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Poems That Tickle My Feet XX - I Love My Tools

Updated on November 13, 2011

I Love My Tools - By Pat Gillem

I am as they say, mechanically minded, I try to fix things when they are broke,
I say,'' I can fix that.'' My wife looks at me and says, '' That's a funny joke!''
I give a laugh, and run to the barn, to retrieve my tool box,
of course I kind of lose the mood, while fighting with the lock.
Finally I get it open, and rush through the door with glee,
just in time to get hit in the head, by a falling Christmas tree.
Not to worry, its made of plastic, stuff that I really hate,
but it still stings a little, when it hits me on the pate.
Now I am not a tidy person, as you can plainly see,
you had better wear a hardhat, if you go in, for your own safety!
Looking for my tool box, I get down on my hands and knees,
throwing things into the air, I find it under a bag of last years leaves.
Now its time to escape the cave, and get out into the open air,
then that stupid tree, hits me in the head again , this is really unfair!
There's the door, I think to myself, while tripping over a box,
I am glad my wife didn't see that, I can be clumsy as an Ox.
Finally I get out the door, and head up to our house,
when I feel something move in my pocket, its a little gray mouse.
Setting the little guy on the ground, I head for the house again,
how did that mouse get into my pocket, I am thinking with a grin.
I throw the door open and yell, ''Honey, I have found my tools!''
She says, '' It has a warranty, if you touch it, you'll break the rules!''
I had that dejected look, my ego took a big slammer,
I think i'll fix it anyway, by hitting it with my big hammer!
Here's the moral of this story, if you are fixing something you see,
you had better check with someone, to see if there's a warranty!

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    • PADDYBOY60 profile imageAUTHOR

      PADDYBOY60 

      6 years ago from Centreville Michigan

      Shaisty-Chase-Tea You weren't standing on your head, there in your bed, while you were writing this here comment were you? Just kidding! Thanks for stopping by and I will do that.

    • Shaisty-Chase-Tea profile image

      Shaisty-Chase-Tea 

      6 years ago from The Outskirts

      you are so much like me, just read the begginning though as it reads into a prose style and that looks hard to think its' poetry without many paragraphs but i'll check it out... please share a follow and recommend anything in comments if you ever think of what i might like as a pentacostal christian with a submissive but arrogange self doubt for leader position in my church, but i see signs all around me like how the other one related to what was going on right now on my facebook... like an lol no paranoia cool to think you might have wrote me a jk tribute because you wondered why i wasn't participating in the contest with the award winning humorist columist with a website official competition and a casual facebook thread to read each week... Madeline Begun Kane, Mad Kane something is her website for mostly limericks with references to what they are about, with more stress on helping new talent... look her up for the most professionl limerick satire i know online...

      disclaimer: this comment was unedited with me laying in bed in an awkward position next to a nightstand

    • PADDYBOY60 profile imageAUTHOR

      PADDYBOY60 

      6 years ago from Centreville Michigan

      Hi Rosemay - Thanks for stopping in again. I always look forward to your comments.

    • Rosemay50 profile image

      Rosemary Sadler 

      6 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

      This was a fun read Paddy. I could just see it all happening. Lol

    • PADDYBOY60 profile imageAUTHOR

      PADDYBOY60 

      6 years ago from Centreville Michigan

      Hi MM - I am glad you liked this poem, and you are so welcome. I was inspired by a big hammer. Actually I have a saying when anyone has trouble with any type of equipment. I always say,'' Hit it with a big hammer!''

    • Movie Master profile image

      Movie Master 

      6 years ago from United Kingdom

      Hi Paddy, so brilliantly described I could picture you, tool box, mouse and of course the plastic tree!!

      Thanks for the laugh!

      Best wishes MM

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