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Bachelor Jason ep 3

Updated on January 20, 2009
 

What in the crap was around Stephanie's neck during her date? It looked like Animal from The Muppets had wrapped himself around her neck and was clinging to her for dear life. Now, I'm nice to Stephanie, but how many times are we going to hear the story about her husband? She even mentioned that she doesn't want to focus on that, she's there to meet Jason. So basically, the producers need to stop prompting her to bring that up.

Sophia ran right straight into Stephanie with her head like a bull. Poor thing! Was Jason crying on the beach? I'm not sure if that's sweet or ridiculous, it's been 6 days since they last saw each other. Obviously, I don't have kids. "Those were the happiest tears I've ever felt." Did you not cry you're your own child was born, Jason? Stephanie was "estatic" to see her kid. That's not how you pronounce that word, FYI. Meanwhile, that poor kid was getting dragged by these two adults because they were more excited about Legoland than she was! She was like, "I'm 4, where the crap are we?"

Ty and Sophia love life, toys, and playing. Yep, sounds pretty normal. Glad they aren't into knives, (ahem Maddox Jolie-Pitt) guns, and torturing animals. That really wouldn't be that fun to be the only kid in an amusement park. Especially while Jason and Stephanie were eating and she was playing in the water by herself. I think Stephanie looks like a semi-normal person when she's relaxed and casual, but her frightening factor increases exponentially as she dresses up. She still needs to let those eyebrows grow out and maybe deflate those cheek implants. I think he just likes Stephanie as a friend/fellow support group member. Sophia has really good manners, so good job there, Stephanie. Why did Jason have an extra rose at the end of the date when they said goodbye to Sophia?

Jillian and Melissa are going on yet another date. Hmmmm. Meanwhile, Kari is threatened by Natalie and Lauren? I think she needs to reevaluate that thought.

The money is going to breast cancer awareness? Not research? Someone needed to write that bigger on the cue card. Shannon is a creepster, saying she likes to stare at him without his shirt. There are a lot of members from the IBTC (Itty Bitty Titty Committee) in this crowd. I wonder if that's how they selected who went on this date, you know, to keep it less obscene. I'm sure he thought it was "beautiful." Megan has got some big tee-tahs. She needed a lot more plaster than everyone else-put together.

Speaking of Megan, she's creepy. Who would want a chest plaster with a fetus painted on it? She thinks that's depth? What a freaking crack clown! That's not meaningful, that's demented. How many times did Jason say "breast" during this date? I'm sure that was a great date for him.

Holy goo! Double F, Melissa? He never saw that coming-Miss Cleo the psychic wouldn't have seen that coming. That's insanity! How did she stand up?

Did Megan really say that she has felt useless without people thanking her or praising God that she's in their life? Just when I think she's maxed her nightmare level, she opens her mouth again. She's truly an amazing creature...just not in a good way.

Nikki has nothing to say because she's boring. At least she looks like Sandra Bullock sometimes. I guess that works for some people. Being pretty and smart is not enough dear, having a personality would be a step in the right direction. I'm not talking about manufacturing one that you think Jason would be into, instead, try removing that stick from your butt and see what happens.

I'm pretty surprised that Natalie got the one-on-one date. It's a waste--he's not into blondes!

I think he has fun with Jillian. Personally, I don't trust those shifty-eyed Canadians, but they seem to have a good time. She kept repeating how she's comfortable in her own skin. We got it, you're into clich├ęs, Miss Originality. How many hours were they at that bust place? That was like 90% of the episode. I'm not shocked that Jillian got the rose. I'd only be surprised if she doesn't make it to the final four.

It's not a good idea to leave a guy waiting for you in a house with the 10 other girls he's dating. Why don't you just give your date away? Did she have to spray her tan back on for the special night? I could see how that would take up some extra time.

According to Jason, Natalie is fun and outgoing, materialistic, but does she have depth? Survey says: Nope! She's a trophy wife. She can say how much she hates the stereotypes, but then she backs them up. "I love bears." That could have been a good story, if she knew how to tell it. I think I dozed off during their date. It was unnecessary when Jason lied and said that was one of the best dates he's ever been on. He probably would have had more fun doing all of that by himself. It was pretty painful to watch how uninterested he was in her, while she was completely clueless. I think she got distracted by the shiny jewels. It happens. My favorite part was when he basically said, "I can't give you this rose, and you need to give back the diamonds before the big dude with the suitcase tackles you. Thanks and good luck."

They said Natalie "explored herself" a few too many times for my maturity level. At least she handled the whole situation like an adult with the very mature response, "Whatever." I thought Megan's comment was bad earlier in the episode, but then Natalie had to tack on "You don't feel attracted to me? Who do you think you are, God?" Seriously?

Naomi was "really putting it all out there" as they say. It's so awkward how the girls try to cram in serious bits about their lives into short conversations to show that they're interesting and more than just a pretty face. Like, I don't want to talk about of the other girls right now, so let me tell you my deepest darkest secret really quick so we make out and go back into the house. Mmmk?

Nikki's dress was ugly at elimination. She's super OCD and very much a Stepford wife.

Erica called him out for looking at her tiny boobies. I honestly believe he was just looking at the color of her dress.

Jason really went on a fishing expedition to find out who Natalie was referring to as the "not good people" in the house. Meanwhile, he wanted to set the record for how many girls he could possibly make out with in one night. Missions accomplished! Leave it to Megan to open her mouth and say she "would gracefully bow out" before adding that she's "much younger" than Natalie. That's classy. Too bad she looks about 10 years older than she really is.

Shannon, stop crying. You're annoying enough already.

Stephanie said the same thing to Jason that he said to DeAnna last year about being able to love again. Someone is a secret fan of the show!

Megan is a sketchbomb. Why was she listening to Lauren's conversation? Mind your bidness! How many times was the phrase "thrown under the bus" said during this episode? Someone call the Guinness people, we might have a new world record on our hands.

One thing can be said for good old Chris Harrison-he's always there to stir shit up. What a brilliant idea to have an open forum for the girls to list the people they hate and why. Who says reality TV isn't scripted?

For Shannon, alcohol + stress = vomit. Noted.

I think Molly is a sleeper cell. She could be one of those girls who sticks around a whole lot longer than people would expect. I really thought Kari would have made it far, but she was probably just a decoy. I think he really trusts Lauren, and that's why she'll stay in for awhile in spite of the drama. Megan, however, will also remain because she's good TV. I really don't think he likes her that much. He's not a fool.

I don't even have to change my lists below, no big shakeups this week.

Why do they play charades every season...could it be the producers stepping in yet again?

Girls to Watch:

Melissa

Jillian

Lauren

Need to go home:

Nikki

Megan

Shannon

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