Welcome To My Online Urinal

 I'm new here; in case you didn't know. To be quite honest when I first got here, I was a little intimidated, and actually I still sort of am.

You see, whenever I start up on a new website, I know that I'm going in it as a newbie. An annoying pain in the butt, who will likely hit up forums and ask a million questions. The same questions that likely was asked by 400,000 other newbies before me.

Usually whenever I join a new site, I'm loved by few, and hated by many. Take Epinions.com for example. When I first joined that site, I got grilled on everything from my user name, to of course my reviews. Not enough detail, too much detail, not long enough, too short, not short enough, too long.

I roamed those pastures for about 3 years till finally I got sick and tired of the non stop rating of VH to the same damn monotone cookie cutter reviews. I got sick of being yelled at for saying crap in my reviews, and sick of being told by other reviewers who, and who should not be on my magical web of trust. I'm sure anyone who is, or ever was a part of that community know exactly what I'm talking about.The WOT. That's Hot!

After managing to grab an advisor status (which is basically the equivalent to working on the site more often than you do your 'real' job), I finally felt accomplished, and walked away.

I was told about associated content. An excellent site in my opinion. I got paid more there, people were friendly there, and I managed to scoop up a top 1000 badge in only a year. I began to enjoy writing again, and I am overall loyal to that site.

However one fine day while sitting behind my desk, I figured I should branch out; see what else was available. Something not as demanding, and hey- maybe even some spare income?

A blog! I joined Blogspot, but didn't quite fancy their templates, or look. I found hubpages next, and so far, I'm liking it.

Again though, I'm a newbie, and there is just something about being a newbie that scares newcomers to any site.

On epinions, I didn't have anyone warmly welcome me, it took about a week though to get my first foul and rude comment. Some chick on a high horse rambling on about how my user name was ridiculous, thus the reason she left me a nice fat rate of NH, which means, not helpful. hehe. No matter how wonderful my review was, my user name kept me from gaining an honest rating. How lovely! A nice hardcore NH rating, from an undersexed housewife.

I guess my nasty reply back to her created what people over there like to call, comment wars. I told her to get over herself, and before I knew it I had around 20 or so members of the community attacking me. All for... sticking up for myself? What Gives? 

For around a month or so, I had non-stop NH ratings based off of the fact that I was - err- well known as the 'bad newbie'.However little did these high horse members know, that I had a secret society of epinions members who adored me for sticking up for myself, and telling it how it was. Their encouragement kept me around. Thank you to those honest real folks over there. The ones who made the place comfortable.

Basically due to that experience, I always tread lightly when I'm new to any community. If someone has something foul to say to me, I'll basically just ignore it now, instead of feeding into it. I figure those who have nothing but negativity to spread have personal mental issues.

I mean hello... we're online, and we know damn well that most who give out hate, are really just a bunch of low down losers in real life with nothing interesting going on in their lives. They entertain themselves by trying to get a reaction out of others.

Sometimes though, when I'm bored and come across a nasty comment, I will feed into a comment war even if it's not my war. I do it just for the sake of my own boredom. It's human nature really, and sometimes... comment wars, they make you laugh, because you know the dudes doing all the back and forth arguing are nothing but a bunch of old ass folks behind a computer screen acting like they're in junior high. They finally get to feel what it feels like to be a bully, and not the one being bullied. A sense of power takes over, and they start acting all hardcore. Please, gimme a break. Hah!

But please, by all means continue... because it's entertaining. Online life would be boring without the small sack of ball-less online bullies.

Another online war that I think is hilarious is the LINK WARS!I'm sure all of you know them; possibly even participated in one. It's when you get into a lame little tiff in an online forum, and the tiff continues on into another forum, due to the fact that that forum was locked by mods seeing that it got so out of control.

Usually link wars are wars start off about a disagreement in politics or religion. That's why I never write about either. They're hot topic issues, and generate a ton of clicks, but too many crazed folks fighting in one place is too much for my mind to handle.

Anyway in a new forum, the two going head to head will spam one another links from a time when he said, she said, he said... it's funny... and sometimes it can even create a story if you're an onlooker of a link war.

I think though on every site there is a small group of those that come from an online urinal. They'll piss out there venom, toss poo around, and think they won some retarded battle of wits (I know, because they'll use the word wits quite often times; it's when they think they hit you up with the online comment of all comments- the holy grail comment)

If you ignore this 'holy grail witty comment'they'll get really pissed off, and stalk you on the web, spewing out more piss and tossing even more poo wherever you may roam.

I'm hoping here on hubpages, I don't run into any online urinals because, I so far really enjoy this community, and already I have gotten a warm welcome by a fella named Jim. So Thanks Jim, for the warm welcome. When you join any community, your first warm welcome never goes unforgotten. I think that goes for everyone. Can you remember your first warm welcome? I'm sure you can.

Anyway, although I'm a few days late... howdy-Names Melissa, and I'm new here. I should have possibly said howdy earlier on, but I'm a quite one, so I'm always late when saying hi, or howdy...or hola.

I enjoy crude humor, and bodily function humor always makes me laugh. I like swimming, reading, and writing. I don't like loud fake people, and I mostly keep to myself. I'm a hermit by nature, but can explode if lit.

I like walks on beaches, collecting sea shells, observing my surroundings, ghost stories, demon documentaries, horror movies, and most of all I like good people.

I laugh whenever I see girls online on writing sites using trampy avatars to try and generate more clicks by curious horny guys; you know the ones with the slutty photographs of themselves lickin their lips while sporting an 80's bikini?

I laugh when someone farts and admits it, and I don't mind burping out loud. I'm crude, I'm creepy, I'm comical, I'm cute.

I'm however you see me really... by my avatar though I'm sure plenty of you have already judged me. Feet on a beach- she's probably rich. Feet on a beach with no swimsuit shot- she's probably fat. Feet on a beach with beautiful waters... shes a fat rich bitch.

I'm none of the above, but see it as you will. Humans are judging by nature, so I'm sure I already have a secret fan club of haters, and possibly a secret club of those who like me, but haven't yet stepped out of the woodwork. In any case... I'll say it again, hello, I'm new here.

Welcome to my Online Urinal.