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Every Day Items: Bucket (a satire)

Updated on December 14, 2014
A blue bucket
A blue bucket
A green bucket
A green bucket
A red bucket
A red bucket
A yellow bucket
A yellow bucket
A Children's bucket
A Children's bucket
A linnen bucket
A linnen bucket
A leather bucket. This one was found on the wreck of the Mary Rose.
A leather bucket. This one was found on the wreck of the Mary Rose.
An oak bucket
An oak bucket
A metal bucket
A metal bucket
A fire bucket
A fire bucket
Fire buckets can be used to put out fires, like this.
Fire buckets can be used to put out fires, like this.
Another useful application of the bucket, they're, hum, ar, don't know really but there's a woman in a bikini.
Another useful application of the bucket, they're, hum, ar, don't know really but there's a woman in a bikini.
Buckets can be filled with dead fish
Buckets can be filled with dead fish
Buckets can be filled with dead chicken
Buckets can be filled with dead chicken
Buckets can be filled with kittens
Buckets can be filled with kittens
A cheap alternative to that 275 dollar buggy. This convenient baby transportation device will only set you back a few bucks.
A cheap alternative to that 275 dollar buggy. This convenient baby transportation device will only set you back a few bucks.
Buckets supply an endless source of entertainment for Internet jokes.
Buckets supply an endless source of entertainment for Internet jokes.
A broken bucket.
A broken bucket.

By Nils Visser


(copy and paste this link onto another page for a suitable background tune: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ElLpKewnxp4)

Cylindrical in shape with an open top and a closed bottom, buckets are very useful items to have in the house and garden.

Most of the time they are round.

Sometimes they are square.

I’m sure some clever designer has made a triangular one, if not they should. However, most of the time they are round.

Most buckets have a volume of roughly ten litres, or two gallons. Sometimes they are smaller. Sometimes they are bigger.

However, bigger buckets do weigh a lot more. If you want to transport four gallons, instead of two gallons, you could always carry two buckets at the same time (one in each hand).

Because buckets are waterproof, they are very useful for carrying water. Other liquids may also be found in buckets, such as paint. Or my uncle’s moonshine.

They are also quite handy to have around in case of fire (unless it’s an electrical fire). By the way, if there is a fire, merely having a bucket will not suffice, it helps to fill it with water.

Buckets used to be made of wood or leather, these days they are often made of plastic. Metal ones can make very nice decorative pieces in the garden.

A “Bucket List” is a list of things you want to do before you push up the daisies, or “kick the bucket” so to speak.

A charming rural proverb is “don't amount to a bucket of spit”, which means it isn’t worth all that much, although you can probably still use it to make moonshine with.

A “drop in the bucket” means something doesn’t really contribute a great deal.

To “go to hell in a bucket” means something is getting worse and worse (this hub, for example).

Some people say “For crying in a bucket” to express shock and surprise, though really? I mean, there are sooooo many more suitable single-syllable adjectives.

To “sweat buckets” means very excessive perspiration. Yuck.

Harry Belafonte sings a song about a bucket with a hole in it. It’s funny, but a bit repetitive.

Here’s a little poem I wrote about buckets:

Oh bucket

Beautiful round open-ended bucket

I wonder if you were made in Nantucket

Maybe a composer will turn this into a tucket

about a round open-ended bucket

Ran out of rhyming words, oh f………



I hope this hub helped you to understand buckets. Remember to vote me up and shower me with compliments.

Next week’s Every Day Household Item: The Toilet Brush.


Your opinion, more than a drop in a bucket

Buckets are....

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    • Nils Visser profile imageAUTHOR

      Nils Visser 

      6 years ago from Brighton UK

      He ought to be, how can you run a country if you don't know one bucket from the next? Or is that Dutch subjectivity?

    • profile image

      Richard Hornsby 

      6 years ago

      All this talk of buckets bought this to mind “We contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle” Winston Churchill. Hear that Mr Cameron i'm sure he will be reading this.

    • Nils Visser profile imageAUTHOR

      Nils Visser 

      6 years ago from Brighton UK

      Oak.................................

    • profile image

      Frank of the Spoon 

      6 years ago

      Challenge accepted, triangular it is. Any preferences concerning the material?

    • Nils Visser profile imageAUTHOR

      Nils Visser 

      6 years ago from Brighton UK

      Not enough time, this was written during a meeting.

    • profile image

      klompy 

      6 years ago

      so you can write about anything and have tooooo much time

    • Nils Visser profile imageAUTHOR

      Nils Visser 

      6 years ago from Brighton UK

      Very few people, mind you, it took a great deal of research before I was able to jot down these revelations. I could have sold it, but that seemed right-down unbucketly, so I'm sharing the information freely. I think everyone should have access to this information.

    • profile image

      tom 

      6 years ago

      What a fascinating narrative on the realm of buckets. So many uses and possibility's. Not to mention the historical references.... Who knew??

    • Nils Visser profile imageAUTHOR

      Nils Visser 

      6 years ago from Brighton UK

      Well, when he writes "I do not define time, space, place, and motion, as they are well known to all. Absolute space by its own nature, without reference to anything external, always remains similar and unmovable" I absolutely love his description of the rotating bucket as profound statements by elderly space creatures, i.e. it sounds intelligent and I don't need to know what was said. Put it in a science book and tell me to learn it for a test and I'll panic.

      Which go to show we underestimate buckets, they have a definite mystic side to them.

    • profile image

      Richard Hornsby 

      6 years ago

      Hello Nils, great article, im a big fan of buckets,very informative thank you. I wonder if you have any views on Newton's rotating bucket? Its my favorite historical bucket.

    • Nils Visser profile imageAUTHOR

      Nils Visser 

      6 years ago from Brighton UK

      That is the one. It goes on forever and ever, symbolic really for the important role buckets have played in human history and intellectual development.

    • profile image

      Kylie 

      6 years ago

      Did you mean this song;

      There's a hole in the bucket, dear Liza, dear Liza,

      There's a hole in the bucket, dear Liza, a hole.

      Then fix it, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,

      Then fix it, dear Henry, dear Henry, fix it.

      ;-)

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