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Garden Gnomes With An Attitude

Updated on June 16, 2015
Virginia Allain profile image

I find fairy gardens enchanting and work the fairy figures and petite plants into my miniature landscaping. Join me, it's lots of fun.

You have to laugh when you see these characters.
You have to laugh when you see these characters. | Source

These Aren't Your Typical Garden Gnomes

The garden gnomes you're about to see aren't your typical ones. Not by a long shot!

The gnomes featured here belong to a select group which has an aggressive attitude and an utter disregard for civility and proper manners. These gnomes are the 'Bad Boys' of Gnomeville.

You expect garden gnomes to be cute and they are charming but watch out. They're like that cute guy you meet at a bar. They play hard and party harder and they're sneakier than a fox. These gnomes are nothing but trouble and if you know what's good for you you'll keep them as far away from your garden as possible!

If you do give in and get one of these for your yard, be prepared and keep an eye on them.

Biker Gnome Couple

The Party Gnome

5:00 Somewhere Tropical Party Gnome Garden Statue

5:00 Somewhere Tropical Party Gnome Garden Statue
5:00 Somewhere Tropical Party Gnome Garden Statue

This gnome lives life on the fringe. He sleeps until noon, has beer and pop tarts for breakfast, showers and hits the bar by 5. Well, it's 5 o'clock somewhere, right>

Let this guy get a foothold in your garden and it's hard telling what'll happen. Just be careful where you place him and keep him away from fragile plants and flowers. Remember - we don't buy beer, we only rent it.

The following video is pretty scary. It was put together by the folks at the Utah State University Extension Service and after you watch it you'll see why I'm being so cautious about this particular species of gnomes!

 

What's Better Than One Beach Bum Gnome?

How about three of them...

Trio of Beach Bum Gnome Figures

Set of 3 Gnomes on Tropical Vacation
Set of 3 Gnomes on Tropical Vacation

Place these about the garden but don't be surprised if you find empty beer cans all over your yard each morning.

 

Gnome Management in the Garden - Video - Dealing with problems gnomes

The following video is pretty scary. It was put together by the folks at the Utah State University Extension Service and after you watch it you'll see why I'm being so cautious about this particular species of gnomes!

Watch Out for Garden Battle Gnomes - They can be aggressive

Garden Battle Gnome with Hammer 4"
Garden Battle Gnome with Hammer 4"

This one reminds me of Thor, God of Thunder or some other rampaging viking. He's obviously on the hunt for something.

I hope the chipmunks and squirrels are ready for this one.

 

The Decapitated Gnome

Headless Garden Gnome - This is what can happen if you have too many battle gnomes or zombie gnomes around

Headless Garden Gnome Halloween Decor
Headless Garden Gnome Halloween Decor

At first glance a visitor might not see what the problem is. Looking closer, they are sure to be grossed out by this beheaded figure.

 

Would You Put This in Your Garden?

Vote in the Poll

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The Overly Shy Gnome

Hiding Gnome

Hiding Gnome Garden Statue Sculpture Yard Decor
Hiding Gnome Garden Statue Sculpture Yard Decor

This one is hiding, but not very well. I think he's rather cute.

 

Before You Go On...

Problem behavior in gnome figures

Now that you've seen the video maybe you can understand my concern. If a gnome can travel up to 3 or 4 miles a day, and actually thumb a ride when he wants to go even farther then I think it's safe to assume that soon gardens all across our great nation are going to be facing a terrible blight.

Soon, there will be devastation as far as the eye can see. Gnomes harvesting the foliage from our trees. Gnomes eating our root crops before they even poke their heads above ground. Gnomes ravaging our flowers and shrubs and living in our houseplants at night!

On behalf of gardeners everywhere I urge you to use caution when propagating this particular species of garden gnome. The very future of our planet may depend on your ability to keep these gnomes in check once they're inside your garden!


Garden Gnomes with Attitude - Available from Amazon

I have a friend who has very unfriendly neighbor. She's thinking one of these gnomes placed adjacent to their yard is just the right touch to show her opinion of their behavior.

Although this has been discontinued by the manufacturer, you can still get them from this source.

Mooned by a Garden Gnome

Fun Mooning Garden Gnome Figurine for Decoration at Home, Garden, Backyard and More
Fun Mooning Garden Gnome Figurine for Decoration at Home, Garden, Backyard and More

Well, now this one is really rude. Don't put it in your garden if your great-aunt Gertrude might visit. I guess you could hide it on those occasions.

Tacky, tacky, tacky... but not boring.

 

How Would You Rate This One? 1 star for pretty awful - 5 stars for awesome

1 out of 5 stars from 1 rating of Mooning Gnome

His and Her Biker Gnomes - These can also be bought separately

These might make a great wedding present for your biker friends. They will display them with pride in their front yard.

32 In. Tall Gnoschitt and Gnofun Biker Gnome Statues
32 In. Tall Gnoschitt and Gnofun Biker Gnome Statues

This pair can travel around with you and attend biker rallies with you or go to your favorite biker hangout with this fun-loving duo.

 

Zombie Garden Gnome

Who knew that zombies would attack innocent garden gnomes. Check your gnome every now and then to be sure it hasn't turned into a zombie gnome.

The Bottom Line Is...

Don't be fooled by their cheery red hats and their cute smiles.

Garden gnomes can be very aggressive and invasive. Get control of your gnomes before your gnomes take control of your garden!

© 2012 Virginia Allain

Have you seen these gnomes you have in your garden?

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    • Melissa Miotke profile image

      Melissa Miotke 

      6 years ago from Arizona

      I don't have a lawn gnomes but I do like them. They're pretty funny.

    • WhiteOak50 profile image

      WhiteOak50 

      6 years ago

      Gotta love the gnomes! I have a few outside, but I have a few that refuse to go outside so they stay inside the house with all of my lucky bamboo plants.

    • profile image

      marsha32 

      6 years ago

      These sure got a chuckle out of me.

    • profile image

      anonymous 

      6 years ago

      You bring up such a serious point here in regard to those garden gnomes with an attitude, you simply must get control of them before they take control of you, done with delight...and a little extra attitude!

    • Scarlettohairy profile image

      Peggy Hazelwood 

      6 years ago from Desert Southwest, U.S.A.

      These garden gnomes are great! I like them better than the "sweet" ones.

    • profile image

      Terrie_Schultz 

      6 years ago

      These are hilarious! Love 'em!

    • LisaAuch1 profile image

      Lisa Auch 

      6 years ago from Scotland

      Yes, I have few and I know they would just love these! in fact I think my gnomes are ready for a PARTY! these are so cute

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