The ADD Way: A Self-Help Guide for Neurotypicals (Normals) Who Want More ADD in Their Life
What the world needs is a bit more ADD. There is only (roughly) 8-10% of us out there and it’s not fair that the majority of society is robbed from the rollercoaster ride of an ADD mind. So for those of you who are ready to ADD a bit more flare (see: blaze, as is in, inferno) to their lives, I have written a self-help segment for you.
It’s not for everyone.
In 18 easy steps (1+8 = 9 which is < 10, which is far too many steps) I will instruct you on how to tackle everyday things with a revolutionary approach that will change the way you see the world and help you to handle mundane tasks in an extraordinary way. Life changing stuff. Follow these simple instructions, and you too can be more ADD.
Putting together IKEA furniture the ADD Way
1. Got to IKEA.
2. Nick someone`s passenger door when parking your car.
3. Get overwhelmed by the crowd. Buy a bookcase.
4. Go home, run out of gas on the way.
5. Get home an hour later than planned.
6. Open up the box. Lose three of the screws.
7. Look at the instructions. Then cry.
8. Throw the instructions out.
9. Put the sides of book case together by screwing two of the four shelves in.
10. Decide it’s the wrong colour. Paint the shelves with glitter glue and cut-outs from a bridal magazine.
11. Put some books on the self.
12. Realize you haven’t finished building it; put the rest of the shelves on. When you get to the end and have run out of screws, use chewing gum and scotch tape to hold it together.
13. Then, look for a position in the room that the bookcase will fit, or if necessary – decide on the room you want it in.
14. Move the book case to that spot. If you can’t find a spot, this is a good time to decide if you actually need a book case.
15. Injure your foot as the bookcase falls apart and everything lands on that foot.
16. Scream, swear and stomp on the debris with your other foot.
17. Throw the bookcase out and stick all the books back under your bed.
18. Remember you left your purse at the checkout and drive back to IKEA.
Presto! You have put a bookcase together the ADD Way! Easy, isn’t it?