ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

WHO KEEPS WHISPERING?

Updated on November 21, 2010

Let's Clean House!

Perhaps all of us have little voices or whisperings inside our head. Perhaps if they are part of a psychotic process, you might be considered lucky, and have half a chance of controlling these voices with medication.

Some of us have little voices as a result of intense emotional experiences or trauma. The voices represent the “split off” parts of self, the part of myself that had to “go away” in order to survive.

These “voices” may warn and caution us so we do not get hurt again. So they may tell us, consciously or unconsciously, not to tell someone “I love you,” because the last person you said that to, left you or dropped dead. These voices may warn you constantly of non-existent dangers or lead you to believe that the dangers are fatal when, in fact, they are just “normal” risks of every day living.

Then there are the voices that are a result of “introjection.” We take in these voices and make them a part of the on-going conversation between the thinking brain and the emotional brain. For more detail, check out the blog

http://hubpages.com/hub/HOW-OUR-BRAIN-WORKS.

The normal dialogue between these two parts of the brain becomes undermined by a myriad of input from the big people in our lives. These introjected voices say things like, “you’re a liar....you’re manipulative....you’re fat....you’re ugly....you’re stupid....you do not see what you think you see....I was not driving erratically.....you do not smell anything funny on my breath....you will never amount to anything....you do not deserve anything.....” The voices are endless.

I struggle every day with these voices. For me, they are more like whisperings, almost undetectable to the ear, but LOUD to my unconscious brain. Unfortunately, the whisperings have invaded my soul, my heart, and even my muscles.

I am fully aware that these “whisperings” have been passed down for generations. I know many a story from my Dad’s life and his father’s life (and his father and his father) that have given rise to these whisperings. So even though, I know these stories backwards and forwards, let’s call them the transgenerational pathways, and even though I know the whisperings are totally false, for whatever reason, I continue to invite them into my daily experience.

And why? Good question!

The whispering for me follow a common theme. “It’s not in the cards for you....you don’t deserve.....You’re not good enough....”

So today, I decided enough was enough. Yes, that too is one of those whisperings, but today, I will use it to my advantage. I am going to clean house--evict those pesky pesty whisperings. I also know that I may have to evict them again tomorrow, and again the next day, but I am committed now.

And one more thing.  I just noticed the picture below which is of clouds seen through pine trees in the mountains, at night.  I love this picture for many reasons.  But just now, when I looked at it, I saw lips, teeth, a mustache perhaps, the mouth is not pleasant, and whispering!  Can you see it?  If not, do not report me!

Insanity

Who Keeps Whispering?

The annoying voice,
Well,
It’s not even a voice.
It’s a whisper,
A deadly whisper.

Is today the day?
It’s as good a day
As any.

Who are you?
Where are you?
Yes, you are
Like a little mouse
Who incessantly scratches
Till I stop to take notice.

Then you elude me
Only to whisper
Once again
When I am most vulnerable.

Not good enough!
Not good enough!
It’s not in the cards for you.
You do not deserve....”

Today,
I will hunt you down,
Searching every nook
Every cranny
Till I find you.

You can no longer live
Here,
Neither in my heart,
Nor my soul,
Nowhere in my gentle body
Is there room for you.
Nowhere in my consciousness
Or unconsciousness.

It’s time,
Time to pack up your cruel whispers
And leave
Me,
And all the little ones
Inside me,
Alone.
And leave
All the people most dear to me
Alone.

You have wreaked enough destruction.
Too many
Have believed your insidious taunts.

Yes,
I see you, now.
And yes,
You must go.

I recognize you
Now.
You have plagued
And preyed upon
Generations
Before me.

You have slowly destroyed
My loved ones
Like a cancer.

And so now I pray.
Bidding God’s healing blessing
Upon all those
Whose soulful lives
You have somehow
Been allowed to erode.

Parents and grandparents,
Sisters and brothers.
Husbands and wives.

Go now.
It is over.

I will live
The rest of my days
Speaking
The truth.

“We ARE good enough.
We DO deserve....
It IS in the cards for us....”

I will allow no one,
No one,
To speak or whisper
“It’s not in the cards for you...
You don’t deserve....
You’re not good enough...,”
Such insanity,
Ever
Again.

It’s over.


Addendum

Check out the comment from palmerlarryray. It reminded me that I am nurturing some very loving and supportive voices in my head. I believe one of them might even be God!! I know, I need to stay on the meds!! But I'm not on any!! I know I need to be!!

So I will get another blog up here soon. A sequel about the "good guys"!! the good voices.

THANKS FOR READING.

working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)