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Top 3 Tips on How To Prepare For Winter in Canada

Updated on December 5, 2011

Winter in Canada


The lovely staff at HubPages have asked their members to share with you some tips on how to prepare for the winter season. Being from the Great White North, I thought I would list the 3 simple steps that I personally take when I feel Old Man Winter’s approach.

Step 1 - Cry

Crying is a useful first step, not only because it releases anguish and dread for the upcoming winter season, but it also gets rid of excess tears which would no doubt freeze in your body otherwise. It is important to note that when wiping away your tears, do should NOT use tissue paper that has been layered with any type of moisturizing lotion, as that will only add to the potential icing danger.

Step 2 – Book a Trip South

While the Gods have cursed Canadians with a yearly ice age, they have also bestowed upon mankind the gift of flight. From any major city across the land, airplanes leave each day to exotic tropic locations where the only ice that can be found is the type that floats tranquilly in a refreshing alcoholic beverage.

Step 3 – Fake an Injury At Work

A wonderful extended vacation can get very expensive. In addition, as employment law and human rights tribunals have not yet recognized the inalienable right to ‘tan and keep warm’, employers are often reluctant to let workers depart for months on end. The only rational solution is to fake an injury at work and then claim long term disability benefits. For those who might be adverse to such a technically ‘illegal’ activity, please keep in mind that you may also choose to sustain a real injury. Heavy equipment can be found at most workplaces, and with a little the help from gravity, you could be well on your way to some sun and fun.

Winter in Canada....

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    • KeithTax profile image

      Keith Schroeder 5 years ago from Wisconsin

      Great advice for a Wisconsin guy, too.

      "Oh! My back! MY BACK!"

      "Honey. Ya got da tickets, hey?"

    • Simone Smith profile image

      Simone Haruko Smith 5 years ago from San Francisco

      Heck, even though San Francisco isn't exactly the coldest place on earth, I still think this is some awesome advice!! Let me see... if I just... accidentally fall out of the third floor window....

    • Greek One profile image
      Author

      Greek One 5 years ago

      2nd floor is ok.. you just want to look as you cant get around and function...

      if you go for a 'third floorer' (as we in the business call it), you might require a cast or something....

      and that could cause tan lines or sand stuck in places it best not be

    • Uninvited Writer profile image

      Susan Keeping 5 years ago from Kitchener, Ontario

      Love it...

    • Denise Handlon profile image

      Denise Handlon 5 years ago from North Carolina

      LOL Enjoyed! Well...I am in the south so I guess my trip will take me to the other side of the equator! Oh, and I do plenty of #1 when I live up north...

    • RedElf profile image

      RedElf 5 years ago from Canada

      Wonderful advice! You have inspired me to come up with a few fun ideas of my own on Winterizing!

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