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3 Rules of Dating Every Man Should Live By

Updated on September 12, 2008

A lot of successful ‘pick-ups' end with the guy and girl swapping numbers. Inevitably, it's usually the guy who has to make the first call. The problem most guys face is what to say when they make it. They don't know whether the girl will still be open to the idea of seeing them, whether they should blatantly just try and arrange a date, etc.

How To Handle the First Call

A really effective way of blowing this whole problem out of the water is to get the first call out of the way as soon as possible. And I'm not talking about the next day. Try to perform what's known as an interval close, which means swapping numbers halfway through your conversation and not at the end of it. Then call the girl the same day, WHILE you're with her. Go to the bathroom, for example, and give her a fun call asking whether or not she wants you to bring her back a present. Then list the options. There's a guy's sock in the corner of the bar's bathroom. There's some hand soap. There's tissue paper - fresh AND used, depending on what she wants. Just play around. The real purpose of this call is to get her used to talking to you on the phone, so that when you call her the next day or whenever, it isn't the first time you've chatted while not in each other's direct company. This totally eradicates those first weird feelings of talking to a girl on the phone for the first time, simply because it's NOT the first time you'll have talked to each other on the phone.

Now, on the subject of WHEN to call a girl. It's a highly contested question. The best rule of thumb is: call her when you feel like it. As long as you're casual and continue to maintain a persona that clearly exhibits high social value, she won't care how many days have passed between you first meeting each other and you calling her.

Those First Few Dates

Generally speaking, the best way to first meet a girl after you've closed and spoken on the phone, for example, is NOT to arrange some kind of traditional date. Forget about fixing up a meal or going for a coffee, for the following reasons:

1. These kinds of dates are clichéd and over-used

2. They don't allow you enough to room to have fun together in a way that will guarantee the girl will want to see you again

Instead, suggest you do something together that's less conventional. Stuff like her coming with you to look for interesting stuff that's washed up on the beach, joining you to try out a brand new sushi bar that's recently opened up, coming with you and a few of your friends to go kayaking or paint-balling. Whatever your first meet up is, make sure it's fun and slightly unusual. You want to continue to be an interesting and impulsive guy in her mind and not a run-of-the-mill man who conforms to the boring rules of dating so many lesser men live by.

Keep a Busy Social Calendar

One of the worst things a guy can do when he first starts dating a girl is plan his weekly social calendar around her. Usually he won't realize that's what he's doing. He'll just naturally and subconsciously make room to see her whenever she wants to see him or at all the times that are best for her. When you're in a relationship with a girl, especially when you're just starting out, you need to keep your social calendar full of other things ASIDE from her. Doing this reinforces your image as a high value male who is social, independent and generally of high value. By straight away catering to all of the needs of your new girlfriend, you undermine the sense of high social value you worked so hard in the beginning to establish. So, remember, it's just like in those first few minutes you met her: reward her as she rewards you and only make changes FOR her when she deserves and has earned them.

Dating is an art-form all of its own. It should be considered the big brother of attraction and seduction.

To learn a lot more about attraction, seduction, and dating, check out the Black Belt Seduction blog, which is updated daily with new tips, tactics and techniques.


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