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Why I hate smoke alarms today!

Updated on April 25, 2012

How many alarms are really needed?

Two alarms and the door bell.
Two alarms and the door bell.

The last thing I needed was a dead battery.

So I just finished a tough day of working outside all day repairing/refurbishing a porch swing. What I thought would take just a couple of hours was an all day project. It was very satisfying but I was now tired, hungry and really dirty. I came down to the house to start the grill cause I really wanted a steak and was gonna cook off some chicken breasts and tilapia for the rest of the weeks lunches.

I walk in the house to get the various meats and I hear that chirp. That undeniable sound that everyone who owns a smoke alarm hates, the need new battery chirp. There is no quieting it in my house since my electrician had the bright idea to not only have it battery powered but with electricity backup. I wanted to kill him several times over this.

So now I am in search of a dang 9 volt battery which I never have, ever. I searched everywhere and was even gonna steal it out of an alarm clock, but it was already gone. Crap. I called my nearest neighbor to see if I could borrow one just for the night and then get her a new one. I just didn't want to have to go to the store and I could eat dinner and relax just a little while. No answer from the phone. Dang. I started calling the local "stinky market", named because it had sulpher water and it always smelled like rotting eggs. They did have a battery and they were only 1.5 miles away, I head to the store with all 3 dogs since they want to tag along for the ride.

I get to the store, wait in line patiently (not really) and buy the million dollar battery. Little stores like this rape you over the price because they can. You really don't want to drive that 15 miles into town so you'll pay whatever the price and that is exactly where I was tonight. Happy I head home with my new battery. I check the chicken on the grill, flip it over and then head in to change that chirping battery. I climb up the ladder and remove the bad battery and install the new one. I'm happy now and can continue to prepare my sumptuous meal and relax. CHIRP. No it can't be why did it chirp. Maybe it needs a second to reset itself. CHIRP. Oh you have got to be kidding. The battery is no good. Who could sell a bad battery. I call the store and ask about a new current battery. They have one and I will be right there.

This time I do not take the dogs as I am getting really crabby since I am really hungry, tired and not a happy camper. I walk in, wait in line (impatiently) get the difference back in change from a cheaper battery and return the non working one. I drive towards home when I neighbor waves me down. It's my sweet neighbor Wayne who I haven't seen in ages, yet I'm starving. He proposes marriage to me, he's almost 80 and I politely decline and I head home.

I check the chicken again, head into the house, climb up the ladder and replace the battery, AGAIN. CHIRP. No f***ing way I shout to the ceiling. How could this be. I pull the package out of the trash and it says it's good till 2016, what could be the matter. I pace the room and go out to remove the chicken before it burns. I place the steaks and fish on the grill making a note to watch them carefully since I hate over cooked steaks, let alone fish.

I come back in the kitchen, pacing still mad at every smoke alarm ever made when it dawns on me "Zoe's (daughter) bedroom is right next door could it have a smoke alarm too? I walk in and yes she too has a smoke alarm and yes it is CHIRPING. Crap now I realize that I replaced the wrong battery and I can't remember which are the bads ones and if I even have a good one to put in the dang thing. I am even more frustrated than before. I check the fish and steaks, all is well thankfully.

I start to shove every battery I had from the very begining. After the second try a miracle happens, it stops chirping. What a relief I can now tend to my dinner, relax and take a nice long hot shower. Leave it to me to now even realize which smoke alarm was chirping. I'd feel bad if I was mean to the store clerk but I wasn't. I'm just glad I was an adult (sort of) about it and not over reacting and making a big seen, except in my kitchen. Once again it teaches me to slow down and try to figure stuff out without getting crazy. Glad I don't have to hear that CHIRP again, but wait I have 5 more smoke alarms in the house. Is it time to replace them all? Note to self "buy tons of 9 volt batteries just in case".

I don't like you today.


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    • karmicfilly profile image

      karmicfilly 6 years ago from Franklin, TN

      Karen, I know who doesn't do this? I just can't believe it took me so long to figure it out.

      Pam, I have so many smoke alarms there is no way I'm gonna die in a fire. David Gatlin (electrician) loves me as he make sure he wired my house above and beyond the call of duty.

    • profile image

      Pam 6 years ago

      Thanks for replacing the battery. We love you and are glade you are safe!!!!!

    • profile image

      Karen Phillips 6 years ago

      I've done this so many times. Got a kick out of reading your post!