Top 3 Tips on How To Prepare For Winter in Canada
Winter in Canada
The lovely staff at HubPages have asked their members to share with you some tips on how to prepare for the winter season. Being from the Great White North, I thought I would list the 3 simple steps that I personally take when I feel Old Man Winter’s approach.
Step 1 - Cry
Crying is a useful first step, not only because it releases anguish and dread for the upcoming winter season, but it also gets rid of excess tears which would no doubt freeze in your body otherwise. It is important to note that when wiping away your tears, do should NOT use tissue paper that has been layered with any type of moisturizing lotion, as that will only add to the potential icing danger.
Step 2 – Book a Trip South
While the Gods have cursed Canadians with a yearly ice age, they have also bestowed upon mankind the gift of flight. From any major city across the land, airplanes leave each day to exotic tropic locations where the only ice that can be found is the type that floats tranquilly in a refreshing alcoholic beverage.
Step 3 – Fake an Injury At Work
A wonderful extended vacation can get very expensive. In addition, as employment law and human rights tribunals have not yet recognized the inalienable right to ‘tan and keep warm’, employers are often reluctant to let workers depart for months on end. The only rational solution is to fake an injury at work and then claim long term disability benefits. For those who might be adverse to such a technically ‘illegal’ activity, please keep in mind that you may also choose to sustain a real injury. Heavy equipment can be found at most workplaces, and with a little the help from gravity, you could be well on your way to some sun and fun.