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How to Make a John Wayne Toilet Seat

Updated on December 11, 2011

My father loves John Wayne. Well, he probably doesn’t like him any more than the average fan, but when we started teasing him about it, he maybe overcompensated by going a little . . . uh, rabid. For example, he hung a nicely-framed picture of The Duke on the living room wall, and every time he walked by it – at least when we were there – he’d salute it. So, for a variety of reasons, I figured a great gift for him would be a John Wayne toilet seat. They’re pretty easy to make.

  • First, get an inexpensive toilet seat. WalMart had a fake woodgrain one for less than $20.
  • Second, get a print of John Wayne. If you don’t have an extra handy, you can download one from the ‘net (since you’re making this for personal use and not to sell, you’re not infringing on the image copyright.)
  • Third, consider the option of burning the edges of the paper for that old-time Western rugged look. Flame will work, but a decent heat gun is better: it’ll blacken the edges without immediately turning them into black carbon that flakes off.
  • Fourth, although not completely necessary, it’s not a terrible idea to use fine sandpaper (maybe 400 grit) to rough up the seat cover surface. The purpose of this is to give the polyurethane molecules a better surface to hold on to.
  • Fifth, place the image on the seat cover and coat with clear polyurethane finish, also available at WalMart or in any hardware store. You probably will want to put two or three coats on it, very lightly sanding between coats.

If you want to add an extra touch, on the inside of the seat cover, you can apply a message for users, perhaps modifying a John Wayne cliché. On my father’s, I put, “Whoa, Pilgrim! A man’s gotta doo, what a man’s gotta doo.”

Voila! Happy Birthday, Dad!

Of course this sort of thing will never be condoned by Martha Stewart, but if it brings a smile, why not? (But do NOT make one of these for your girlfriend, not for Christmas, not for Valentine’s Day, not for her birthday, not ever. If you need someone to explain why not . . .)

You can also easily make an accessory:

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    • capricornrising profile image

      capricornrising 5 years ago from Wilmington, NC

      Profound and true. I must therefore surmise that "who you are" is a son who would make his father, who loves John Wayne, a John Wayne toilet seat. :-)

    • Windclimber profile image
      Author

      Windclimber 5 years ago from my boat somewhere on the Chesapeake Bay

      Capricornrising, thank you again! As you've no doubt experienced yourself, the great thing about being complimented on your writing is that it is more than an appreciation of just a particular skill you have; you have certain thoughts, because that's who you are, then you write them down, because that's who you are, and then people enjoy them, so their compliments are an appreciation not just of something you can do but of who you are. Thank you!

    • capricornrising profile image

      capricornrising 5 years ago from Wilmington, NC

      Beyond hilarious, especially because you write with such a matter-of-fact voice. Welcome to HubPages - you're already a a star.

    • Windclimber profile image
      Author

      Windclimber 5 years ago from my boat somewhere on the Chesapeake Bay

      Marriedwithdebt, thanks for the comment and for checking out my website. And for the welcome to Hubpages - I'm liking this, although I'm finding it a bit addictive!

      Also, for other readers, you can use this same process on other items with other images. For example, you could make a car key holder to hang by the back door.

    • marriedwithdebt profile image

      marriedwithdebt 5 years ago from Illinois

      I must admit that your title made me want to read. Not a big John Wayne fan. Maybe you could show us how to make John Wayne urinal cakes next! Sweet boat you have there. Welcome to HP.