Brains Vs. Diva
Hurriedly eating breakfast while watching the “BBC News,” reading local
newspapers on the bus and searching the web before going to bed has
became my newly daily rituals.
These rituals have replaced other rituals
such as standing in front of the mirror for an hour, polishing my nails
in the bus station, reading about my seasonal colors on the bus and
last but not least, my very own cucumber night mask.
Replacing
these rituals was simply my way of retaliating for not being an aware or
involved citizen over the past years or, to be more accurate, since my
teen years, since at that time, I was never interested in anything worth being interested at,
whether global or local.
My friends and I simply disdained any
form of media that discussed serious issues. In our dictionary, serious
meant boring, “global issue” was a synonym for “none of my business,”
politics was a word for the art of deception and news reports were, if I
may say, the art of marketing lies. For those of us watching Al Jazeera
or any other news channel, was an extremely dramatic and monotonous
reality show that would alter our mood and thus God Forbid our looks.
Now, this doesn’t mean
that everything I perceive is necessarily true or that seeing injuries,
starvation, earthquakes and human miseries doesn’t bother me; rather, I
simply realized that not knowing about these events won’t make them
disappear.
Just today, I was watching an interview with Mohamed
ElBaradei (director general of the International Atomic Energy Agency)
about Iran’s true potential when it comes to owning weapons of mass
destruction and how other rivals deal with it.
The old me
would’ve thought watching a program like “Lebanon's Next Top Model” and discussing
the colors of summer was more interesting.
However, when you
watch such interviews, not only does your awareness bloom, but also
other feelings, such as indignation, because while Iran is considered as
an unpredictable threat that should be disarmed, Israel seems to have
every right to own such destructive weapons.
Maybe this is why,
along with numerous other reasons, determining one’s seasonal colors
seemed more appealing to me.
Every day, the news channels show
excruciating images of starving people and homeless citizens. Once
again, the old me would’ve preferred watching a reality show about
spoiled rich kids living in Beverly Hills, depicting nothing other than
their normal lives; a show where watching these brats get in style,
party and drive around is as far as it goes.
It’s not that women
don’t care about the world, nor is it that we’re self-centered, although
we sometimes can be superficial and think that just by avoiding
exposure to such issues will make them better.
An entire episode
of the show “Al-Wasta” hosted by Tareq Al-Suwaidan was devoted to
discussing the phenomenon of lack of prominent women. However, for a
brief moment, Al-Suwaidan reprimanded the women for being superficial,
wondering how a makeup set could be more important to them than the
Palestinian issue.
Now, looking back, I can’t quite understand
why a broken nail could ruin my day or why finding the perfectly
suitable seasonal colors for me could lift my spirits so high. However,
it’s not – as Al-Suwaidan asserted – that we don’t care; rather – and to
our shame – such issues simply don’t cross our minds, at least not for
all women.
Following my awakening, as I like to call it, I’ve
totally let myself go. My hair screams for help, my nails look miserable
and I’ve developed what others call “panda eyes,” which are puffy eyes
with dark blue circles around them.
And that’s not to mention my
style, which has transformed completely from wearing a stylish abaya to a
plain one, from wearing high heels to flat boots and from carrying
stylish brand-name bags to huge ones that look more like what old ladies
take to shop for groceries.
While my friends have made numerous
jokes about my transformation, it wasn’t until they saw me at a party
that they really rebuked me.
I guess I’ve created a weird link
between stylish and stupid, smart and unstylish. Why can’t women be
smart and outgoing, yet stylish and sophisticated? Why is it that
people’s perceptions of stylishness are considered a warning sign of
carelessness?
I say that we are women, so our concerns should be
feminine. For instance, my current lifestyle now involves a one-hour
facial mask while listening to the news, searching the web for new books
while purchasing a set of makeup and joining activist groups while
looking as good as I can.
The new me is aware, yet humble;
trendy, yet modest. The new me knows that nothing is superficial and
nothing should be overlooked completely. Finally, the new me admits that
having a balanced amount of feminine concerns isn’t wrong, so long as
they’re not my top priorities.