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Is it Possible to Remain Friends after Divorce?

Updated on June 15, 2008

10 Important Tips

 

Divorce is emotionally draining and can be traumatic for all involved. Studies have shown that children who are in the middle of constant conflict and turmoil are left with emotional scars that sometimes do not heal. It is in the best interest of your children to create an atmosphere of mutual respect between both parents. Listed are some tips that will help smooth the transition of a family trying to survive the aftermath of divorce.

10 basic tips for effective communication between divorced couples

1. There are three sides to every story, his, hers and the truth. Be aware of this and accept your share of responsibility in the downfall of the marriage. Put yourself in your partners shoes no matter how hard that may be and be open to the facts that created the breakdown of your communication.

2. Deal with one conflict at a time. Focus on the current details and avoid complicating the situation with past negative accusations. This does nothing but tear down walls you are trying to rebuild.

3. Always make it a point to remember that this person is your child's mother or father. Be respectful when discussing the parent with your children, or other adults in their presence. Children often feel that a derogatory comment about their parent somehow reflects on them. It can take a overwhelming toll when done repeatedly.

4. Never force children into taking sides of either parent. Communication on how to resolute a dispute that has come up is best when left between the two of you.

5. Make a conscious effort to hear your ex out. We sometimes miss valuable points because we automatically shut down to their opinions. Granted there is hurt between the two of you, but looking to the future will help pave way for easier conversations in the future.

6. Set aside a mutually agreed upon time and place to discuss current problems. Preferably away from the children. Either partner should make this time a priority. Rushed conversations can escalate angry outbursts.

7. If needed, bring in a third party to act as a mediator. This will lessen the possibility of any misunderstanding in motives and will keep both parties at a higher standard for their behavior.

8. If you have trouble finding a mutually respected third party, then public places are always best to keep emotions in check.

9. Do not assume you know what the other partner thinks or will do in any given scenario. Give them an opportunity to step up. When the partner feels respected, they will be more likely to act accordingly. Most of the time, you will be pleasantly surprised.

10. You were both in love at one time. Keep those memories and make it a priority to work in unison for the well-being of your children.

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