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Did He Cheat? Did She Cheat? What Is Cheating Anyway?

Updated on January 30, 2009

Ah, that tempting office crush...

From the classic and totally awesome movie 'Office Space'
From the classic and totally awesome movie 'Office Space'

This isn't your typical 'did he cheat' question. It's not a matter of wondering whether or not your man is sleeping with someone else, its wondering if what they're doing with someone else is technically cheating. Some cheaters try to argue their way out of being caught by claiming that what they were doing wasn't even cheating. If you're beginning to waver, or you're not sure yourself, just refer to this handy guide.  

Hope's Guide To Cheating

(Your mileage may vary. These are merely the opinions of one carbon based animal.) 


Is kissing another woman cheating? Yeah. There's a reason why Julia Roberts had that rule against kissing her Johns in 'Pretty Woman'. Kissing is an extremely intimate activity, sometimes more intimate than the act of lovemaking itself.  


Uh, yeah. Intercourse with another woman is cheating.


No, watching adult material is not cheating. It is fantasy. This is assuming that his habit is an occasional one and not an addiction which saps intimacy away from your relationship. Perhaps you can watch together, you might be surprised at how well things might turn out.

Cyber Relations

Are cyber relations cheating? Yes. Just ask any one of the millions of people whose partners eventually left them after 'falling in love' online. Cyber relations are perhaps some of the most dangerous forms of cheating because they are hard to detect (they don't exist in the 'real' world per se), they encourage wild fantasies that make everyday life seem even more dissatisfying than usual, and they encourage a disconnection from all the things that matter to a person. Note I am not speaking about Internet dating here, rather I am speaking about affairs conducted entirely in chat rooms and on webcams, far from the harsh bonds of the real.

Dirty Talk

Dirty talk with a person other than your partner is cheating. Even if you don't act on the talk, you're stimulating the pleasure centers in each other's minds, effectively doing the dirty without even touching.

Office Email / Messenger Flirtations

Not quite cheating, but going down a very slippery slope indeed. Office flirtation is a powerful thing, more than one couple has met in the office and more than one couple have been broken up by that little minx in accounting.  Keep your work crushes safely repressed in the recesses of your mind and get back to those TPS reports! 

Paying For It

Is it cheating if you hire a professional? Elliot Spitzer may not have thought so, but the answer is yes. Oh yes. Yes it is. If you're paying for it out of joint funds then its even worse, you're taking money from your partner and potentially your family to sate filthy desires that should be expressed openly and honestly or not at all.  


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    • KCC Big Country profile image

      Karen Curtis 9 years ago from Central Texas

      Good hub! Thanks for answering my hub request!