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How many drugs can a poor girl do? Lindsay Lohan investigates

Updated on May 21, 2007

Lindsay at work in her field laboratory..

The results! A success!

Lindsay Lohan has been famous since she was a little girl, but she's growing up fast, and in recent years has been branching out from acting and singing to deeper pursuits, like scientific research. You may not realize it, but Lindsay has made herself a case study in teenage drug abuse. The results aren't pretty, but Lindsay is selfless enough to do it for us, and I think that we should be appreciative of that.

Her most recently published findings were on cocaine, where it was discovered that consumption of gross amounts of cocaine can result in erratic behavior, such as hanging out in disgusting places like club bathrooms and inserting one's finger into the noses of one's friends.

Many drug studies have been done before, but few have been carried out so publicly, or by one so young. At the time of writing, Lindsay is not yet 21, yet she has already spend time in a rehab facility where she 'battled' her addiction. Sadly, and perhaps due to constantly darting out for coffee, rehab seems to have failed poor little Lindsay, leaving her drinking Vodka right out of the bottle in plain view of the omnipresent paparazzi.

It takes true dedication to continue drinking even though you are on the verge of serious liver disease, but Lindsay is no stranger to dedication. According to some sources, Lindsay's liver damage was discovered when she went in to have her appendix removed: “"Lindsay’s liver panel shows her drinking is taking a terrible toll on her health. Her liver enzymes are extremely elevated, and doctors warned her if she doesn't quit boozing she could die," reported the 'National Inquirer'.

No doubt Lindsay will leave her body to science if she ever does simply drop dead over an overdose, or simply as a result of liver failure. It would be nice if she would perhaps stop drinking and doing drugs, but clearly she feels that there is a great value in what she's doing.

As a wise woman once said, “If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning.”

Her behavior should of course, be illegal, and indeed it is, but it would appear that the law does not apply to Lindsay Lohan. However she should watch out given what has happened to her one time friend Paris Hilton who discovered that the law suddenly applied to her when she least expected it.


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