hale 6 years ago from West Virginia

      Up, funny, awesome, and interesting. What a great poem. Thanks for the laugh my friend. Plastic sucks:) Paper please?

    • PADDYBOY60 profile image
      Author

      PADDYBOY60 6 years ago from Centreville Michigan

      Hi MM - You are right about us not belonging in the 21st century. I should have been born in the early 1800's. Thank you very much for your nice comments.

    • Movie Master profile image

      Movie Master 6 years ago from United Kingdom

      Oh Paddy, this made me laugh so much!!

      Brilliant! I hate plastic so much!!! we don't belong in the 21st Century!

    • PADDYBOY60 profile image
      Author

      PADDYBOY60 6 years ago from Centreville Michigan

      Hi Peg I too remember that. Now I buy the cloth bags, but I'll be hanged if I don't forget to take them into the store. I get up to the counter and then I remember them. Is that a sign of getting old? Thanks for the comments.

    • PegCole17 profile image

      Peg Cole 6 years ago from Dallas, Texas

      Yes, the plastic enemy. I still remember when they started asking "paper or plastic" and I wish we'd all said paper.

    • PADDYBOY60 profile image
      Author

      PADDYBOY60 6 years ago from Centreville Michigan

      I would have been amused myself Nellieanna! Thank you so much, for your kind comments

    • Nellieanna profile image

      Nellieanna Hay 6 years ago from TEXAS

      You certainly are good at limericks and ditties. This one reminded me of an incident when my son was about 7 (he's in his late 50s now). His paternal grandmother decided to get an aluminum Christmas tree - it was set up as her Christmas trees always were. When Steve walked in and saw it, the little smart-a__ puckered up his nose and with great emotion, said,

      "UMM-m-m-m - - ! Smell that ALUMINUM!"

      She wasn't amused but I certainly was! :-)

    • PADDYBOY60 profile image
      Author

      PADDYBOY60 6 years ago from Centreville Michigan

      Hi Epigramman - Thank you for your comments. I have read quite a few of Gus the Rednecks hubs. And a couple of Attempted Humours hubs. They are both funny and good writers.

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 6 years ago

      .......well I'm not too fussy about my plastic girlfriend with the vinyl mouth - lol lol - and yes you are a true comedian because I loved your comment on my ode to tongue - just before I get sidetracked here - I suggest to you if so inclined to check out two of my funnier hub buddies - Gus the Redneck and ATTEMPTED HUMOUR - and yes you have a gift here for the poetry gab and it certainly tickled my fancy (feet) .... so nice to meet you my friend and warm greetings from lake erie time ontario canada 10:19pm

    • PADDYBOY60 profile image
      Author

      PADDYBOY60 6 years ago from Centreville Michigan

      Hi WD - There are many true reasons I hate plastic. If you haven't done this yet, go to google and type in plastic island. This is another reason I hate plastic. As for the fly, he got caught in a spider web, but good news, he pulled out a gun and shot the spider in the gizzard.

    • PADDYBOY60 profile image
      Author

      PADDYBOY60 6 years ago from Centreville Michigan

      Hi Raburcke - I guess plastic is cheaper my friend. I think there is a evil plot to drive us all insane with plastic. Hahahahahaaaaaaa! ( Evil laugh! )

    • raburcke profile image

      raburcke 6 years ago from Fuengirola, M├ílaga, Spain

      Whatever happened to china and glass?

    • WD Curry 111 profile image

      WD Curry 111 6 years ago from Space Coast

      I hate plastic, too . . . for my own reasons. You are a tender-hearted guy with compassion for a fly.

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