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Bachelor Jason ep 5

Updated on February 3, 2009

Jillian thinks that going to Seattle will bring a little "reality" to this situation. Interesting choice of words for someone on a reality show! She's definitely the biggest skeptic in the house, and I can't decide if that annoys me or if I actually respect her for that. Probably the former, since her accent drives me nuts.

I thought Jason's house was the one from Sleepless in Seattle until he pointed out the real one on the boat ride. They all kind of look the same there. I'm glad/surprised the references to that movie didn't pop up in every conversation. I would have had to throw a shoe at the TV.

When the girls got out of the limo at the hotel, he kissed Molly on the cheek and no one else. He definitely friend-hugged Big-Cheeks Stephanie.

I am not a fan of Naomi. "It's really impor'ant for us to have a one-on-one." And I thought Jillian's accent was annoying! Plus, Naomi played the role of the very needy girlfriend in this episode. She went from being one of the neutral pretty girls in the background to probably my least favorite. I guess it's really been like a 2 or 3 episode arc for her to reach this point, but I hope she goes home soon.

Melissa, on the other hand, can do no wrong. She's cute, not annoying, and she took the change of plans really well. I think some of those other girls would have wigged out. Stephanie wouldn't have, but I don't trust those other clowns. Stephanie probably would have sung a song about it. Freak.

Jason is a sneaky little pervert! I like how he snuck a little thigh stroke when Melissa's stretchy pants turned out to be booty shorts. Then the sly devil had to act out his hug from Ty during a story so he had an excuse to feel her up a bit.

Meanwhile the girls sat around the house and talked about how they would gladly give up the fantasy dates to stay at home with Jason. Uh huh. THAT'S why you chose to go on a show that is based on creating a fairy tale relationship that would never exist in real life. That's like saying you came on the show to make friends with all the girls and not to date the guy (thanks Jillian for proving my point). It's like they're in a pageant and all of them say they'd rather save puppies and bring world peace than just be adored for being pretty and teasing their hair just right. Suuuure. (Why do I sound so angry this week?)

I thought it was interesting that Melissa and Jason were supposed to go out to eat on their date, but when things got messed up, she ate pasta with the girls and he ate pizza with Ty. I'm glad to see the producers are taking care of the "talent." I wonder if craft services were offered at his house or if he was just expected to fend for himself.

Sometimes Naomi's face looks really huge. I will say that she does her hair so that the size of her face is very well hidden. That was something nice about her, right?

Nice moment over. What on earth was Stephanie wearing on the boat? A fur hoodie vest? I didn't realize that combination even existed. Frightening.

Also, here's something messed up I realized about Jason during this episode. He said he wasn't ready for anyone to meet Ty, yet he introduced himself to Sophia without asking Stephanie first.

How much blush does Stephanie go through in one day? It's very drag queenish!

What goes on at that radio station that they have a pink boa around just in case they need to blindfold someone? Is that bizarre to anyone else? Who can you really impress over the radio waves with brightly colored accessories? That's why I restrict my boa wear to Saturday nights on Sunset Blvd. They're made to be seen.

Stephanie wants to be seen as tender and soft. Maybe that's why she's so loaded with collagen. That's soft, right?

Jason sure did learn a few things about the girls in that interview-who's been reading Cosmo? That's all I have to say about that. I have no interest in any of their bedroom styles.

Why did Jillian thank Stephanie for loving whole-heartedly? Canadians are strange. I don't trust anyone who says their family is a "hoot."

What was the point of Naomi saying that she would have been jealous if she were in Melissa's shoes when Naomi's date card arrived? Naomi was jealous when Melissa got the first date. We're going around in circles, and it's making it difficult for me to write these sentences. Moving on.

I don't understand boat planes. I don't get their purpose or how they're romantic. I guess I'm just not sophisticated enough to be on The Bachelor. Why do all of his dates involve flying in anyway? He was supposed to go on a helicopter with Melissa before their plans got changed. Is that the cool thing to do in Seattle?

Naomi kept saying she "loved" Seattle, like she was trying to convince him to pick her. If she really loves the city that much, she should move there after Jason dumps her in the next episode (fingers crossed!).

Not only did they go flying on this date, but the good old romantic staple of chocolate strawberries made an appearance! I guess they thought they were spicing it up a bit by making fondue.

Whoever fed Naomi the line "Today I climbed a wall, and walls came down" should be fired. There was actual cheese gooing from my TV.

I thought it was pretty hilarious that Jillian and Melissa were hanging out in the bathtub in their bathing suits drinking some beer. Jillian actually earned a respect point!

It seems like Jason has to make everything dramatic at this point in the season because the girls are getting along too well and it's getting boring. There's no bitch to hate and there's no fighting, so he has to refuse to give out all the roses and pull girls away at every turn.

What I gathered from the talk with Jillian is that she's having a hard time there because she's in love with the other girls and not Jason. Has she ever watched reality TV? We want to see some catfights, not a lovefest! She and Jason had a pretty long kiss at the end of their conversation. I was hoping it was a goodbye kiss, but I'm not so lucky.

Jason's shirt/tie combination was terrible at the rose ceremony. Chris Harrison didn't look much better. Did the wardrobe person take the day off? Not a fan of Seattle?

Here's my assessment going into the rose ceremony: Stephanie is just a friend; Naomi is a too-young friend; Molly is like a college girlfriend; Jillian is the challenge; and Melissa is perfect for him. Go, Mel go!

It's interesting that the oldest girl left, Stephanie, wore a long dress, and Naomi, the youngest, went a little casual with a skirt/shirt combo instead of a dress. Nice tat on the shoulder, classy lady. Not to be biased, since Melissa has one on her lower back.

I think Stephanie has a future as a soap opera actress. I'm not even being mean.

What I really want to know is: when does DeAnna come back? The finale when it's too late? This season really needs an injection of drama, so I can see why they called her.

I hope that the family thing doesn't bite Melissa. I guess he was waiting for her to be imperfect in some way, and this might be it.

Girls to Watch:

Melissa-I'm sticking by her!

Needs to go home:



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