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What do you mean I MOW wrong (creating Lawn Patterns)

Updated on April 26, 2012

I, me, yes, the wife, obviously MOWS THE LAWN incorrectly.

I know, you're asking how is that even possible, right?

I don't know!

Here I am, working 54 hours a week (from home mind you), so not only am I juggling working , but the obvious home distractions of children, a dog, 2 cats, phones ringing, doorbells, delivery men, and a husband home all day that works 3rd shift. I end one of my long work days and kindly, I said KINDLY, offer to help mow the lawn. My husband takes care of our lawn, my parents (next door) and their neighbors lawn.

I decide to jump on the riding mower and do our lawn. I mean it's a lawn, it needs to be cut, how hard is this? I've been mowing since I was 12 years old for crying out loud! Yet, I get no more than half way through our lawn and out comes my husband.

Him: Baby!

Me: Yes, honey?

Him: STOP ! You're mowing wrong!

Me: WTF? What do you mean I'm mowing WRONG?

Him: You're not going in my pattern

Me: WTF? (again), it's a lawn, there is no pattern, you just cut it!

Him: I'll finish up, thanks for trying to help

Me: Uh hmmm uh oh yeah, (gets off mower and slinks into the house)

See what he did there, he used the thanks for trying to help to try and make me feel like I did something wrong.... the word trying throws that I mowed the lawn WRONG right in my face.

So guess what Mr. I mow the lawn in a pattern the RIGHT way. I'll be in the house, doing everything MY way, the RIGHT way and will not be out "trying " to help you mow the lawn again.

Lawn Mowing Patterns

I guess, quite obviously, after a Google search, there are many different patterns for lawn mowing. Do people actually do this? Actually have the time to think out a lawn pattern?!

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    • upsidedownworld profile image
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      upsidedownworld 5 years ago from Not a mental hospital YET! o.0

      Haha! Thanks Ardot!

    • Ardot profile image

      Ardot 5 years ago from Canada

      I agree with you, lawn dudes' wife, as long as the grass gets cut.

      Husband, you should just shut up and take a hit on your lawn this one time... she OFFERED to help you with the lawn, so your pattern gets thrown off... who cares? She was nice enough to actually offer to cut the lawn! WOW! I wish my wife would cut the lawn. Dude.