Tips on How to Get Your Child To Do Chores
Step 1: Communicate With Your Child
The biggest thing in having a relationship with your child or children is to communicate with them. Try to avoid yelling and instead subsitute that with explanations on why you are doing what your doing. Letting your children know that you are in control is an important part of being a parent but it is also critical that you don't speak to them as if theyare miniscule. Before you start giving your children chores or cleaning tasks, you should always have a discussion with them on what you want them to do and why they are doing it. As a result, your child may be proned to do as you ask, rather than throw a tantrum and refuse to do their chores. Also, explain to your child when you expect the chores or cleaning to be done by and even offer a reward such as ice cream or cake in return. On the other hand, I don't believe you should offer a reward everytime simply because a child can get tired of receiving cake and ice cream and what something different instead, which would then backfire on the parent, since the child could then refuse to do the chores from then on out. Only every once in a while, should a parent offer a reward and when you see that your child has done what you have asked compliment them. To a child compliments do go a long way and really encourage the child to continue doing as you ask simply because they know that will make their parents which intune makes them happy.
Step 2: Start At A Young Age
As I've mentioned above, I've noticed how time after time its seems to be getting much harder for parents to get their children to do as they say. One of the main tasks that children do not like to do is chores. I believe as a parent, in order to get your child or children to clean right away, you must start off at a young age. I believe around the age 5 or 6 is a good age to start off giving your children chores. As a parent, at this age, it would be best to start off with small chores such as putting your toys away, throwing away trash, and putting your dish onto your counter. When your teaching your child at this young age, some sort of responsibility, it will help them to take on more responsibility as they get older. If you believe that a child should be younger than 5 or 6 then that is fine but I might add at a younger age the child tends to be more unrestrained, having a short attention span. If you believe that a child should be older than 5 or 6 then that is also fine as well but I might add as a child gets older around 8 or 9 they tend to want to spend the night at a friend's house or play sports instead of coming home to do chores that they really don't want to do. Therefore, I chose around the age 5 or 6 because they tend not to have such a short attention span such as a 4 year old or such eagerness to go and play with friends such as a 9 year old. Even if the 5 or 6 year old wanted to go with friends, you could easily explain to them why they can not and how they have to do their chores first. At first, you might receive some sort of negative reaction but as time goes by things will get better, as long as you keep a nice sweet tone to your voice and your talking to your children and not yelling at them.
Step 3: Limit The Use of Toys as Punishment
There will be sometimes when your trying to get your child to do something that you want them to do and they just simply refuse no matter what reward or positivity they may receiv by doing the task. The best way to go about these tantrums is to punish your child whenever they are not doing a task you want them to do. In psychology, punishment would be seen as operant conditioning or a method of learning through rewards and punishments for behavior. There are considered to be two types of punishment known as positive punishment and negative punishment. In the example of the child refusing to do as you ask and you taking away his toys would be negative punishment. A way to go about using positive punishment instead is to simply give your child a warning that you will take away their toys,if they do not do as you say. Over time, this will reduce your children or child from throwing tantrums and refusing and actually help them to learn what is the wrong thing to do and what is the right thing to do. After a while a child will learn to behave as you would want them to through operant conditiong; a method of rewards and punishment.
Step 4: Limit The Use of Electronics as Punishment
As your child grows older, there would naturally be more resistance to do as their parents ask due to puberty, hormones, and other such things. Since you are the parent and not the friend, you should act accordingly. By this stage, your child should be doing more chores such as washing dishes, vaccumming, taking out the trash, mopping, and doing laundry. The age that your child should start doing these things is around 8 or 9. I choose this age because if you started off with the smaller things while your child was younger, your child will be more prone to helping, knowing that you are happy whenever they do as you say. On the other hand, as your child begins to enter the puberty stage, resistance seems to be high and not considering the feelings of the parents seems to be at an all time high as well. Therefore, taking away something such as toys or t.v. will no longer work due to technology progressing at a rapid way. The best step to take is to take away all electronics such as Iphone, Ipod, Ipad, laptop, t.v., tablet, and housephone. Im not assuming that all children have these electronics, likewise, other things that can be take away are being around friends, going to the movies, out to eat, or having sleep overs. Granted, your child will be highly upset and will not want to speak to you for quite some time. When this does occur, you should simply give your child time and space smothering your children too much may cause them to keep up their tantrum or horrible attitude. As long as you set up clear cut rules on what you want as a parent, then your child will eventually act accordingly. There will be times when your children will simply refuse to do as you ask no matter the punishment. When this time comes, give your children even more space, when you feel the time is right talk to them in a nice and calm voice, let them know that you are their parent and not their friend, and it shouldn't hurt for them to help you out every once in a while. Let your child know that the electronics they have and other activities that you allow them to do are privileges that can be easily take away. Basically, explain to your child why you expect them to do chores and when you want it done by, even offer a small allowance on a weekly basis depending on the attitude your child has, the chores they have done,and when they have them done by.
Step 5:Continue To Give Rewards and Punishment
As the years go by your child will more than likely grow into a young adult. They have received the responsibility of doing chores as a child and now have the mentality to conquer bigger goals in life. They aren't moving out of the house quite yet due to college not starting until the fall. Since, your child is still living in your house, it is still your rules and they should still be doing chores. At this time, your child knows what to expect and knows what to do and exactly the rewards and punishments of doing the chores. Your child might complain a little on how they don't think they should do chores anymore but you should reprimand them that you are still the parent despite them being of age. Continuously giving them rewards and punishment while they are still in your house are a good thing in helping them to be a well-rounded individual, being focused, and knowing how to get things done.
Since, you are parent it is important to know why you are giving your children chores to begin with, willingly offering rewards and punishment accordingly. The importance of teaching your child to do chores, rewards, and punishments is ensuring that they learn responsibility, time management, and organization. As the parent, you are in control, stern but not strict, and able to communicate through your child as they continue to go off into the world as an adult. Since you are teaching your child these techniques, you will be making sure they avoid such things such as procrastination, laziness, and the inability to appreciate everything they have or are given. Similarly, your child will be more humble, motivated, and focused on accomplishing any task that they put their mind to.