Every Day Items: Bucket (a satire)
By Nils Visser
(copy and paste this link onto another page for a suitable background tune: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ElLpKewnxp4)
Cylindrical in shape with an open top and a closed bottom, buckets are very useful items to have in the house and garden.
Most of the time they are round.
Sometimes they are square.
I’m sure some clever designer has made a triangular one, if not they should. However, most of the time they are round.
Most buckets have a volume of roughly ten litres, or two gallons. Sometimes they are smaller. Sometimes they are bigger.
However, bigger buckets do weigh a lot more. If you want to transport four gallons, instead of two gallons, you could always carry two buckets at the same time (one in each hand).
Because buckets are waterproof, they are very useful for carrying water. Other liquids may also be found in buckets, such as paint. Or my uncle’s moonshine.
They are also quite handy to have around in case of fire (unless it’s an electrical fire). By the way, if there is a fire, merely having a bucket will not suffice, it helps to fill it with water.
Buckets used to be made of wood or leather, these days they are often made of plastic. Metal ones can make very nice decorative pieces in the garden.
A “Bucket List” is a list of things you want to do before you push up the daisies, or “kick the bucket” so to speak.
A charming rural proverb is “don't amount to a bucket of spit”, which means it isn’t worth all that much, although you can probably still use it to make moonshine with.
A “drop in the bucket” means something doesn’t really contribute a great deal.
To “go to hell in a bucket” means something is getting worse and worse (this hub, for example).
Some people say “For crying in a bucket” to express shock and surprise, though really? I mean, there are sooooo many more suitable single-syllable adjectives.
To “sweat buckets” means very excessive perspiration. Yuck.
Harry Belafonte sings a song about a bucket with a hole in it. It’s funny, but a bit repetitive.
Here’s a little poem I wrote about buckets:
Oh bucket
Beautiful round open-ended bucket
I wonder if you were made in Nantucket
Maybe a composer will turn this into a tucket
about a round open-ended bucket
Ran out of rhyming words, oh f………
I hope this hub helped you to understand buckets. Remember to vote me up and shower me with compliments.
Next week’s Every Day Household Item: The Toilet Brush.
