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Does Your Spouse Need To Lose Weight? How to Help Them Without Damaging Your Relationship

Updated on August 8, 2008

Have you made it your mission to "help" your spouse loose that extra weight?

He (since I am a woman I will refer to the male spouse, but this applies equally to both men and women) may have been a slim, handsome catch when you first got married, but with each year, he also added a little bit of weight, and after 15 - 20 years, you realize your spouse is no longer looking as good.

Is it fair for you to ask your spouse to lose weight? Is it the right thing to do? Or should you accept his gain weight as part of life, and growing older? I think it depends, and the way you approach this very sensitive issue will either help or backfire on you.

Change in appearance is inevitable as we age, but a large weight gain not only affects the person's looks; it also affects their health, and their future with their loved ones.

Things You Shouldn't Do

Don't Nag About His Weight: as simple as this sounds, it's probably one of the first things we do, and it will have the exact opposite result. Tell him he needs to stop eating sweets, and he'll go have some just to show he that he can. Tell him he needs to lose that weight one too many times, and he'll tune you out, not only when you talk about his weight, but other times as well.

Don't Buy Tempting Foods: actually, remove any temptation from your pantry. Seeing chips, cookies, and sodas every time he opens the pantry or fridge, is not going to help him. Instead, load up on fruits, and vegetables that can easily be had for a snack.

Don't Try to Guilt Him into Losing Weight: while it may work in the short run, it will do more damage than good. No one liked to be told or made to do something.

So, what CAN you do to help your spouse get back to a healthier weight? Fortunatley, there are plenty of ways to help.

Extremely Overweight People

Things You CAN & SHOULD Do

Have Healthy Food Ready When He is Hungry: having good, healthy food available is a great way to stay away from junk food. Instead of stopping by a fast food restaurant on your way how from work, stop by the fresh food stand and get some greens for a salad. Also, make sure you have healthy snacks like carrots, celery sticks, apples, etc., available for those times when you need a little boost of energy.

Take Care of Yourself: The power of a good example is huge! It gives the message without words.

Have Fun Together: you can burn calories together by swimming, bowling, hiking, jogging, ice-skating etc. Choose activities that you both enjoy and use them to get in shape together.

Have Breakfast Together: we live in such a fast paced world, and having coffee and a doughnut for breakfast is the norm. Breakfast is one of the most important meals of the day: it gets your metabolism going, and sets you up for the day. Make sure you have a healthy breakfast, even if you can only eat a little bit. Fruit Smoothies are great breakfast foods, and so easy to make!

Drink Lots of Water: Have lots of water available, instead of sodas and sweet juices. Everyone needs to drink 6 to 8 glasses of water daily to help hydrate the body, and get rid of toxins. Water also has no calories.

How Water Can Help You Lose Weight

Healthy Grocery Shopping - Nutrient Dense Foods To Stay Fit

Simple Breakfast Idea

Here is a quick recipe for a delicious smoothie. It only takes about 2 minutes to make.

  • 1/2 cup raspberries
  • 1/2 cup blueberries
  • 1/2 blackberries
  • 1 ripe banana
  • 1 cup of soy milk (or use skim milk if you prefer the real thing)

Place the above in blender until mixed well (about 1 minute).

Add a handful of nuts for proteine, and you have a yummy breakfast on the run: simple and healthy.

As you can see, there are many ways to help a spouse get back in shape. I'd love to hear your ideas and experiences.

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