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How should you deal with not getting what you want (at work or school, from friends or family, anything)?

Updated on April 11, 2008

You Didn't Get What You Want - Now What?

You had your hopes up and you didn't get what you want. Now what?

One option is to become depressed, decide that the world treats you unfairly, or claim that someone has made a mistake.

Perhaps a better option is to think back about the events that lead to your disappointment.

  • Did you prepare?
  • Did you do your best?
  • Did you have a chance to affect the outcome?
  • Were you generous with others in your expectations?
  • Did you put more importance on the outcome than you should have?

Next, decide to treat the setback as a temporary one. Sure some events like not being chosen prom queen or not getting a promotion that only opens every 30 years won't be coming around again. But even in those situations, you can make an alternate plan and begin working on it.

Think about the core value of getting those things and look for other ways to get the recognition, salary, fun, or whatever else it was that attracted you to hope in the first place.

When a door closes in your face, a window of opportunity opens somewhere else. That may be a tired cliche to some, but if you choose that as one of your philosophies of life, you more readily look for those other opportunities.

Life is full of millions of opportunities that are rewarding and satisfying. Focusing in on one thing that you cannot have will lead to unhappiness. There are many ways to be successful, many ways to find satisfaction, many ways to find acceptance, and many ways to be recognized for your worth.

So you didn't get one of those. You have a right to feel your disappointment. But then pick yourself up, survey the landscape, and pick a new direction.

Laurie Winning Best Of Breed With Her Holland Lop

Not Getting What I Want Sometimes Makes Success Sweeter
Not Getting What I Want Sometimes Makes Success Sweeter


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