How to Invite Gnomes into your Garden

There are many benefits to having a small community of gnomes living in your garden.

Many of the advantages would be obvious to people who are familiar with gnomes, and their gnomonic origins. But lets discuss a couple of them for the layman.

Plants are wonderful, sure. But they don't really do all that much do they? They basically grow and die, and once and awhile give up something to eat. That whole oxygen thing is nice as well of course. Don’t get me wrong I'm not complaining about that. I am all for it.

But wouldn’t your garden be a little bit nicer, if you had a small community of gnomes living in it?

I think the answer is yes. Gnomes are in industrious people, and they will protect your garden from insects and other parasites. They work hard to protect their home and grant gifts of joy and contentment to the owners of the gardens they inhabit.

Plants just do better when gnomes are in the area. (I think we all do frankly). They improve the aura of any garden, and just imbue it with that magic that we have been looking for since we grew up and lost a bit of our childhood innocence in this big old cold world.

Generally there are three types of gnome communities that can join your garden. Although you can have all three living in the same garden, I would recommend you keep them in their own separate areas. Gnomes are unfortunately known for being xenophobic to others in their own race, and you might not get the harminous community you are seeking otherwise.

The forest gnomes enjoy making their homes in trees, stumps and logs. Oftentimes they can be recognized with the small doors and windows that have been hallowed out of the wood to make their homes. They enjoy gardens with lots of big old trees, where they can dance around and play in the branches of the trees. Who wouldn’t want that?

The grey faced rock gnome is always a favorite. More hearty and serious than their forest or vegetable Gnome cousins. They often, as their name suggests make their homes in boulders, and rocks. A decorative rock, with a small door is all they would ask for. They are not a big fan of windows, cherishing their privacy and their secretive lives, but they might enjoy one or two on an especially large boulder.

The farmers of the Gnome world. Often they will live in a large pumpkin, or squash. A temporary home of course, as they do tend to enjoy wandering and having a free spirit and all that. A garden with a few pumpkin plants could help bring them to your garden. Expect a lot of produce this fall if you have a vegetable gnome or two at your place. They love to help out.

Alright you say, “I'm sold. These gnomes sound wonderfu (And of course they are.) But how do I bring a gnome to my garden?”

Simply put, you must trick the gnomes to come to your garden. Gnomes tend to give into the crowd, and enjoy doing what other gnomes are doing. There are several objects you should place in your garden to trick the gnomes into believing other gnomes are already living in your garden

Now that we have brought Gnomes to your garden and no doubt improved your life, and happiness. We need to consider what we can do for our gnomes? There are some things Gnomes look out for, and by supporting your community of gnomes, they can grow and be happy.

Cats enjoy eating and torturing gnomes. Remember the Smurfs with that cat? It’s kind of the same thing I suppose. Except Smurfs are clearly fictional, and french. I am not saying you should keep your cat inside, although I used to date a veterinarian back in my heady days of youth, and we once discussed inside cats vs outsides cats and she said. “Do you want a cat pancake? Or do you want to keep them inside” Needless to say it didn’t work out long term. But still, consider the risk to your cat, and your community of Gnomes.

Dogs on the other hand, are loved and cherished by all the creeds of Gnome Kind. If your dog is properly fenced in, the gnomes will rejoice and play with your dog. I highly recommend it.

If you happen to notice that your dog is running around, having fun for seemingly no reason.

That would be the gnomes and the dog playing together. .

Gnomes enjoy some birds, but only small song birds, in which they can ride around your garden like small griffins for the enjoyment of all. If your bird feeder is attracting larger predator birds, such as crows, seagulls and hawks you should consider altering your feed, or feeders as they will also eat the odd gnome or two. Nobody likes spending a lot of time in places where you ate attacked and eaten by large birds, trust me.

Sometimes you have to cut the lawn. I get it. But have you considered if you are sucking up gnomes into your lawn mower and eviscerating them into a thousand little pieces? If you give the gnomes proper warning they will move out of the way and go back to their homes. Have you ever noticed a lot of people run their lawn mower for 5-10 minutes loudly in the morning, before they even start cutting the lawn? They do that to warn the gnomes to go home, things are about to fit the fan!

One aspect most people don’t realize is that Gnomes, being magic creatures cannot be seen by the human eyes. Indeed as you look over your garden, you might see very few signs that gnomes have been living in your garden beyond the various nicknacks you have yourself placed in the garden. The problem is of course that you are seeking to look with your eyes, when you should actually be seeking out the gnomes with your heart!

Look with your heart! And if the gnomes are there, you will feel it.

While having gnomes live in your garden isn’t for everybody, I think the benefits far outweigh the risks. Why not just set up a little toadstool house or two and see? It might just do something.