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Where Does the Water Taste Better?

Updated on March 14, 2018
DzyMsLizzy profile image

A lifelong reader & writer, Liz writes poetry; articles on this, & other sites; & playing with words. She also enjoys movies & reviewing.

A Long-Standing Disagreement

My mother and I used to have an ongoing, but friendly battle over which water faucet in the house produced the best-tasting water. I know: what a silly thing to have a disagreement about, right?

Well, this particular discussion went all the way back to my childhood, and did not end until my mother's passing back in 1998. In the middle of that time span, however, my mother, very talented with humorous poetry, gave this "battle" its own voice with the following poem:

Ultimate Innanity

I'm in disagreement with my daughter

At issue is merely drinking water.


One thing we concede without any griping,

The water arrives in one set of piping.


The point of view that I'm always pitchin'--'

It always tastes best when drawn in the kitchen.

Better in the kitchen?
Better in the kitchen?

And she will come back with, "straighten your thinking--

The bathroom water is better for drinking!"

Better in the bathroom?
Better in the bathroom?

Converse opinions with no rhyme or reas'ning,

For certain no pipe can receive any seas'ning.


It's really the silliest bone of contention

That ever could claim any person's attention.


Still quibble continues 'twixt daughter and mother--

Yet why should one faucet taste better than t'other?!

The Final Word On the Matter...

As I said in the opening, this war of words waged on in fun for many, many years,

Only just recently did I have a sudden, blindingly brilliant flash of intuition to explain the entire puzzle; an epiphany, if you will. Too bad mother is not still with me to enjoy and understand (as she would) the explanation behind the "seas'ning" in the pipes.

You see, that house was a typical San Francisco home, with the house built above the garage. There were alleyways between the houses of approximately 6 feet in width. For houses that faced east-west, as ours did, one of those alleyways was on the north side of each house, in pretty much perpetual shade.

That was my "AHA!" moment. When I realized that, I said to myself, "Of course!" The bathroom was on the north side of the house; hence the pipes did not get any ambient heating from the sun beating on the clapboards, while the kitchen was on the south side of the house, with the sink in the corner, at an angle facing south-west--the direction getting the maximum amount of sunlight. An early lesson in solar heating, if you will.

Now, here's the crux of the matter: all her life, my mother had very sensitive teeth, and even had to use special toothpaste to help alleviate that problem She did not like ice cold or chilled water. I, on the other hand, prefer ice water, or at least run very cold from the tap.

So--she preferred the kitchen water, which was a bit warmer, while I preferred the colder water from the bathroom sink. And, when you come right down to it, "flavorless" though water might actually be, warm water does, indeed, have a slightly different taste than cold water.

Mystery solved!

Mother? Can you see this? I've figured it all out! Aren't you proud of me?

Poem "Ultimate Inanity"

penned by Kathy Plamondon, in about 1980 - 85.

Note: As an only child, I am sole heir to my mother's property, intellectual and otherwise. I therefore now hold any copyrights and have carte-blanche to publish or distribute them as I see fit.

Sole heir... wait--no--I'm a female--that makes me an heiress! Well, la-de-dah! How about that!

© 2012 Liz Elias

Comments

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  • DzyMsLizzy profile image
    Author

    Liz Elias 4 years ago from Oakley, CA

    Hello, paxwill!

    Thanks for stopping by--I'm glad you like the poem and the solution of the mystery. ;)

    Your suggestion makes as much sense as any, because for many, many years, that house had old-fashioned galvanized pipe plumbing. It was only replaced with copper in the last ten or so years of my mom's life.

    I've toyed with creating a second account to publish mother's poems...but then again, I may just take them to an e-book platform.

  • profile image

    paxwill 4 years ago

    Very interesting! Is it possible that the extra heat on the south side caused the pipes to release more of their "seasoning" in the water? Your mother sounds a lot like mine, always writing humorous poems to explain the unexplainable.

  • DzyMsLizzy profile image
    Author

    Liz Elias 6 years ago from Oakley, CA

    Hello, JasonMarovich,

    Thanks very much. I'm glad you enjoyed the sleuthing through memory lane and Mother's poem.

  • Jason Marovich profile image

    Jason F Marovich 6 years ago from Detroit

    Fantastic read. I love the mystery-solving that goes along with the poem - thanks for letting us have a look at this beautiful memory.

  • DzyMsLizzy profile image
    Author

    Liz Elias 6 years ago from Oakley, CA

    Hi there, Stephanie--

    I'm glad you liked the article and poem--poor Mother would now be outnumbered. ;-) Thanks very much.

  • Stephanie Henkel profile image

    Stephanie Henkel 6 years ago from USA

    Cute poem! Like you, I prefer very cold water, so I'd like the water from the bathroom tap, too! Enjoyed your hub so much!

  • DzyMsLizzy profile image
    Author

    Liz Elias 6 years ago from Oakley, CA

    Hi, Seeker7,

    So glad you enjoyed this bit of nonsense. I know what you mean about different area waters. The very worst water I have ever tasted in my life was in San Diego, California. It was a very heavy metallic, mineral taste.

    San Francisco has great water. Where I live now, it is almost as good as San Francisco, but a mile away in the next town where my daughter lives, the water is nasty...just as step above San Diego's.

    Thanks so much for the comment and the vote!

  • Seeker7 profile image

    Helen Murphy Howell 6 years ago from Fife, Scotland

    LOL!!!What a great story and I loved the poem. I bet your Mum would be delighted that you had solved this age long puzzle. But you are right, water can 'taste' differently. When I go down to England from Scotland to visit friends, I drink bottled watered from the supermarket - I honestly can't stand the taste of their water down there, so you definately can tell differences especially in different countries.

    Great hub and a thoroughly enjoyable read!! Voted up!

  • DzyMsLizzy profile image
    Author

    Liz Elias 6 years ago from Oakley, CA

    hello, katrinasui--

    Thank you so much. I'm glad you enjoyed this bit of nonsense.

  • katrinasui profile image

    katrinasui 6 years ago

    So finally you solved the mystery:) DzyMsLizzy, i really enjoyed this hub. A very interesting and funny hub too.

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