Is there such a thing as being TOO helpful? How does one tell?
Yes, there is such a thing as being too helpful.
This is my answer to a request made by a fellow hubber.
This varies from person to person.
If the person you are trying to help is happy when you offer to help, and say "thanks", then your help is very welcome. There is an exception here, I'll explain later.
On the other hand, if the person you are trying to help says "no thank you" on your offer to help, be ready to back off. Otherwise, you are being too helpful where it's not needed. You will just annoy the person you're helping.
Sometimes, the person you are trying to help is shy.
Normally, shy people say "no" when they really mean "yes". Try to repeat your offer. Maybe that person is just concerned w/ bothering you. Try to say I am free or something that would ease their mind. If the person is just shy, usually that kind of assurance from you will make them say yes. If however, their voice changes to something louder and firmer, the answer is definitely a no and don't insist anymore.Otherwise, you're being too helpful in an annoying way.
Spouses being too helpful
Sometimes men are too helpful to their spouses
If a woman starts telling the man her problem, the man just needs to listen. Be a good listener, a good sound board. Most of the time, that's all a woman needs--to vent. If you start giving her advice and sermon, you are being too helpful when it's not wanted and will just make your spouse resent you.
Sometimes women are too helpful to their husbands
They would look at the dishes the man has washed and will rewash them, thinking it's not washed properly. This is insulting to the man and the man will not be eager to help the woman because she made him feel bad the last time he did.
Too helpful parent
If a child needs help in his/her homework, and the parent helps him/her by showing him/her how to solve the problem, that's just helping. However, if the parent solves the problem without the child doing it himself, then you have been TOO helpful. What if your answer is wrong?!;-)
Too helpful employer
If there's an employer who gives an employee a lot of things, something not normally given by an employer to an employee, and says that he/she is just trying to help, watch out. This employer could be too helpful because he/she is expecting something in return.
Don't be a too helpful friend or sibling
Sometimes you see a friend or a family member immersed in a school problem. It's so tempting to help especially if you know the answer. Right? Right!
STOP! Hold yourself.
Ask the person first if he/she needs your help at all. If yes, then you can feel free to show how smart you are. If not, too bad, they don't need your help at all. Give them a chance to discover how smart they are by finding the answer themselves. Telling the person how to solve the problem is offering too much help because it's not welcomed at all
Another too helpful spouse
If your spouse normally don't cook, or normally don't do the dishes, then suddenly he/she is helping you, he/she is being too helpful (in his/her way). Maybe he/she needs something and is just trying to butter you up. Or maybe he/she just changed his/her ways. Maybe he she just feels a bit loving...Be happy.