ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

How to Make a John Wayne Toilet Seat

Updated on December 11, 2011

My father loves John Wayne. Well, he probably doesn’t like him any more than the average fan, but when we started teasing him about it, he maybe overcompensated by going a little . . . uh, rabid. For example, he hung a nicely-framed picture of The Duke on the living room wall, and every time he walked by it – at least when we were there – he’d salute it. So, for a variety of reasons, I figured a great gift for him would be a John Wayne toilet seat. They’re pretty easy to make.

  • First, get an inexpensive toilet seat. WalMart had a fake woodgrain one for less than $20.
  • Second, get a print of John Wayne. If you don’t have an extra handy, you can download one from the ‘net (since you’re making this for personal use and not to sell, you’re not infringing on the image copyright.)
  • Third, consider the option of burning the edges of the paper for that old-time Western rugged look. Flame will work, but a decent heat gun is better: it’ll blacken the edges without immediately turning them into black carbon that flakes off.
  • Fourth, although not completely necessary, it’s not a terrible idea to use fine sandpaper (maybe 400 grit) to rough up the seat cover surface. The purpose of this is to give the polyurethane molecules a better surface to hold on to.
  • Fifth, place the image on the seat cover and coat with clear polyurethane finish, also available at WalMart or in any hardware store. You probably will want to put two or three coats on it, very lightly sanding between coats.

If you want to add an extra touch, on the inside of the seat cover, you can apply a message for users, perhaps modifying a John Wayne cliché. On my father’s, I put, “Whoa, Pilgrim! A man’s gotta doo, what a man’s gotta doo.”

Voila! Happy Birthday, Dad!

Of course this sort of thing will never be condoned by Martha Stewart, but if it brings a smile, why not? (But do NOT make one of these for your girlfriend, not for Christmas, not for Valentine’s Day, not for her birthday, not ever. If you need someone to explain why not . . .)

You can also easily make an accessory:

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • capricornrising profile image

      capricornrising 

      6 years ago from Wilmington, NC

      Profound and true. I must therefore surmise that "who you are" is a son who would make his father, who loves John Wayne, a John Wayne toilet seat. :-)

    • Windclimber profile imageAUTHOR

      Windclimber 

      6 years ago from my boat somewhere on the Chesapeake Bay

      Capricornrising, thank you again! As you've no doubt experienced yourself, the great thing about being complimented on your writing is that it is more than an appreciation of just a particular skill you have; you have certain thoughts, because that's who you are, then you write them down, because that's who you are, and then people enjoy them, so their compliments are an appreciation not just of something you can do but of who you are. Thank you!

    • capricornrising profile image

      capricornrising 

      6 years ago from Wilmington, NC

      Beyond hilarious, especially because you write with such a matter-of-fact voice. Welcome to HubPages - you're already a a star.

    • Windclimber profile imageAUTHOR

      Windclimber 

      6 years ago from my boat somewhere on the Chesapeake Bay

      Marriedwithdebt, thanks for the comment and for checking out my website. And for the welcome to Hubpages - I'm liking this, although I'm finding it a bit addictive!

      Also, for other readers, you can use this same process on other items with other images. For example, you could make a car key holder to hang by the back door.

    • marriedwithdebt profile image

      marriedwithdebt 

      6 years ago from Illinois

      I must admit that your title made me want to read. Not a big John Wayne fan. Maybe you could show us how to make John Wayne urinal cakes next! Sweet boat you have there. Welcome to HP.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)