ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Tips on How to Get Your Child To Do Chores

Updated on February 20, 2013
Source

Step 1: Communicate With Your Child

The biggest thing in having a relationship with your child or children is to communicate with them. Try to avoid yelling and instead subsitute that with explanations on why you are doing what your doing. Letting your children know that you are in control is an important part of being a parent but it is also critical that you don't speak to them as if theyare miniscule. Before you start giving your children chores or cleaning tasks, you should always have a discussion with them on what you want them to do and why they are doing it. As a result, your child may be proned to do as you ask, rather than throw a tantrum and refuse to do their chores. Also, explain to your child when you expect the chores or cleaning to be done by and even offer a reward such as ice cream or cake in return. On the other hand, I don't believe you should offer a reward everytime simply because a child can get tired of receiving cake and ice cream and what something different instead, which would then backfire on the parent, since the child could then refuse to do the chores from then on out. Only every once in a while, should a parent offer a reward and when you see that your child has done what you have asked compliment them. To a child compliments do go a long way and really encourage the child to continue doing as you ask simply because they know that will make their parents which intune makes them happy.

Step 2: Start At A Young Age

As I've mentioned above, I've noticed how time after time its seems to be getting much harder for parents to get their children to do as they say. One of the main tasks that children do not like to do is chores. I believe as a parent, in order to get your child or children to clean right away, you must start off at a young age. I believe around the age 5 or 6 is a good age to start off giving your children chores. As a parent, at this age, it would be best to start off with small chores such as putting your toys away, throwing away trash, and putting your dish onto your counter. When your teaching your child at this young age, some sort of responsibility, it will help them to take on more responsibility as they get older. If you believe that a child should be younger than 5 or 6 then that is fine but I might add at a younger age the child tends to be more unrestrained, having a short attention span. If you believe that a child should be older than 5 or 6 then that is also fine as well but I might add as a child gets older around 8 or 9 they tend to want to spend the night at a friend's house or play sports instead of coming home to do chores that they really don't want to do. Therefore, I chose around the age 5 or 6 because they tend not to have such a short attention span such as a 4 year old or such eagerness to go and play with friends such as a 9 year old. Even if the 5 or 6 year old wanted to go with friends, you could easily explain to them why they can not and how they have to do their chores first. At first, you might receive some sort of negative reaction but as time goes by things will get better, as long as you keep a nice sweet tone to your voice and your talking to your children and not yelling at them.

Source

Step 3: Limit The Use of Toys as Punishment

There will be sometimes when your trying to get your child to do something that you want them to do and they just simply refuse no matter what reward or positivity they may receiv by doing the task. The best way to go about these tantrums is to punish your child whenever they are not doing a task you want them to do. In psychology, punishment would be seen as operant conditioning or a method of learning through rewards and punishments for behavior. There are considered to be two types of punishment known as positive punishment and negative punishment. In the example of the child refusing to do as you ask and you taking away his toys would be negative punishment. A way to go about using positive punishment instead is to simply give your child a warning that you will take away their toys,if they do not do as you say. Over time, this will reduce your children or child from throwing tantrums and refusing and actually help them to learn what is the wrong thing to do and what is the right thing to do. After a while a child will learn to behave as you would want them to through operant conditiong; a method of rewards and punishment.

Step 4: Limit The Use of Electronics as Punishment

As your child grows older, there would naturally be more resistance to do as their parents ask due to puberty, hormones, and other such things. Since you are the parent and not the friend, you should act accordingly. By this stage, your child should be doing more chores such as washing dishes, vaccumming, taking out the trash, mopping, and doing laundry. The age that your child should start doing these things is around 8 or 9. I choose this age because if you started off with the smaller things while your child was younger, your child will be more prone to helping, knowing that you are happy whenever they do as you say. On the other hand, as your child begins to enter the puberty stage, resistance seems to be high and not considering the feelings of the parents seems to be at an all time high as well. Therefore, taking away something such as toys or t.v. will no longer work due to technology progressing at a rapid way. The best step to take is to take away all electronics such as Iphone, Ipod, Ipad, laptop, t.v., tablet, and housephone. Im not assuming that all children have these electronics, likewise, other things that can be take away are being around friends, going to the movies, out to eat, or having sleep overs. Granted, your child will be highly upset and will not want to speak to you for quite some time. When this does occur, you should simply give your child time and space smothering your children too much may cause them to keep up their tantrum or horrible attitude. As long as you set up clear cut rules on what you want as a parent, then your child will eventually act accordingly. There will be times when your children will simply refuse to do as you ask no matter the punishment. When this time comes, give your children even more space, when you feel the time is right talk to them in a nice and calm voice, let them know that you are their parent and not their friend, and it shouldn't hurt for them to help you out every once in a while. Let your child know that the electronics they have and other activities that you allow them to do are privileges that can be easily take away. Basically, explain to your child why you expect them to do chores and when you want it done by, even offer a small allowance on a weekly basis depending on the attitude your child has, the chores they have done,and when they have them done by.

Source

Step 5:Continue To Give Rewards and Punishment

As the years go by your child will more than likely grow into a young adult. They have received the responsibility of doing chores as a child and now have the mentality to conquer bigger goals in life. They aren't moving out of the house quite yet due to college not starting until the fall. Since, your child is still living in your house, it is still your rules and they should still be doing chores. At this time, your child knows what to expect and knows what to do and exactly the rewards and punishments of doing the chores. Your child might complain a little on how they don't think they should do chores anymore but you should reprimand them that you are still the parent despite them being of age. Continuously giving them rewards and punishment while they are still in your house are a good thing in helping them to be a well-rounded individual, being focused, and knowing how to get things done.

Conclusion

Since, you are parent it is important to know why you are giving your children chores to begin with, willingly offering rewards and punishment accordingly. The importance of teaching your child to do chores, rewards, and punishments is ensuring that they learn responsibility, time management, and organization. As the parent, you are in control, stern but not strict, and able to communicate through your child as they continue to go off into the world as an adult. Since you are teaching your child these techniques, you will be making sure they avoid such things such as procrastination, laziness, and the inability to appreciate everything they have or are given. Similarly, your child will be more humble, motivated, and focused on accomplishing any task that they put their mind to.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • torrilynn profile image
      Author

      torrilynn 4 years ago

      @LadyFiddler you are more than welcome and i agree too many rewards could your child only doing the chore to obtain the reward and not necessarily learning how to be responsible

    • LadyFiddler profile image

      Joanna Chandler 4 years ago from On planet Earth

      very useful and interesting :) and yes i believe all kids should do chores and the ages you said to start from is great , parents should not wait to late but obey their parents command and do as told. As parents we should not be begging or bribing them either, yes a reward is a nice idea occassionaly but should not become a habit as kids won't want to do anything until there's an after reward. Also its about how you grow up a child and if you breed rotten brats they will always be a rotten bratt.

      Thanks for sharing

    • torrilynn profile image
      Author

      torrilynn 4 years ago

      @daisyjae

      Thanks for the feedback and i completely agree that kids should help out more especially as a parent you are buying them everything they want and need.

    • daisyjae profile image

      daisyjae 4 years ago from Canada

      Useful hub,it is important for kids to pitch in around the house. You don't do them any favors by doing everything for them!

    • torrilynn profile image
      Author

      torrilynn 4 years ago

      @shrutiwrites

      Thanks for the feedback and

      Im glad they worked.

    • shrutiwrites profile image

      Shruti Nagar 4 years ago from Mumbai, India

      Great tips! I've tried some of these already with my 9 year old (restricting TV and toys) and they do work.

    • torrilynn profile image
      Author

      torrilynn 4 years ago

      @DDE i agree with you that chores can be hard to explain to a child and that there shouldnt be too many rules but i feel as long as you keep an even tone and actually talk with your child it will help your child to understand why they are doing what they are doing

    • torrilynn profile image
      Author

      torrilynn 4 years ago

      @alexadry thanks for the feedback and yeah i agree with you i feel that the younger you start the more proned they are not to resist what you ask of them because they are at that thinking level yet where they could say no.

    • alexadry profile image

      Adrienne Janet Farricelli 4 years ago from USA

      Great hub! Voted up and useful. A while back before training dogs, I was a pre-school teacher. To teach the toddlers to do small, useful chores I learned to give them 2 choices" do you want to pick the red blocks or the blue ones?" It always worked as they didn't think of the option of saying "none of them!"

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Parenting can be tough if too many rules but when it comes to chores around the house such aspects have to taken into consideration.

    • torrilynn profile image
      Author

      torrilynn 4 years ago

      @rajanjolly yes the earlier you start off, the better it will be for you and your child

    • torrilynn profile image
      Author

      torrilynn 4 years ago

      @GailMeyers thanks and yeah i think starting off younger will make the situation easier for the parent and for the child to understand.

    • Gail Meyers profile image

      Gail Meyers 4 years ago from United States

      My baby is grown with children, but I agree that starting early is important. It seems to make it easier on the child and the parent. Voted up.

    • rajan jolly profile image

      Rajan Singh Jolly 4 years ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

      Great suggestions. Giving chores should start off at a young age. Voted up.

    • torrilynn profile image
      Author

      torrilynn 4 years ago

      @moonlake thank you so much for the feedback i really appreciate it

    • moonlake profile image

      moonlake 4 years ago from America

      I think starting at a young age is the main thing to do. If you've never made them pick up their toys and suddenly tell them to at 10 I just don't think it will work. Voted up.

    • torrilynn profile image
      Author

      torrilynn 4 years ago

      @vinaya ghimire thanks and im glad you liked my article

    • Vinaya Ghimire profile image

      Vinaya Ghimire 4 years ago from Nepal

      I'm a single, but I know one day I will have kids. I need to learn every aspect of child care.

      Cheers

    • torrilynn profile image
      Author

      torrilynn 4 years ago

      @mhatter99 haha yeah it sounds as if you were very lucky indeed most kids do not like to do something every day that would seem to them to be wasting their time. Thanks

    • Mhatter99 profile image

      Martin Kloess 4 years ago from San Francisco

      Thank you for this. I guess I was lucky. My kid just took over.

    • torrilynn profile image
      Author

      torrilynn 4 years ago

      @emmaharvey thank you i appreciate your feedback and yes you should try it sooner rather than later so your child gets use to it.

    • Emma Harvey profile image

      Emma Harvey 4 years ago from Berkshire, UK

      Good hub - I might have to try these tips on my 10 year old. I need to be persistent - but then he will benefit in the end. Up and useful.