sly croc

No! Whatever you might be tempted to do, do NOT let this sly fella feed you a croc’ o come-on!

The tepid waters of this reptilian playground — situated where Barefoot Resort Bridge veers from North Kings Highway in North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina — are nowhere near as clear or as inviting or as safe as this aquatic carnivore would have you believe!

Snap as many pictures as you'd like of the spouse and kids posed playfully in the foreground, with croc and friends safely out of focus in the distance. But you had better stay well beyond the wrought steel fence, and not let that broad friendly grin fool you, for this particular beast has simply developed the remarkable predatory ability to pull his lips over two long, sharp serrated rows of jagged teeth. And with a bite pressure a dozen times stronger than your redneck neighbor’s biggest and meanest Rottweiler, you don’t want to tempt fate. Moreover, at about 20 feet in length and an even ton in weight, once this guy pulls you under the surface, you won’t be coming up in this life. (Crocodilians kill hundreds each year throughout Africa and southeast Asia. It’s not for nothing that these guys are the surviving relatives of large meat-eating dinosaurs!)

As you are reading the colorful and informative zoological plaque set before the wallow-hole, don’t let the melodious and somewhat silly species name of Crocodylidae (pronounced crock-a-dilly-day!) lull you into complacency. Notwithstanding his playfully crooked finger, this creature is just doing what crocodiles always do: luring you to a light lunch on the water. His, that is.