How to Put a Duvet Cover On by Yourself
A royal frustration!
If you are in charge of laundry or bedmaking, you know exactly how frustrating it is to try to put a duvet cover on your duvet. The theory of duvet covers are great: You can simply take off the cover, wash it, and put it back on your comforter, without having to wash the whole thing.
Getting it off is no problem. Getting it back on is tantamount to bed linen acrobatics. Here is a step by step guide to getting it on without anyone else's help. At the end of this article, you can print out the certificate of achievement. It'll help motivate you- I promise.
Lay out your comforter.
Spread out the comforter on your bed. Make sure you pay attention to the length versus the width. Try not to swear at the person who dirtied the duvet cover, causing you to have to take the blasted thing off in the first place.
Matching the corners...
Next, you want to lay the duvet cover over the comforter, taking care that all the sides and corners match up. Once you have done that, assess where the opening is. Visualize stuffing the duvet into the cover and matching up the corners. You are ready to begin. Deep breaths. You can do this.
Fold over the duvet cover.
You want to fold up the duvet cover and put it at the end of the comforter. Make the opening visible (like a giant mouth ready to you swallow you...er...I mean the duvet.
Grab your first corner.
Grabbing on the corners closest to the duvet cover, shove it right in there and do not stop until you locate the furthest corner! It will feel like forever, but you'll make it. Once you find it, stuff it in there really well, and lay it in a spot where you can identify it.
Do the second corner.
Do the same thing to the second corner. Shove it until you have stuffed it into the other furtherest corner. (I am having so much fun commanding people to shove it).
Grab both recently stuff corners and hold on for dear life.
You are going to take both corners, grab them, and shake that bad attitude right off. You just keep shaking. Do not despair if the whole duvet cover doesn't fall in place. We aren't done yet.
Here's where it gets dicey.
You must take the third corner and shove it into the other corner. You may worry that you are undoing your previous work, but if you leave those first two corners in place, you won't.
Do the final shoving with that last corner. At this point, you are going to lose hope. The comforter will be all bunched up, it wil not be stuffed, and you will think that I (and the bed linen company) have invented a new form of torture.
Grab those last two corners and shake what your Mama gave you!
Whatever you do, don't let go. Shake, shake, and shake some more.
If you followed my instructions correctly, you should have a duvet cover successfully on your comforter. The next step is simple. Go to the store and buy plastic wrap. Cover your entire comforter and duvet cover in plastic wrap so that you never have to do this again.
Certificate of achievement
Congratulations. Upon completing this course, you have graduated from bed linen clutz to bed linen master acrobat. This accredited certificate entitles you to absolutely nothing, but the sheer joy of finishing the world's worst bed-making chore.
That is, unless you have a bed skirt.
I created a video...
Now, I must give you ample warning. This video is 5 minutes long. Though five minutes is not long when you are putting on a duvet cover, you will think you have died and gone to hell while you watch this clip. Don't watch it unless you have absolutely nothing better to do.
I promise I don't sound as perky in real life. You get to listen to me talk at you like you are in 2nd grade, which you will feel like a total idiot if this is your first time using a duvet cover, so maybe I wasn't that off base.
You will get to see my husband's unkept bureau, so that's kind of fun. But seriously, only watch this if my step by step tutorial doesn't work.
You will never be able to get those five minutes of your life back. You've been warned.
Editorial note: My husband watched this video and cracked a rib from laughing. He told me that I should never work in TV. I think I agree.