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How To Cultivate Poise - A Guide To Elegance

Updated on February 23, 2008

Perfecting Poise

Elegance does not consist in putting on a new dress. ~ Coco Chanel.

The 'ladette' phenomenon currently pervasive in British society shows the sad demise of three crucial watchwords for the student of etiquette.

These words are Composure, Elegance and Dignity. Many young British women fall into the trap of believing that 'ladette' type behaviour makes them more desirable. Drinking alcohol to excess, wearing clothes that reveal too much flesh, flashing one's underclothes and falling over drunk are not qualities to aspire to.

Much better to hold onto one's dignity, you don't want to be remembered as 'that' girl. These 'inebriated' incidents will always be remembered by someone and may come back to haunt you many years later. Do you want to be remembered as the girl who flashed her boobs for all to see after drinking too much before passing out? Or worse! We have all seen someone a little too worse for wear.

When you cultivate composure and dignity you are in a stronger position to take on the world by stealth. You may not be noticed as immediately as your more louder, brash counterparts but your poise and charm will eventually win the day.

Good manners do not equal prudishness. You do not have to become a po-faced spoilsport. This is about knowing that there is a time and place for everything. A well mannered person can be wild in the bedroom with their lover or husband they just don't recount the details to other people! Certain emotions and feelings are for behind closed doors

Tips On Cultivating Poise

1. Remember the three watchwords - Composure, Elegance and Dignity.

2. Learn to manage your moods. Repress signs of boredom. Hide irritation and exasperation. Discard superiority and banish opinonated sermonizing.

3. Remember public displays of anger or emotion will diminish poise. Save strong emotions for when you are in private.

4. Outward appearances are everything. A well-turned out appearance - clothing, hygiene and personal grooming combined with a composed demeanour is exceedingly compelling.

5. Talking at the top of your voice, screeching and squawking are less alluring and enemies of the composed lady. Turn down your volume, especially in enclosed public places people are generally not interested in all you have to say!

Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure. ~ E W Dijkstra.


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    • profile image


      9 years ago

      want to read it

    • C.S.Alexis profile image


      10 years ago from NW Indiana

      A lost but not forgotten art form? Right on!!


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